GO BACK IN TIME AND POSSES THE INQUISITOR IN CHARGE OF THE FLEET AND ORDER EXTERMINATUS ON THE PLANET
[6] You leap back in time and order the exterminatus. The inquisitors see a ghost yelling at them and use their ghost-busting equipment to dispose of you, and send you into the afterlife.
I DONT NEED A HEAD TO FUCK A STRAWBERRY
[1] But you do to live, you are now deader than dead. The strawberry queen won't talk to ghosts.
Attempt to stitch up my wounds and assist in the murder of the inquisitor to prevent the death of paul. DEATH TO THE PAUL EATER!
[2] You slip on a piece of Poketwo's charred flesh from when he was executed and miss your window of opportunity. Dammit!
Attempt to stitch up my wounds and assist in the murder of the inquisitor to prevent the death of paul. DEATH TO THE PAUL EATER!
"You are one most idiotic."
[2] Your psionic communication is really on the fritz, you can't seem to send any messages at all. Also, you don't exist, which is known to make communication harder.
Become Paul the Pineapple. Return from the gravy.
[3] You are now Paul, and are covered in gravy. It doesn't make you any less dead.
Attempt to stitch up my wounds and assist in the murder of the inquisitor to prevent the death of paul. DEATH TO THE PAUL EATER!
"You are one most idiotic."
the chain snapped. maybe if you could help me we could prevent this whole paul thing from happening, or we could go back in time and we could take control
[6] You psionically scream into the abyss that is the dead world and the abyss screams back into you. Your psionic abilities have been lost.
Unaware of Paul's tragic death, I will drive around through places far and wide, gathering a rag-tag team of professional pineapple eaters in my car.
[3] You find some people that are ok with eating pineapple, but nobody that's really a professional. Turns out there isn't a lot of money to be made in that field so there aren't many that get involved in it.
Unaware of Paul's tragic death, I will drive around through places far and wide, gathering a rag-tag team of professional pineapple eaters in my car.
I will join, my chain sword may be used to better chop them up into eddible, bite sized chunks
[6] You try to jump in the car as he drives off and you get in. However, your hand slipped and you accidentally chain-sworded your leg off. Hope you can staunch the bleeding before it's too late.
Chop up Paul and eat him.
[2] There's no Paul left, how are you gonna do that?
Use my newfound eldritch power to eat all the pineapples in the universe! At the same time!
[5] You devour every pineapple across the multiverse, all the Pauls, all the non-Pauls and all the sort of Pauls too.
Chop up Paul and eat him.
ooh maybe we can make some juice from him a nd make some thing like a margarita. also wouldn't doing this be like drinking his blood
[5]
"Yeah! Pineapple vampires for life, bro!"Brag
Ha! I've already eaten 2000 pineapples.
[4] You successfully boast about your accomplished gut. It doesn't impress Sl4cker, who just ate more pineapple than you could possibly imagine, but everyone else says "Ok, sure buddy, whatever you say".
Fix jaw
[4] You fix your jaw and bandage it up. Not quite good as new, but you probably won't have any problems with it. Probably.
Congratulate the GM on a good RTD!
[1] You stumble on your words. to the point of babbling incoherently. The GM offers you some water. You start choking on the water.
((Thanks, good to know people are having fun))
Author
Topic: Don't eat the pineapple minimalist RTD - Revenge of the meta (Read 46541 times)