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[Cthulhu]

Granted, you boil'em mash'em stick-em-in-a-stew!

I wish this link gave me a million dollars.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Since you worked so hard to cleverly disguise the target of that link, I won't click it. Hah!

Granted. The link gives you one million Zimbabwe dollars (which are in total worth about 2832 US dollars). They deliver said one million dollars by airdrop on your house or car (or some other prized posession if you have neither). One million dollars weighs 2200 pounds (they deliver in singles, of course). The damage will cost 8,496 US dollars to fix if you do the work yourself and get materials as cheaply as possible.

But you have to pay taxes, shipping fees, and currency exchange fees on the money as well. The shipping fee is 7,652.55 USD. The exchange fee is about 2%. Finally, I don't know where you live so the taxes involved might be different - but around 10% wouldn't be unimaginable. So you actually come away with about $2500 USD worth of cash and a debt of about $16,000 USD.

Finally, a Zimbabwean druglord from whom the money was stolen places a million-dollar hit on you (again, Zimbabwe currency, but it's enough).

EDIT: forgot my wish!

I wish I hadn't spent 20 minutes corrupting your last wish.

[ May 23, 2008: Message edited by: LeoLeonardoIII ]

[Cthulhu]

Granted, you spent 30.

I wish I were you, so you'd be me, and the druglord would kill you.

[Helmaroc]

Granted, but my life is FAR worse than death.

I wish for a loss of grass to strike the world. And plump helmets grew instead.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. But they're all penis-shaped and they haunt your dreams forever.

I can say penis, right? Awesome.

I wish for less censorship (I live in the US).

[Cthulhu]

Granted, anyone can do whatever they want, as long as they're "Expressing themselves".

A man kills you and bakes you into a festive Christmas cake.

I wish for a truckload of fail.

[Duke 2.0]

Granted

I wish I had bear-calvary. TAME bear calvary.

[Armok]

Granted, it killed before it was tamed so it atacks you, and kills you in horible agony.

I wish for power worthy the name of Armok!

[Kagus]

Dammit dude, you should've made some comment about a bear-messiah dying on the cross.

EDIT:  A censored version, so it's TAME enough for the kiddies.

[ May 26, 2008: Message edited by: Kagus ]

[Cthulhu]

Seriously, this is why we need more religious education.  To improve forum games.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. You receive said power but the DM decides to start a new campaign. You never play that character again.

I wish they would stop putting codes under the soda caps, and just tell you what, if anything, you won right then and there.

[Cthulhu]

Granted.  You win nothing.

[SHAD0Wdump]

Granted,all soda cans are replaced by demonic soda cans that can speak what you have won to you,but they also have this bad habit of eating people...
And their contents are extremely acidic...
And they now have sharp corners...
Yeah... Good going...

I wish for a Private Lear Jet  

EDIT:SHAZBOT!!!! Beat again!!!

Cthulhu,I find your lack of wish... disturbing.

[ May 27, 2008: Message edited by: SHAD0Wdump ]

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. You receive a lear jet that looks exactly like your privates. Everyone can see it all the time. But it runs on a fuel which you cannot afford. And it's valueless because nobody would ever want to buy it.

Plus it's broken or something.

I wish for contentment

[Greiger]

Your wish is granted, you receive one contentment pillow.  However in order to get to you quickly it traveled through the elemental plane of fire and burns your bed and home down in minutes.

I wish for a cute and cuddly pet dragon, and a lifetime supply of Acme Dragon chow.