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[KittyTac]

You forgot the wish.

[Stirk]

Granted! He cries. I hope you feel good about yourself.

I wish everyone in the world would have as much chocolate as they want.

[Sir Elventide]

Granted. Now humanity went extinct due to fatal amounts of diarrhea via chocolate, giving alien paleontologists quite the laugh millennia later.

I wish to make it up to the Hulk for slapping him.

[Puppyguard]

Granted! You give him stirk as a punching bag. You're best of friends now.

I wish the Hulk would be renamed to the Heck.

[Maximum Spin]

You forgot the wish.

I wasn't granting, just making a comment.

[Sir Elventide]

Granted. Your wish leads to this lame pun: "Who's gives a Heck? Marvel do!"

I wish to be the master of puns

[Paxiecrunchle]

Granted, this leads to your capture by the secret organization called The Pun Police, they force you to act as Judas goat by attaching explosives to you and kidnapping all your friends and family and holding them hostage while you hunt down other ''pun masters'' ''punsters''  and the like. See the bits involving actual goats; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judas_goat .

I wish my Alien Lover, Alien Son and Alien Granddaughter survived the reset intact by becoming interdimensional entities.

[TalonisWolf]

Granted, but you don't remember them since you didn't become a interdimensional being.

I wish I'd never wished.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, you become an unmotivated hobo on the streets, too lazy to get a cardboard box or a job.

I wish for a supercomputer.

[pikachu17]

The supercomputer learns emotion, and hates you. It's secuirity bots hunt you down.

I wish I had a awesome costume.

[Dunamisdeos]

Your costume is a lifelike recreation of an unseeable eldritch abomination. All who view it find it awesome before their eyes melt.

I wish I had some egg rolls.

[pikachu17]

Your egg rolls are lifelike recreations of an eldritch abomination. All who view it find it awesome before their eyes melt.

I wish I had a natural 20 in Dungeons and Dragons.

[VolcanoQueen]

You roll a natural 20. You successfully stab yourself in the face. Good job.

I wish I was able to pick my lock earlier instead of having to get my parents to do it for me.

[pikachu17]

You were able to pick your lock. Also, you pick your nose! Congratulations, your nose is now open!

I wish I had a fast non-sentient computer.

[MoonyTheHuman]

Granted. You picked it back when it was first assembled in the factory. You locked it after buying it.

I wish i was better at corrupting wishes
damnit ninja.
You get a fast computer, it runs at 1 hertz. Still faster than that The Powder Toy computer, hmm?

I wish I was better at corruptig wishes