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[Aseaheru]

Also! Ask them if they have the proper forms. If they do not, make the forms/find the forms for them.

[Ozarck]

Force High five the Barrista with each of her security people. With her sword. Combine timed explosion with light, and cast this inside the eyes of all the enemies available.

And of course, create just tons of paperwork, all over them. Demand they fill it out appropriately.

[FArgHalfnr]

THEY DID NOT FILL THE NECESSARY PAPERWORK TO ALLOW THIS ATTACK. MAKE THEM FILL SAID PAPERWORK WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE IF NECESSARY. AND BECAUSE THIS IS ON CAPS-LOCK IT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE OTHER SUGGESTIONS.

[Jack A T]

THEY DID NOT FILL THE NECESSARY PAPERWORK TO ALLOW THIS ATTACK. MAKE THEM FILL SAID PAPERWORK WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE IF NECESSARY. AND BECAUSE THIS IS ON CAPS-LOCK IT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE OTHER SUGGESTIONS.

You order the agents to fill out the Attack Authorization Form A2B.  The barista stops for a second to sign the single sheet needed to authorize the attack, and then gets back to attacking.

Also! Ask them if they have the proper forms. If they do not, make the forms/find the forms for them.

They do.

Force High five the Barrista with each of her security people. With her sword. Combine timed explosion with light, and cast this inside the eyes of all the enemies available.
And of course, create just tons of paperwork, all over them. Demand they fill it out appropriately.

You start mathemagicing away at the horde of agents and their leader.  Many explode before they reach the barista.  The couple dozen or so closest to her, though, are unaffected, as is the barista.  You can't even dump paperwork on them.  As you keep casting, her sword starts to glow, and the equations you complete seem to be floating around it.

More agents flood down the stairs.

GET IN DA MECH AND FIRE ALL DA MISSLES

Finally, you enter the mech (really closer to powered armour) and fire the first barrage of bureaucratic death and destruction.  Several agents fall to the arrows and, as usual, melt away.  In the chaotic battle, the CoffeeCafe attackers and the brave public servants alike die by the dozen and staples and bullets fly about wildly.  Luckily, your mech is bulletproof.

When you start firing at the barista, though, things start going downhill.  With inhumanly fast reactions and movements, she slashes through every arrow in reach.  She calmly walks towards you when you're busy generating new arrows, and chuckles.  "So, the Society's already recruited you.  Enjoying being their pawn?"

In an instant, she stabs straight through the mech and your chest, and pulls her sword back just as quickly.  The mech starts to fall to pieces, sheets of paperwork flying away on the breeze, and blood gushes out of your wound.  You start to have tunnel vision, sounds fade, and you feel faint.  You probably will fall unconscious quite soon.

The maintenance worker you and the rest of the office called for a week ago finally arrives, walks through the chaos, and starts to inspect the coffee maker.

Spoiler: Mathemagic (click to show/hide)

Mathemagician in Training
Mathemagic: Extend/Retract Staff, Repair Coffee Maker, Light, Elemental Bolt, Justify Policy, Do Paperwork, Create Paperwork, Search Archives, Force High Five, Set Timer, Timed Explosion, Build Paper Mech, Harden Paperwork

[Ozarck]

extend staff, straight through the barista.

((we only just began the fight. I kinda hoped for at least a round where sh got close for us to flee. I mean come on, she was all the way across the room. I figure seeing the magic totally unaffect her would have been a hint. Besides, it ruined my chance to sarcastically reply to her question with "better than being dead. Now, where's my Blanket and Pillows?"))

[Pearofclubs]

Synthesize paperwork in which you assert that, since you have brewed coffee at some point, you are, in fact, a coffee maker. Justify the policy, and repair yourself.

Or, if that fails, create medical paperwork with which to desperately bandage yourself.

[Ozarck]

Failing that, die.

[FArgHalfnr]

hey, capslock apparently works for real
Anyways, summon MOAR FORTS out of hardened paperwork all over the place, but apply the medical paperwork previously mentioned on ourselves first.

[Jack A T]

extend staff, straight through the barista.
((we only just began the fight. I kinda hoped for at least a round where sh got close for us to flee. I mean come on, she was all the way across the room. I figure seeing the magic totally unaffect her would have been a hint. Besides, it ruined my chance to sarcastically reply to her question with "better than being dead. Now, where's my Blanket and Pillows?"))

"Better..." As you start to force out a few words, the barista leans in to listen.  You struggle to speak, but manage to say, "...better than being dead."

The barista chuckles a bit.  She's off guard. This is a perfect opportunity.  You position your staff and rapidly extend it, knocking the barista back and skewering her.

Synthesize paperwork in which you assert that, since you have brewed coffee at some point, you are, in fact, a coffee maker. Justify the policy, and repair yourself.

With the barista away, you focus on dealing with your wound.  A combination of the right spells might work.  You create paperwork declaring you a coffee maker due to having brewed coffee.  A detailed report and legal argument justifying this declaration is next, but your hands feel slower and clumsier as you keep tapping away at the calculator.  Midway through repairing the coffee maker, your calculator use becomes too clumsy.  The last thing you see before you black out is the maintenance worker stepping away from the office coffee maker...

Failing that, die.

This is not yet the time.  You awaken quite soon, patched up and energized.  The maintenance worker stands above you, a now-bloody toolbox in his hands.

You stand and take your staff once more, face the seemingly unfazed barista, and ask, "Now, where's my Blanket and Pillows?"  Your opponent smirks and charges.

summon MOAR FORTS out of hardened paperwork all over the place, but apply the medical paperwork previously mentioned on ourselves first.

Walls of triplicate-written forms rise in front of the barista, impeding her movement.  Bricks of dense legalese surround you, shielding you from the bullets of the agents.  Towers of needless authorization request forms stand tall amidst the chaos.

Spoiler: Mathemagic (click to show/hide)

Mathemagician in Training
Mathemagic: Extend/Retract Staff, Repair Coffee Maker, Light, Elemental Bolt, Justify Policy, Do Paperwork, Create Paperwork, Search Archives, Force High Five, Set Timer, Timed Explosion, Build Paper Mech, Harden Paperwork

[Ozarck]

Snark Level two, achieved.

Thank the Maintenance worker with a nod.

I really didn't want to do this. It's an action almost as bad as changing our password to something 'secure' and not 'obvious.' I'd really much rather surf circles around the barista on the paperwork waves, striking her from all sides while screaming about bad service, and demanding to see a manager.

Fire Elemental Bolt at the Barista. Run Surf away on the tides of paperwork before she can skewer us again. Seek refuge in an organic juice shop.

[Demonic Spoon]

Search Archives for the weaknesses of the barista.

[Generally me]

Create an engagement ring and ask her to marry you. That'll put her off guard.

[Andres]

Create God using calculus

[Ozarck]

Create Gold using calchemy.

FTFY

[SaberToothTiger]

Dance Salsa and order a cappucino.