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[Lyeos]

Flee with the wallet of Adragis!

[Sl4cker]

Sell my soul to the devil in exchange for becoming an eldritch horror!

[birdy51]

Convince Paul that he is a fictional character made by forumites on the Bay12 Forums. The revelation will drive him mad.

[Aslandus]

Teach you how to spell "learn"

[6] Your lessons are so strenuous that you develop a migraine. Good luck with that. ((If you weren't joking, I actually do know that it's "learn" and not "lern", I just thought it would be funnier))

Take us all back in time to the first post.

[2] You try, but you can't seem to get a grip on the timestream.

Say sorry for the harsh words to the beatiful and... Wow, she's a beauty! Uh, well, your grace- I mean- You- you're a good leader, I'm just angry at Paul's treason.

[5] She's very flattered by your advances and offers the aid of her and her people against this clearly monstrous person you call "Paul" who would commit treason on someone as personable as you. Since clearly you're the leader of your people and you're not trying to convince her that Paul lives in her kingdom and is committing treason against her. It would be very ineffective treason given that she's never heard of him.

Tell Jeffiroth (JEFFIROTH!) that Vexen, Lexaeus and Xaldin are at it again in the form of a giant pineapple.

[1] "What? Who? Never heard of those guys before" He also thinks you're dumb for making up three names that all have X's, and yes, he can tell.

Just get to the accusers and show them the video.

[3] What accuser? There's no accusation, it is clear to everyone you're crazy. Of course, when you show them the video they are pretty unmoved.
"What am I looking at here? Looks like a bunch of nutters praying to a pineapple"

Flee with the wallet of Adragis!

[6] You flee, then stumble and hit your head on a rock. You are dead.

Sell my soul to the devil in exchange for becoming an eldritch horror!

[4] You are now an eldritch horror with a name no mortal can pronounce. Of course, now the devil has your soul and if you die (again, or for the first time, I can't keep track anymore) you will immediately go TO HELL

Convince Paul that he is a fictional character made by forumites on the Bay12 Forums. The revelation will drive him mad.

[5] You tell him and he goes mad, because he's been on those forums and knows what kind of bizarre stuff they come up with.

[poketwo]

Go back in time again and see if paul ever actualy talked

[Yoink]

Damnit!
Walk in the direction of the nearest town. Steal the first vehicle I come across.
Edit: Try my best to ignore any invisible voices. Unless it's the Oracle or something, I guess.

[poketwo]

Damnit!
Walk in the direction of the nearest town. Steal the first vehicle I come across.

"I recommend that if I fail at finding out if the pineapple is actually sentient and fail at plan b, I suggest you help me make sure my transaction with spongefred goes as planed."

[Sl4cker]

Rebel against the title of the thread and eat the pineapple! The one with a face!

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Kill Sl4cker
Start a debating club

[Adragis]

((I bet you don't know who Jeffiroth (JEFFIROTH!) is))
Give up and say it doesn't matter and he probably never read that one book.

[Aslandus]

((I bet you don't know who Jeffiroth (JEFFIROTH!) is))
Give up and say it doesn't matter and he probably never read that one book.

((Your obtuse references are meaningless to me, I guessed it had something to do with Sephiroth from FFVII))

[Adragis]

((very loosely
Let's just say it was hilarious))

[Nidilap]

Seduce the Strawberry Queen with some poetry and songs

[spazyak]

If I am aloud to join in then
I grab thine chain sword and charge of to find and stop the cult of paul

[Aslandus]

Go back in time again and see if paul ever actualy talked

[2] Dammit, where you put the keys to the time rift again?

Damnit!
Walk in the direction of the nearest town. Steal the first vehicle I come across.
Edit: Try my best to ignore any invisible voices. Unless it's the Oracle or something, I guess.

[4] You walk calmly into town and hop into a car, luckily they left the keys on the dashboard so now you have some transport. Invisible voices, what voices?

Damnit!
Walk in the direction of the nearest town. Steal the first vehicle I come across.

"I recommend that if I fail at finding out if the pineapple is actually sentient and fail at plan b, I suggest you help me make sure my transaction with spongefred goes as planed."

[2] You can't seem to get through to him. Dammit, of all the times for your psychic powers to go on the fritz.

Kill Sl4cker
Start a debating club

[6] You start a debating club, but in a heated argument you get your jaw broken by your opponent. No more talking for you.

((I bet you don't know who Jeffiroth (JEFFIROTH!) is))
Give up and say it doesn't matter and he probably never read that one book.

[4] Jeffiroth understands, you were probably talking about one of those fanfics people write about him all the time. He jsut doesn't have time in the day to read through them all. He apologizes.

Seduce the Strawberry Queen with some poetry and songs

[1] Whoops, a little off key. And there goes your head... Tough crowd...

If I am aloud to join in then
I grab thine chain sword and charge of to find and stop the cult of paul

[1] You pull out a chain sword and it immediately bends around and stabs through you. Ouch.

Rebel against the title of the thread and eat the pineapple! The one with a face!

[5] You munch down the pineapple and pull the stitches back out of your mouth. Paul is very disappointed in you.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

PAUL IS DEAD. GAME OVER. YOU LOSE.
_{((well, I'll let you keep playing if you want, but technically it's over legit now that he's been successfully eaten))}