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[The Merchant Of Menace]

Granted, he starts farting instead

I wish for some pie

[Fniff]

The pie, instead of crust, has man eating spiders. And the jelly is replaced with maggots.

I wish no-one disliked furries for being a furry.

[The Merchant Of Menace]

Granted, they instead dislike them for breathing

I wish I could find my keys

[Darvi]

Granted. They're hot, though. *badum-tish*

I wish I had some food that wasn't pasta :V

[Fniff]

You decide to eat some cyanide lased asbestos.

I wish the threads I posted on would update already...

[The Merchant Of Menace]

Granted, adbots galore

I wish I could figure out something to wish for without thinking forever about it

[Darvi]

Granted. Somebody ninjas you though and posts it before you.

I wish I had some cheezcake.

[Vorthon]

Granted. You get one teaspoonful of cheesecake.

I wish I could come up with more deities for my latest fantasy worldbuilding project.

[Darvi]

Ooh, better than nothing I guess.

Granted, but they all turn against ya.

I wish people would stop asking me whether I had a girlfriend or not.

[Fniff]

Granted. They ask you if you have a boyfriend or not.

I wish adbots became so life-like they stopped spouting ads and became normal internet posters.

[Taricus]

Granted. They now conquer the internet!

I wish I could perform neurosurgery on myself.

[The Merchant Of Menace]

Granted, you can, just not particularly well

I wish *null*

[Fniff]

Granted. You wanted infinite amounts of poison in your body, right?

I wish for infinite internet for free.

[Darvi]

Granted. You get arrested for stealing teh interwebz.

Granted. They ask you if you have a boyfriend or not.

Ya I wish they'd stop that too.

[The Merchant Of Menace]

Granted, they ask you have your spores touched anyone lately

I wish I was an onion