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[Derpy Dev]

Granted. The meaning of life is-

And no, saying "forty-two" is not acceptable.

Oh. Dang it. Umm...
Ooh! I got it! Life is meaningless, you realize that you are inside of a computer game like DF and the player is currently bored and trying to destroy the world. Nobody believes you.

I wish that I was capable of focusing.

[Mathel]

Granted. You can now focus light with your eye lens. Oh wait, you could do that already.

I wish that summer would last 6 months, autum 3 months, winter 1 month and spring 2 months. Average day temperatures in each season are not to change.

[Glass]

Congratulations, granted! All around the world, crops die out, with the only places staying mostly the same being the tropical and near-tropical zones. What remains of humanity and life in general is left in these regions, while sea levels continue to rise as the north and south poles swiftly begin to melt, without having enough winter to help them replenish their ice caps.

I wish that all days had 12 hours of day and 12 hours of night, rather than being the weird way they are with varying sunrise and sunset times.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, People turn nocturnal to compensate for the modified hours.

I wish that warp travel existed.

[Khan Boyzitbig]

Granted. Its The Warp complete with unspeakable horrors and dark gods, mankind goes even more mad at the thought.

I wish for swarms of martins.

[Rethi-Eli]

Wish granted. Swarms of Martins immediately descend upon the earth, making the name Martin extremely common and undesirable. A war between Martins and non-Martins soon ensues, and you're among those who fall in the crossfire.

I wish for swarms of martens.

[Derpy Dev]

Just as the Martin vs non-Martin war was coming to a close, they came. The Martens were an incredibly warlike and racist species, and all who were not named Marten were put in their death camps.

I wish for a hero to save us from the Martens.

[Ultimuh]

Granted. The Martens were undone by Steve Urkel.
He however turn out to be much worse than the Martens. Rising to power and amassed an army of nerdy Steves. Any non-Steves and non-nerdy Steves to "reeducation camps".


I wish for someone to deliver us from this Steve Urkel menace.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, The war is ended by the martin's return. A new war is sparked between non-martins and martins. The cycle continues.

I wish this cycle could somehow be related to the water cycle, besides poisoning the water.

[Derpy Dev]

Granted, The war is ended by the martin's return. A new war is sparked between non-martins and martins. The cycle continues.

I wish this cycle could somehow be related to the water cycle, besides poisoning the water.

Granted. Martens evaporate and then rain down on people below, along with the Steves and the Martens.

I wish I could un-see the madness that we have seen today in this thread.

[Mathel]

Granted. You unsee this madness by seeing even greater madness and going mad with it.

I wish that I could conjure items from temporary matter, which would disappear after 24 hours.

[Stirk]

Granted. The laws of physics mean that this matter has to come from energy and return to energy when completed. You are engulfed in the largest nuclear explosion ever after the first 24 hours.

I wish the next wish would somehow evolve penguins.

[CABL]

Granted. Penguins become super-intelligent, bloodthirsty, elephant-sized creatures, and enslave the humanity as free workforce. After 3984 human years, the Penguin race conquers our galaxy, drawing the attention of race of some insanely powerful intergalactic devourers. The Milky Way is sucked dry, from the grass on some temperate planet of Penguin Empire, to the center of the galaxy itself.

I wish that the next post will contain a geological pun.

((I think you meant "involve", not "evolve".))

[Stirk]

((Nope. Totally meant evolve. And your didn't evolve penguins with your wish, you evolved them with mine :p))

Granted. It contains the words "A geological pun", but has no actual puns geological or otherwise. This makes you so angry that you uplift penguins to act as foot-soldiers for the destruction of all mankind, leading to the previously mentioned penguinpockolipse.

((There. Saved it for you ))

I wish to never typo again.

[CABL]

Granted, but your handwriting skill worsens to the level of "dyslexic". It affects all languages you know currently, and also the languages you'll try to learn in the future.

I wish that vaporwave never existed.