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[RAM]

You use your superphone powers for Evil and they are removed. You then return in a later series but are just a middle-aged delinquent in a telephone-themed outfit...

I wish for the ability to throw pandas at each other and have them combine into more powerful pandas.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

You use your superphone powers for Evil and they are removed. You then return in a later series but are just a middle-aged delinquent in a telephone-themed outfit...

I wish for the ability to throw pandas at each other and have them combine into more powerful pandas.

Granted, but doing so causes irreversible damage to your nerves.

I wish humans found 100 sources of infinite energy, but only at a slow rate of (maximum) production, and in a shape/form that we can work with and handle safely & with ease. ~the combined total output equaling the amount of sunshine that falls on the earth at any one moment.

[RAM]

Limited resources + economics = frowny face...

I wish humans found 100 sources of infinite energy, but only at a slow rate of (maximum) production, and in a shape/form that we can work with and handle safely & with ease. ~the combined total output equaling the amount of sunshine that falls on the earth at any one moment.

[Komra]

I wish for equal skill on PC FPS games to that of my current skill at PS3 FPS games.

[Remuthra]

Granted. You spontaneously combust from the sheer skill, due to the fact that PC FPSs are infinitely better than console FPSs just from a technical standpoint.

I wish for the epitome of a sandwich. The sandwich must be immediately accessible, perfect (it is the epitome of sandwiches), and edible by me.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Granted, but most unfortunately, due to your excessive sandwich-eating lifestyle, before you can raise the sandwich to your mouth you suffer a stroke and lose most sensation of taste & smell.
-That or the sandwich, due to the sheer amount of awesome packed into it, is too dense to lift. It sits and taunts you, heavy as Thor's hammer. You can only eat it 1 sand-grain piece at a time, lest you damage your teeth.

I wish my natural ability to break down my own fat during routine blood sugar homeostasis was exactly 10% more efficient.

[RAM]

Granted, it requires 10% fewer resources.

I wish that me previous post had been correctly interpreted as a non-post and so resulted in the previous poster's wish being granted.

[Komra]

Granted. A small rift in time and space destroys exactly 2% of the universe, one portion thereof being your current location.

I wish for the ability to make any computerized device compatible with any other.

[Remuthra]

Granted. All the devices combine into a malevolent entity which destroys the universe.

I wish I could eat my still perfect sandwich properly.

[Vgray]

Granted. You get a set of Adamantine teeth.

And then you realize no sandwich you eat again will ever be that perfect...

I wish for a Stargate. With an iris.

[RAM]

It is fun until, between the random worm-hole failures and a razor-sharp Iris, you run out of limbs. It would have been extra-nice if the one time that you made it through that you hadn't picked up all those exciting parasites and pathogens...

I wish to be a genie.

[Chink]

You become a genie. You spend the rest of your immortal life cramped inside of a lamp.

I wish for bacon.

[Komra]

Granted. Bacon continues to exist, however, you don't get any.

I wish to own a true-replica, battle ready Roman Gladius.

[wer6]

The bacon is made out of tofu BLOODY NINJA'S

Granted: however inorder too get it you must pass through 600 Roman galdiators with only your fists.

I wish for A cookie.

[Aseaheru]

Its poisoned.

I wish for a B.O.A.T.