Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Dunamisdeos]

Granted. You shall be tied to a chair and made to watch THEODORE REX back to back. to back. to back. to back. to ak. t bk. acb. acbk cbk,..asfj56m+

I wish for a ride on a brontosaurus.

[Mathel]

Granted. You are teleported 153 000 000 years to the past, right onto a brontosaurus.

I wish for DnD 5.E magic to be real.

[wierd]

Granted.  However, in order to grant your wish, the D&D pantheon had to be wished into existence as well. Enjoy your dark gods.

I wish people would STOP bringing their kids to work, (and subsequently, STOP infecting the residents with influenza and pals.)

[KittyTac]

Granted. People stop bringing their kids to work, because their kids suddenly die.

I wish for kittens.

[King Zultan]

Granted, you give birth to a healthy litter of kittens, doctors find this very interesting and hold you for observation for several years and take away your kittens.

I wish for a army of zebras that isn't scared of anything.

[Mathel]

Granted. Your army of zebras is still zebras. They do not understand your orders. Soon, they just break up into herds and wander away. Most of them are easily caught by animal rescue, but some manage to get killed before that, because they do not avoid danger. (Such as cars, or carnivores that may live in your area.)

I wish for an army of chimpanzees loyal to me.

[pikachu17]

They get drunk and accidentally kill you. They regret it later.

I wish I could feel the positive effects of alcohol, but not the negative.

[scourge728]

Granted, but you feel them all the time, and since some people consider one of the positive effects to be reduced mental faculties, you have that all the time, and since you don't lose coordination or fail a breathalyzer test, people just think you're stupid

I wish for world peace

[Dunamisdeos]

*Wish Genie flips through his playbook*

Ah, yes, got it. Says here the classic response is.... Ok, yeah, everyone is dead. Peace on Earth achieved.

I wish for world pizza.

[Imic]

Granted. The world turns inti a giant pizza. Due to the displacement of gravity, everyone on the edges of the pizza falls towards the centre, killing 90% of the population. Due to the lack of water, all remaining animal life is dead within a few weeks, quickened in pace by the atmosphere being displaced, the magnetic field being displaced, and the corners of the pizza slowky collapsing into the centre. Future aliens use the Planet Earth as a tourist attraction and for scientific research because they have no idea what the fuck is up with the tiny rotting ball of carbon in the middle of space for no reason.

I wish I could dictate my afterlife with complete freedom as to my choices, without consequences.

[Dunamisdeos]

You are given complete and utter freedom of choice. However, with an utter lack of consequence, your choices have no practical effect. You are presented with multiple choice after choice after choice, leading nowhere but to additional infinitesimally detailed choices, into infinity.

I wish for just a single normal slice of pizza this time.

[Enemy post]

Granted, but it's in a pizza restaurant so you have to buy it.

I wish KittyTac had his kittens back.

[Eric Blank]

Granted, but they no longer love him, and they seek to assassinate you.

I wish for a 3d printer that can print living tissue, successfully creating, alive and active (or not, incase i want to know what mammoth tastes like), any concievable organism real or imagined, flora or fauna, with no weight or volume restrictions, a complete bestiary including species that have gone extinct since 10,000 BC, with behavior programming allowing them to be as tame as the most innocent puppy forever. And it has to run on a 12v/300w power supply.

Because Dodos might make good domestic stock, you never know.

[King Zultan]

Granted, you get it but in order to print living tissue you need to put double the amount of living tissue into it, so if you want a mammoth you would have to put in two elephants or dozens of humans.

I wish for the ability to turn into a talking zebra.

[Mathel]

Granted. You do not have the ability to turn into a human though.
You are caught by animal rescue, and when you try to explain that you are actually a human, they send you to a secret government facility, where they experiment on you for the rest of your life.

I wish for a zebra riding kitten.