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[WillowLuman]

You get fingernail clippers.

I wish we'd get to see something like the Russian meteor over on this hemisphere.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. It's an NK missile test that's gone HORRIBLY WRONG, (or RIGHT depending on who you're talking to). You get to see it really, really close up.

I wish Klebsiella pneumonia had more obvious novel virulence factors than, "Durr, it's got a big old shell that protects it! Herk."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Funny story, made due with fingernail clippers. Was like, "...meh", when I clicked refresh.

[WillowLuman]

The bacteria causes you to become a spider

To monopolize a thread
With a constant 2-way banter
Causes seeming spamming dread
And makes both our manners falter
So if GrizzlyAdamz doth reply,
Then I must give the lie.

Wish someone gets my literature reference.

[RAM]

It will be a thousand years after humanity is exterminated, but eventually a survey robot will impartially note your work as derivative and therefore unworthy of recording...

I wanna be the guy.

[WillowLuman]

You are Former Grandfather The Guy. Also, you die from fruit.

I wish to DANCE!

[My Name is Immaterial]

As you did not specify what you wanted to dance, I assume you meant Donate A Nasty Crocidle Egg.

I wish my sunglasses didn't break so easily.

[WillowLuman]

POOF! Your sunglasses are made of steel. Opaque, hard to break steel.

I wish Dwarves knew how to swim.

[melkor]

good job all the dwarf took a swim and were eaten by carps

i wish that triple a titles had the same effort put into them as bioshock infinite

[Gentlefish]

Granted. Bioshock infinite is now just as good as any triple A title.

I wish I was able to perfectly render a dragon using primitive objects.

[Remuthra]

By banging your head against a rock, you manage to engrave a sweet looking dragon on your forehead. It even breathes fire! Metallic crimson fire...

I wish for this wish to be corrupted.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted. Ed Edd n Eddy comes back online to air an episode about Ed getting power and using it for evil. It's 3 minutes long, canon & horrible.

I wish for the baseline game price to be 40$ instead of 60$.

[My Name is Immaterial]

Granted. Game quality is reduced by 1/3.

I wish people were less irritating.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Game quality is reduced by 1/3.

I wish people were less irritating.

Granted. Everyone is now their body weight in aloe vera. Including you.

I wish for Xcom to have a crossover with Doctor Who.

[Remuthra]

It's a pretty good FPS.

I wish for you to tell me what 0/0 is.

[WillowLuman]

It's a pretty good FPS.

  Aha! Partial success!