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[Alternatecash]

Your wish is uncorrupted, and granted! However, being omnipotent, you lose all interest in the mortal plane, retiring to play the Games of Divinity in the heavenly city of Yu-Shan.

I wish for the ability to stab people in the face over a standard internet connection.

[Ultimuh]

Granted you- *KSSSSSSSSSSH*   (static noise)
"THE WISH IS IRRELEVANT. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE."


I WISH TO ASSIMILATE!

[Phantom of The Library]

Granted, but your fellow collectivists never accept you and you are banished.

I wish I had some hot tea

[Sirus]

Granted. It scalds your toungue and you permanently lose your sense of taste.

I wish my entire box of chocolates was good stuff.

[Chaos Armor]

Granted, but since what's good is a matter of opinion you get the cowpie flavored box.

I wish that the dwarves were responsible for the construction of the 'New Years Ball"

[Sirus]

Granted, but since what's good is a matter of opinion you get the cowpie flavored box.

I wish that the dwarves were responsible for the construction of the 'New Years Ball"

Granted. Dozens fall to their doom during construction, and just as the ball starts to drop a dwarf tantrums and knocks away the single supporting pillar.

I wish I could discover and patent a limitless clean source of energy.

[DinosaurusRex_x]

Granted, its your life-force though.

I wish I could find my cellphone charger. 

[SirAaronIII]

You find it. It's broken.

I wish my sister wouldn't take such long showers.

[fergus]

Granted! Now there even longer.

I wish for a time machine.

[Sirus]

Granted, but then you accidentally wipe yourself from existance.

I wish I could manipulate inanimate objects with my mind.

[SirAaronIII]

You can, but you can only make things jiggle a little bit. It still counts as manipulation though!

I wish I had the mad artz skillz, yo.

[Loud Whispers]

You sadly don't get the skillz. As a minor consolation, you do go mad though.

I wish I could see Reddish Green without having to stare cross eyed

[fergus]

Granted! You go insane from all the colours beyond description.

I wish for greenish red paint.

[Loud Whispers]

Yu gets teh paints.

But only I can sees it! UHUHUHUHUHUHUH

I wish I knew the difference between the red pill and the blue pill. DAMN YOU MORPHEUS!!!

[Time Blossom]

Granted.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

There is no difference. They're both LSD.

I wish for Star Ruler to be as awesome as I'm hoping for, once I get back to my desktop and get it installed.