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[Yoink]

Good lord Armok!!
I just had an artifact, and left my fort running while I posted in a forum game, and when I had finished the wall of text I looked back, and... WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED.
Heaps of people brawling, dying of thirst, spamming 'cancels attend party:no floor space' and even going into fell moods!
I think I might have forgotten to un-trap that builder who deconstructed the walkway he was standing on...

Oh, no... My carpenter was already unhappy from all the trouble, but then someone killed her husband... A short while later she went beserk, and started killing everyone. So she'd killed about... Nine dwarves and dogs, and was charging back towards the fortress when suddenly- *POP* she gave birth! I wish I didn't have to unpause the game now.

Edit: Yeah, the poor baby didn't last long, but I may still have hope for survival! She's currently chasing a peasant through the pasture, scaring the animals, and a yak calf just kicked the tame honeybadger, who then went into a rage and is now chasing the berserk carpenter, along with a wolf! This could be interesting.


...Wow. Just wow.
I thought maybe the honey badger/wolf combo might take her down, but she's strangling the wolf to death, and the F**ing racoon launches itself through the air, latches onto her head and starts tearing into her! And the honey badger is helping, too!
She has a racoon and a badger latched onto her head!

[BloodBeard]

Not really a fort, but just some arena mode shenanigans.

I wasn't sure if a dwarfs height and broadness played into combat so I added 2 more dwarves to the raws, one that would always generate at the high end of the scale and one at the low end.

The short and skinny dwarves didn't stand a chance. I pit a big dwarf against a small dwarf in 200 battles and the big dwarf won 100% of the time. They were unskilled and wrestled without equipment and id have to guess the gap would shorten with weapons.

I tried it again, only this time I pit a big dwarf against 2 small dwarves 100 times. The big dwarves still won 87% of the time.

Moral of the story: size matters

[Yoink]

Okay, the raccoon and honey badger just finished off the beserk human who wiped out half my fort. Wow.
The raccoon is now named Felbora, or 'Holdmines'. Epic. Truly epic. I want to play as that raccoon in adventure mode!
Apparently she is 'gigantic' with 'incredible muscles'. I'm kinda scared of this raccoon...

[monk12]

Okay, the raccoon and honey badger just finished off the beserk human who wiped out half my fort. Wow.
The raccoon is now named Felbora, or 'Holdmines'. Epic. Truly epic. I want to play as that raccoon in adventure mode!
Apparently she is 'gigantic' with 'incredible muscles'. I'm kinda scared of this raccoon...

I lol'd. Best raccoon ever!

[Yoink]

Hey, it's not over yet!
Another person just went berserk in the main hall, and attacked a stray dog. The racoon launched herself  across the room and is now gnawing madly on 'em. ...And there's another human in the grips of a tantrum, fighting the beserker as well.
This is madness.

[monk12]

Hey, it's not over yet!
Another person just went berserk in the main hall, and attacked a stray dog. The racoon launched herself  across the room and is now gnawing madly on 'em. ...And there's another human in the grips of a tantrum, fighting the beserker as well.
This is madness.

Madness?

[Yoink]

Yeah... The raccoon didn't get the kill that time, but she got beaten on a bit, before the other guy managing to punch the beserker's head in. The raccoon managed to latch onto their throat though, which was pretty cool.

When I reclaim this fort, I hope I get an engraving of the raccoon killing the beserk carpenter.

[Haspen]

Numtosid have 181 dwarves. Barely any food, and oh, dwarves are running on water now.

The no-caravan siege-induced period has now extended to almost two full years. We are thriving on plump helmets, with occassional fat biscuits. If our hunters manage to kill a marmot. Where are big, juicy camels when you need them?

[Berserkenstein]

One of my hunters was frequently tantrumming after sleeping in the mud and getting all five of his hunting dogs slaughtered by blind cave ogres.

He often would take it out on his wife who was also a hunter, they shared an apartment together.

Apparently she had a chat with a friend, who I guess suggested she take him out next time.

Well, he went berserk for the last time and she murdered his spousal abusing ass.

The captain of the guard found that it was in self defence.

[Thor]

Using the Brilliant Legends viewer, I've discovered that my squad of Sworddwarves have become the 9 dwarves with the highest kills in all of dwarf history. Degel, my farmer-turned-knight favourite has only 11 kills to his name. Yet he is #1 Dwarf on the kill lists!

Thank god I came to this world, else the dwarves would be nice and give hugs and kisses. And the Goblins apparantly declared another war last year? This is news to me, but good news. LET'S SORT OUT THESE SISSIES!

[Saint]

Almost all of the residential district is complete, just have to build the bar and roof the place over. It should house comfortably 17 familys per floor with two floors of housing. I consider a family between 1 and 4 dwarves. So that means all the lowely labourers will have to live in the farms while my important dwarves stay here. I have finished the administrative section, save the four panic bunkers, as if the entire construction wasn't already planned out with many many defensive features, my favorite being flooding airlocks between sectors, of course they can be flooded and drained at the same time to purge unwanted things from the area, specificaly usefull if whatever we are trying to keep out can't drown (the wildlife around here are undead but I doubt they will make it even close to this far into the fort.) . The generator room is currently going under finishing touches when we start the plumbing system, of course it was more logical to pump water ALL THE WAY UP HERE to generate power instead of build our powerplant on the ground, duh, if I abandone that and do it the lazy way I'll probably turn that into a water purification system, somehow. The lab sector isn't even started as I have no idea what it will look like, but all I know is it's going to have an alchemists workshop in it and various rooms of different sizes that I can reconstruct for testing, one of which will experiment with training super soldiers using the most brutal and deadly techniques that I can think of and because of this danger the lab has an entire secondary airlock that contains a decontamination and purge system to keep whatever goes wrong in the lab.

[Haspen]

FUCK YES!

YES! YESSS!

After almost two years straight without no help from outside, dwarven caravan filled with metals, armors, food and alcohol has arrived. I almost cried tears of joy and my dwarves surely did. No more water and plump helmets only everyday! Woot!

Also, a titan which got dealt with quickly and with just one casualty.

[monk12]

FUCK YES!

YES! YESSS!

After almost two years straight without no help from outside, dwarven caravan filled with metals, armors, food and alcohol has arrived. I almost cried tears of joy and my dwarves surely did. No more water and plump helmets only everyday! Woot!

Also, a titan which got dealt with quickly and with just one casualty.

FORGET THE TITAN, URIST, GRAB THE BOOZE!

[Lainers]

Hello! My first week with DF.

One of my craftsdwarves entered in this creative state, ya know... Instead of rushing to one workshop, she just stood there for two months in the same place and got mad at the world. The final result: 4 dogs and the said dwarf are now in my junk piles.

Guess I need to train some military to deal with these situations...

[Urist Imiknorris]

What was the dwarf's profession?

_{Betting on glassmaker, weaver or clothier}