No, I'm saying that this is a trivial issue and it's silly that people worry about it. That, at least in the context of bathroom use, there should be no need to differentiate between male and FtM or between female and MtF. Yes, there are cases where reality means that there are differences. Last i checked, for example, MtF people are incapable of becoming pregnant. So, there's a difference, yes. But stuff like that really,
really doesn't need to matter when it comes time to choosing which room to pee in.
I'm willing to let the people in the middle decide for themselves which room to use, based on their own personal judgement about which is more appropriate in their case. And if they guess wrong and somebody is uncomfortable as a result, well that's unfortunate, but sometimes social interactions are uncomfortable. Make your best guess. This is not an important enough issue to require legislation or construction of a third bathroom type.
Regarding this not being about transgenders at all...I still think it isn't. Go find some real life girl and ask her: "if you were in a girl's only bathroom and somebody with a penis walked in, would that make you uncomfortable/suspicious/put you on guard?" I don't think that answer is going to change if the person with a penis is wearing a dress or "feels strongly" that they'd have been better off as a girl. Yes, there are some difficult places in the middle. If you're a pre-operative, taking hormones and dressed convincingly as a girl...but you still have a penis...ok, yeah...there's some room in the middle that's fuzzy. Like I said, make your best guess. I suspect that if anybody looked at you not naked would conclude you're a woman, it would probably be more comfortable for others for you to use the woman's bathroom rather than the men's bathroom even if you do still have a penis.
This isn't about you. It's about common courtesy and not making other people uncomfortable. So long as you act on the intention to not make others uncomfortable rather than turning the whole issue into an opportunity to "prove to the world" that your own personal sense of gender identity is more important than other people, I'm wiling to accept your best guess made on a case by case basis. Probably a lot of transgenders could pass for either sex depending on how they're dressed and made up. I would suggest choosing based on which you most closely resemble at the moment in the context of what others around you will be most likely to be comfortable with.
Truman means that part of the problem is that people don't see transgender as an actual thing, so a male-to-female transgendered person is just seen as a male CIS guy.
I don't think that's how the average person sees it. Granted, this isn't a conversation I've had with a lot of people, but I think if you were to pick a bunch of people at random and ask "Joe was born a man, then took hormones until he grew boobs, had surgery to remove his penis, changed his name to Joann and now acts like a woman, dresses like a woman and lives like a woman. Is it ok for Joann to call herself a girl and use the girl's bathroom?"
I think most people are going to say yes.
Now, if you then ask a guy if he'd
want to know before having sex with Joann, I think most would also say yes. They'd want to know. And probably some would decline. Though I suspect how good looking Joann is would probably be a significant factor in the decision either way.
But call herself a girl and use the woman's bathroom? Yes, I think the totally average person with no particular investment in gender topics would agree that's ok.