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[Amperzand]

{That's what I'm saying, no moving time forward more than a few seconds until everyone has a chance to flip out/be incredibly deadpan and snarky. After that we'll actually act to fix the disaster/rescue anyone lucky enough to only be wounded.}

[Gwolfski]

Date whatever, 'bout 3 in the morning

Im so gonna kill maim destroy punish the idiotic dwarf that told me the pitchblende radioactive thingy veiin was in the caverns!!!

So,  basicaly, what i need to do to order somebody to do is unblock and reconstruct the downstair. However, I suppose some coffins will still be useful, considering the potentialy fortress-maiming effects of cave-ins. Hopefully , I can still blow something up!

I hope the one [dwarf] that told there is only one natural pillar within 100 miles of our fortess is wrong, as it would take absolute ages to rebuild the stairs. Well, atleast all i need to do is tell dwarves to build updown stairs in the remains of the old stairway. Easy!!

Meanwhile, I might be able to continue my experiments, assuming we have a good supply of potatos/citrus fruit/other acidy substances, zinc and copper!

{guess what im doing}
{anyway, might include some characteristics of mne:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

LegendARY reader
adept slchemist
competent bow/crossbow/gun dwarf
great liar
master enginner
dabbling grower

very agile
great analytical abilities
a boundless creative imagination
a poor ability to manage or understand social relationships
no patience at all
poor focus 

likes cats for their aloofness

}

[Amperzand]

{I'm going to just class everyone who didn't post as unconscious in three... Two...}

[Amperzand]

{As I am a cruel and authorial bloodgod provisional GM, all the information you need is not in the first two sentences, read everything.}

As the dust settles and the survivors' abused eardrums begin to stop throbbing, a few very important things become obvious. To begin with, only about ten people are still even a little bit alive, judging by the giblets everywhere.

Rather more importantly, and probably more obviously if we weren't all shell-shocked as hell, the huge, ten-meter-thick natural stone pillar that contained the only stairway has fallen. Completely. The massive explosion blasted the bottom out from under it, kicked it loose from the ceiling, and rather like cutting a tree the dumb way, dropped a thousand tonnes of stone on the Forgotten Beast that caused the blast in the first place.

You're pretty sure it's dead, since there are chunks of its torso and head scattered all over the place. Some of them even killed people, the ones who weren't jellied by the explosion or burned to death by all the fire that not only hasn't gone out but has started to spread. Looking up, it becomes apparent that not only did the pillar fall away from the roof, but it brought a good section of said roof down with it. Something else explodes, probably an unlucky soldier's ammunition, and throws yet more rubble and molten phosphor everywhere. Did I mention phosphor is poisonous?

The Scotsman escaped relatively unscathed, other than the bleeding headwound. Pyrefly is trapped under ten tonnes of unstable rubble with a broken arm and fire everywhere, so caution should likely be taken. Blaze is living up to his name by being caught in the backblast of his own spell, having been doused with sorcerous napalm and badly drained of vital energies. I am pinned to a particularly massive lump of rubble by a razor-edged sliver of diamond almost a meter long, stuck straight through my thigh and into the granite behind, so I'll probably need some help with not bleeding to death if I try moving any muscles in the lower left section of my body.

Of the sixty or so soldiers involved here, twenty were in the staircase when it fell, thirty died by various giant-diamond-monster related problems, and two are currently burning to death with much horrible screaming. Field-Promoted Sergeant Sarvesh has a dented helmet, his shirt is on fire, and he looks extremely efficient.

To top everything off, one of our surviving seven dwarfy minions has just been violently stabbed to death by a Troglodyte with a bone-tipped spear and his twenty identical buddies.

The people in the fortress above could, in theory, carve a staircase into one of the several other pillars in the area, but they should probably focus on killing the Troggies and getting us out alive first, since that would take weeks.

[Pyrefly]

The firefly woman tried to move, but found herself pinned by rubble. She shouted for help, not able to do much else...

[Gwolfski]

you know, dwarfs thnk its more important to have a party then to save their dying fellowws.... ah well, more "exploring" with a big sack for me!

[Amperzand]

{...So apparently Blaze, Wolf, and Lifeweaver are just kinda gone? Y'ello? Guys? Reappear? At least LW has a reason.}

Many dwarves would do that. And then there are the command staff I've spent the last year or so beating into intelligence and giving "therapy" for their passive-suicidal tendencies.

There are really guards everywhere, and with all the checkpoints sealed it's actually quite difficult to reach any valuables, let alone take them without being noticed.
"You, civilian, they need workers near the cave-in, I don't care how many leaves you're hauling, GIT."

I launch my last flare into the Troglodytes, then drop the stubber and begin cautiously working my rifle around to a firing position, every movement damaging my leg a little more.

Sarvesh manages to simultaneously extinguish his clothing, set up a firing line of five soldiers, and bring the lone surviving bandage-carrier along to begin stabilizing the wounded and pulling people out of the rubble. Some of the bodies everywhere might still be alive, after all.

The troglodytes, many of them severely burned, charge while screaming battlecries in their rudimentary language, shaking spears, clubs, and axes, bullets intermittently landing among them.

[endlessblaze]

((srry I have been ;away for a bit, what happened?))

[Amperzand]

{My last couple RPposts should make everything clear. Also you're severely on fire.}}

[Gwolfski]

Dwarfs are stupid. its a fact. Told them to build a stairway down. They said they can only buildthe top step. this is gonna take ages.

What does this lever do?

[endlessblaze]

"CRAP CRAP CRAP!

-one hastily drawn rune later-

-beats out the remains of his on fire while others do likewise-

-takes note of casualties-

"well then.....I TOLD YOU WE NEEDED MORE DEATHTRAPS!"

[Gwolfski]

*pulls lever*

(This might or might not have done somrthing in the cverns. invent}

[endlessblaze]

"wait.....did any of you hear that? ....someone pulled the lever that opens the well grate."

-blaze begins removing his armor, he keeps his sword though-

[Gwolfski]

hmm. didnt seem to have done anything. Better switch it off.

*pulls lever again*

[endlessblaze]

........"did it just.............................................DANG IT!"