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[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted, but a wormhole opens up because of your convoluted spelling and sucks the end of your "sentance" away into the void - along with your Favorite Item!

D:|

[Huesoo]

Granted you dont get shived in jail but instead get anally raped by a large african american man. You now have size 11 asshole.

I wish I didnt have so many The Stand references.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. M-O-O-N that spells Stand References!

I wish they'd make a Dark Tower movie series like they did with the Stand.

[Huesoo]

Granted its shit just like I predicted.

I wish Allen didnt die.

[Diablous]

Granted. Now he is a zombie.

I wish I was braver.

[stonemt]

granted. you are now brave enough to charge the recently zombified being (allen?) with your bare hands... you will not be missed.

i wish for a fish on a dish

[Diablous]

Granted. It is carp. It is alive. The place floods with water. You are killed.

I wish prejudice did not exist.

[Deon]

Granted. But then all churches are turned into jails and you're there because you knocked on a wood.

I will all women had D+ cup.

[Diablous]

Granted.  Now all women have breasts so big that they can't move! Including young girls! And newborns!

I wish I had more motivation.

[Tradanbattlan]

Granted. You now feel as if you can do anything!
...If there was anything to do.

I wish that Micheal Jackson was alive. Not un-alive, not un-dead.
Alive.

[tombthedwarf]

Granted: after the brief shock of him rising from the dead he fades into obscurity within six months, and until there is another molestation charge followed soon by a drug overdose: the king of pop is dead again

I wish I could punch people over the internet

[Diablous]

Granted. But it works both ways. And with guns and knives. You are shot over the internet.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted, but you forget it immediately, and plus you blew your one wish on that. The Devil laughs, and laughs. He laughs so hard tears come out.

The tears are made of blood and oil.

I wish oil and water would mix, and not just in an emulsion, but a solution!

[Huesoo]

Granted after making the solution work you get drunk to celebrate. You come home tired and thirsty after god knows what, your beer goggles blur your vision and you see the solution, thinking its water you drink it and die of poisioning.

I wish I were better at knife throwing at Modern Warfare 2 without people thinking I was hacking.

[tombthedwarf]

Granted: but infinity-ward removes the thrown knife weapon the instant you gain that skill

I wish that I had been heavily armored when I was shot over the interwebz