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[Vorthon]

Granted, but it's at 1:10 scale.

I wish I had Aerokinesis.

[lordnincompoop]

Granted. Your powers are limited to creating small breezes though; not even enough to move some dust.

I wish my grades will come out awesome.

[vadia]

Granted. Your powers are limited to creating small breezes though; not even enough to move some dust.

I wish my grades will come out awesome.

granted instead of an a-f scale it's now a-w scale and you get a w e s o m and e on your finals respectively.  The w s o and m grades, needless to say are failing scores, but congrats on your one a and 2 e's

I wish I had a job

[dwarfguy2]

You now have the book of Job. Wow, religious literature!

I wish for a chocolate cake.

[lordnincompoop]

Granted. You get a slice of mine, but it got mouldy during transit.

I wish for a ruler.

[Vorthon]

Granted, but because you weren't more specific you get a ruler (the mathematical kind) wearing a crown and a name tag reading 'king ruler'

I wish I had demi-god level geokinesis

[Comrade_Fregge]

Granted, but...

I wish you dont.

[lordnincompoop]

Granted. He's omnipotent and omniscient instead.

I wish for more of this curry.

[Keita]

Granted, but you die from OD'ing on curry.

I wish that DF was imported to every computer in the world every where so I could play it no matter what PC I used.

[dwarfguy2]

It turns out to be DF: My Little Pony edition.

I wish that I had been born in Japan, with a disease that causes me to be born 16 years old and look like an anime character, shared only with a crazy hobo living on some undiscovered island in the pacific.

[Vorthon]

Granted, but as unfortunate side-effect, you can only speak while standing on your head during a full moon and balancing a stack of teacups on each foot

I wish I could warp reality at will.

[Zephyr]

granted but at first attempt you fall out of existance

i wish i was worshiped "All hail the wonders of Zephyrism!!"

[Nirur Torir]

Granted. It's by a suicide cult. They expect you to lead the punch-drinking ceremony at the first meeting you attend.

I was Candlejack didn't exist in thi

[dwarfguy2]

He no longer exists in the far-off world of thi.

I wish that I had an army of faithful waddle doo servants, who would not rebel or leave.

[dragnar]

Granted. They aren't good for much though, what with the lack of thumbs of muscle. They annoy people slightly when they bump into them though.

I wish I had kirby's copy powers.