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[Impending Doom]

Granted, you beat Nethack. You become a world Nethack champion, playing and then beating every version of Nethack ever released. Finally, you attempt to play Soviet Nethack, which proceeds to beat YOU.

I wish we had the money/resources to convince Todd McFarlane to make some Dwarf Fortress action figures.  

[Duke 2.0]

Granted. In fact, he DOES make those figurines. Sure the may just be older dwarf models with a few minor tweaks, but the fact is you have a figurine named Urist McDwarf!

Of course, when you reach for your wallet to purchase the figurines, you find something odd on the workshop table.

You: Wait, it that...
Todd McFarlane: Oh, that? It's just a figurine of a-
You: CARP!

Then the carp figurine proceeds to rip apart all the figurines. Thus you are left with a little plastic carp.

I wish for a little plastic carp.

[ May 19, 2008: Message edited by: Duke 2.0 ]

[Cthulhu]

Granted, you're taking it home and you trip, and it falls into a storm drain.

I wish this wish didn't come true.

[SHAD0Wdump]

Granted,it didn't come true,it HAS come true...
Also due to your laziness in making wishes you are slapped with 1100 textbooks and a grain of salt.HAH!

I wish for better non frosty weather that turns the soil into a very nutritious plant growing... soil.

[Helmaroc]

Granted, but it's so hot outside if you tried to plant anything your blood would literally boil.

I wish for more people to write in Zustashiger, but not totally destroy everything. *cough*

[Cthulhu]

Granted, they destroy everything but grammar.

I wish Toady would close this thread.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. Toady closes the thread after it reaches 1001 pages.

I wish for this wish to be corrupted.

[Cthulhu]

Granted.  It gives you syphilis.

I wish

[Duke 2.0]

Granted. You get a !!Large .!!

I wish this forum never gets corrupted.

[Okenido]

Granted but it gets shut down instead.

I wish that the dwarves would come and trade with my human fortress.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. They bring nothing but ≡Cinnabar Mugs≡ and xxPig Tail Mittensxx.

I wish I knew hoe to mine for fishs

[Helmaroc]

Granted, you know how to mine for fishes with a hoe. But farmer Brown takes it back, and you forget how to do it.

I wish for the word 'whit' to be illegal.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

WHTF IZ RONG WHIT U!>
Granted, and retroactively too. But because you just used it, you go to jail. The law is repealed a few minutes later, but you're forgotten in a Russian gulag for the rest of your life. And it turns out nobody else was even arrested for it.

I wish people on craigslist would stop pimping their realdolls.

[Cthulhu]

Granted, they start dolling their realpimps.

I wish my guy in ToME hadn't died.  It was a stupid death.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. But instead of dying in a stupid death he lives forever doing boring things like helping Farmer Maggot plant his po-tay-toes!

I wish for po-tay-toes.