Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[poketwo]

"THE PRAETOR ARE AN ALIEN SPECIES EMPIRE SPANNING MANY GALAXIES THAT SENT A MINOR FLEET TO INVADE EARTH,NOT ONE INDIVIDUAL. And I will never work with The cannibal."

[BlitzDungeoneer]

"...I have literally never eaten another one of my species. I am not a CANNIBAL, you COLLOSAL JACKASS!"

[FallacyofUrist]

"Hmmm... perhaps I'll send a few at you. And you will work with the cannibal unless you want to be assaulted with evil clowns like that one."
The man raises a finger and points at the evil clown.
"And as to you... you will need to set your differences aside if you wish to survive. Unless you want to die, anyway."

[BlitzDungeoneer]

You as well?
Blitz just sighs in exasperation.

[FallacyofUrist]

"Okay, it doesn't seem likely that you eat your own species. My point is you will need to cooperate."

The evil clown snarls horribly evil like!

[poketwo]

"BUT YOU LOOK EXACTLY LIKE HIM!!!!"

[BlitzDungeoneer]

And you look nothing like a Jackass, but you're the biggest jackass I've ever met! What's your point?!

[FallacyofUrist]

"Who, me?"

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Of course you! It's not like I've been talking to this f*****g jackass for the past 20 seconds or so or anything!

[FallacyofUrist]

"And are you being literal?"

[BlitzDungeoneer]

No I'm bloody well not. I was being sarcastic, obviously. I can't even tell what you look like.

[Beirus]

Jase stops his macho battle poses as the image on the screen flickers. "You mean this isn't a battle to the death? Ah well, that clears things up." He states to the screen before turning to the swordsman. "You still wanna try something with that toothpick?" He asks the swordsman.

If the swordsman decides not to attack him, he turns to the clown. "Hey clown, let me ask you something. What are you gonna do when AXEMANIA runs wild on you?" He states, hefting his axe over his shoulder and making various poses to flex his muscles.

Leaping axe strike on the clown, or the swordsman if he insists on fighting.

[endlessblaze]

got room for one more?

[~Neri]

Build perpetual motion coffee machines. Use them to power turbines for a factory that builds robots. Call the Freeman in to deal with the Resonance Cascade

[FallacyofUrist]

Turn Two: Crazy, Game Master, Crazy, Players


INIT_BATTLE:
(Sir Notspyxeno: 93)
(Nidilap: 85)
(Lahaco: 27)
(Blitz: 2)
(Jase Bladeheart: 92)
(Johnny Nahmates: 26)
(Level One Evil Clown: 68)

Sir Notspyxeno argues horrendously with Blitz! (5) Blitz loses his action!

Jase on the other hand... decides to attack the swordsman, because the swordsman shows no intention of attacking someone else. (6-1=5 vs. 6) Jase leaps into the air, bringing his axe down... a few inches from Nidilap's toes.

Nidilap counterattacks! Ten times you say? That means you get -10 to hit for each attack. Your maximum is -4 to hit, while Jase's min dodge is 1. I think we see what happens: nothing. How awkward.

Naturally the Level One Evil Clown laughs! (2) Thankfully he is not distracted enough to lose his action. He uses Acid Pie on... Jase! (1-1 vs. 4). Yeah. Jase (roll to deflect instead of dodge: 5) whacks the pie right back at the clown! (2 vs. 2) The pie lands at the clown's feet. The floor melts. (roll for craziness from melted floor: 6) Okay, the floor melts perfectly normally.

Lahaco does not fight, but rather tries to build perpetual motion coffee machines! (4) Lahaco removes its left leg, and crafts it into a perpetual motion coffee machine, producing infinite coffee... with ground coffee beans anyway. (4) Lahaco rigs the machine into a perpetual motion electric generator! Not very efficient, but still it works. (roll for factory: 4 vs. 4 plus game master whimsy) No. No factory. But hey, at least you have a generator, and are incapable of walking!

Johnny Nahmates is the only one going after the clown. (5-1 vs. 1) Johnny unleashes a fierce kick which hits the clown's leg very squarely! (damage: 3+2 vs. 1) The leg snaps! The clown falls! You promptly sit on the clown: (6) You slam your body on top of the clown, (3), inflicting bruises.

Blitz would act, but he's confused about Sir Notspyxeno's Insane Troll Logic.

Statuses for the main characters may be found at the start. Good day.

"The only one of you who actually hurt the enemy was the mad former druggie deer! I'm not certain you guys deserve my brilliant attention..."

^#&Q&&#:
Level One Evil Clown.
Active: Acid Pie: Throw an acid pie at a target, -1 to hit but +2 extra acid damage. 2 turn cooldown. Cooling down for two more turns.
Passive: Evil Clown Mockery: When attacking the Evil Clown the attackers get -1 to hit.
Malus Passive: Evil Clowning Around: When preforming an action, roll a six-sided die or something similar. On a 1 the action is dropped automatically.
Inventory: Clown Suit, Clown Makeup Kit, Clown Dagger, Snapped Leg, Prone.

If I've made any mistakes with rolls feel free to inform me. You may earn health potions by doing this.

Added waitlist. Note that it is non-traditional: waitlist may flow into the main game without deaths, under certain conditions. Of course a death in game will get one waitlister in.