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[scourge728]

granted, you get a zebra riding a kitten, you can probably guess what happens to the kitten
I wish for memes

[Puppyguard]

Granted, you can instantly recall any ancient memes from the early 2000's, but only the bad ones.

I wish for a delicious pizza.

[pisskop]

Granted, the finest Hawaiian pizza is delivered to you, three days old.


I wish for a yoga mat.

[TD1]

Granted, though for some reason it's in Brazil.

I wish for inspiration.

[King Zultan]

Granted, after a bit of thought the genie decides to inspire you with visions of cosmic horror and other unimaginable horrors.

I wish for five thousand Tahiti condos.

[Mathel]

Granted. You get 5000 condos, where people from Project T.A.H.I.T.I resided. All the condos have weird maps carves everywhere.

I wish for a power gauntlet that causes mass distraction.

[drilltooth]

Granted. However, it is only effective within the Archbasilica of St. John Lateran.

I wish for a hundred kitten-sized zebras

[WillowLuman]

Granted. They graze on your carpet until nothing is left.

I wish for a job where the shifts are longer at the start of the week but get shorter as the week goes, so that it feels like it gets easier.

[wierd]

Granted. You get seasonal work at Walmart, only to get fired after the 3rd day. Also, your manager was a total douche.

I wish I could learn to get my sorry evil genie ass to sleep on the last days of my weekends, so that I am not a sleep deprived zombie at the start of the week.

[King Zultan]

Granted, you now get a good nights sleep every time you eat human flesh, as you're now a zombie.

I wish for a cat sized zebra.

[TD1]

Granted, after a bit of thought the genie decides to inspire you with visions of cosmic horror and other unimaginable horrors.

So that's what happened to Lovecraft.

Granted, you now get a good nights sleep every time you eat human flesh, as you're now a zombie.

I wish for a cat sized zebra.

Granted. But oh no! A young girl mistakes it for a robotic teddy bear and steals it. Also, for some reason, the zebra has a taste for flesh. Who knew that more than a cat's size would be transferred, huh?

I wish for recognition and acclaim.

[Mathel]

Granted. You get recognised as the author of the true eldrich abomination summoning guide. Posthumously, as you accidentaly summon one and get eaten.

I wish for a demon-slaying dog.

[pikachu17]

You were secretly a demon. Found that out when the dog killed you.

I wish that life was a musical.

[Imic]

Granted: you spend every moment of every waking day of your life surrpunded by pther people, either mid-song, or transitioning to another one, until you die of exhaustion.

I wish I could draw.

[Kagus]

Granted, you draw. A shot rings out, and the young man in front of you falls to the dirt while still clutching at his holster. You've lost count of how many came before him and challenged you, and this one's memory will be lost when so many more young hopefuls come looking for your gun and the chance to prove themselves.

This is what your life has become; one draw after another. You either do what you're best at and end another boy's life, or you're the one who ends up on the undertaker's pallet. You know that someday your skin will wrinkle and your reflexes will slow, and someday your best will simply not be enough... But that day is not today. Thankfully, it is not today. Sadly, it is not today.



I wish it didn't hurt all the time.