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[Stirk]

Granted. He killed you during the slaughter this time.

I wish everyone a Happy Halloween!

[TalonisWolf]

Granted, you gave us all the happiness out of your Halloween.

I wish for flour.

[Paxiecrunchle]

Granted, You are give flower-flour specifically, deadly nightshade flour. You accidentally spill it causing a large mess.

I wish I knew what my alien son looked like.

[Gigabytebob]

granted. BUT OH GOD HIS APPEARANCE SENDS YOU INSANE (like Cthulhu)

I wish genies stopped corrupting peoples wishes

[Paxiecrunchle]

Granted Cakes do it instead.

I wish everyone else would just accept that they are are the crazy ones, and that I am perfectly sane.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted. They decide the appropriately crazy thing to do would be to kill and eat you. Then each other. Luckily, your alien son saves you and kills and eats them! It's great until he turns back and stares at you and you get driven insane again.

I wish cakes granted horses.

[KittyTac]

The horses are dead.

I wish for a memory-wiper helmet that lets me selectively erase my memories.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted. However, the first time you use it, you're still getting used to the controls and accidentally wipe the last hour or so of your memory, including your memory of using it for the first time. You can't remember ever using it, so you go to use it for the first time, but you're still getting used to the controls and accidentally wipe the last hour or so of your memory, including your memory of using it for the first time. Then, you can't remember ever using it, so you go to use it for the first time, but you're still getting used to the controls and... this goes on until you finally, hour by hour, erase your whole life up to being a toddler who can't understand machinery well enough to do any further damage.

I wish it would rain kittens on KittyTac every time he says something about kittens.

[KittyTac]

Granted. Yay, kittens!

I wish for a giant trampoline to catch the kittens.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted. All the kittens bounce away from you and now you have no kittens. YOUR FAULT.

I wish for ice, but not too much ice.

[Paxiecrunchle]

Granted, a few very small pieces of ice appear inside your eyeballs, the melts and no one has any idea howyou managed to get watery holes inside your now destroyed eyes, I hope that was not too much ice.

I wish my alien son had an alien granddaughter for me, ad that he would wear a bag over his head to prevent people going mad just from looking at him.

[Maximum Spin]

That was obviously too much ice. Any amount of ice in your eyes is too much eyes. Nevertheless, granted. The rain of kittens from KittyTac's last wish, having bounced over to you, inexplicably congeals Voltron-style into a huge kitten-monster, and your alien son falls in love with it, marries it, and has alien (grand)children with it. Congratulations, your alien son is now a furry, and your granddaughter is somehow even more horrifying to look at. On the bright side, your alien son now conceals his shame behind a paper bag. I hope you feel bad about making him do that, you know. Why couldn't you understand that he was beautiful all along (to aliens)?

I wish I would just stop writing things for the day because I have already written too much today and yet I can't seem to stop. Preferably without dying or anything similarly too obvious, though. Show some creativity.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. Your phone/keyboard breaks. Then your mom grounds you, too. Go to bed.

I wish i didnt sweat so goddamn much while working

[Gigabytebob]

Granted. you cry to much over having a dead end job you cry to much over your family telling you you never visit or call you cry to much over never finding your love you cry to much over never having kids you cry to much over realizing your going to die alone and miserable in your small cold apartment

I wish for a spooky scary skeleton buddy : D

[pikachu17]

The spooky skeleton buddy attracts a necromancer, who forces him to kill you slowly!

I wish more kittens would rain on KittyTac.