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[King Zultan]

Granted, everything is now kittens.

I wish for four thousand dollars.

[KittyTac]

The dollars are kittens.

I wish for MORE KITTENS.

[Mathel]

Granted.
Mathel@Bay12 / $ more kittens.txt

I wish for to remove said kittens.

[MrLurkety]

Granted. Nothing exists anymore and if there was anything to view it, you would be viewed as a monster.

I wish for more nesting statements.

[Dunamisdeos]

Granted! Unfortunately the first example is linked to the action of making a forum post on Bay12. It immediately launches the secret Bay12 nuclear arsenal.

I wish for more post it notes. We are almost out.

[King Zultan]

Granted, now you never run out of Post-it Notes, because everything you touch turns into Post-it Notes.

I wish to be very faraway from, Dunamisdeos. 

[Rockeater]

Granted, you are in the space between galaxies, really far from Dunamisdeos, but you die from the lack of air.

I wish for a glass of water.

[Mathel]

Granted. You get a glass full of water from the Dead Sea.

I wish for Dunamisdeos to have clothing, including gloves, made out of Post-it notes.

[pikachu17]

Granted. He touches you and you turn into Post-it notes. Then he turns your Post-it note self into festive clothing.

I wish I was immune to being turned into a Post-it note. Also, that every Post-it note I touched turned into whatever I wanted.

[Dunamisdeos]

I AM POST-OCALYPSE, THE GOD OF THIS WORLD. I THROW MYSELF INTO A LARGE VOLCANO, IMMEDIATELY TURNING THE ENTIRETY OF THE MOLTEN MANTLE OF THE EARTH INTO LOOSE POST IT NOTES.

Anyway, Post-ocalypse grants your wish before doing that. Presumably most life on the planet dies instantly from the ridiculous geological aftereffects as not only is the liquid support structure for our planetary crust gone, but the post it notes themselves violently combust en-masse from the heat of the untouched core.

I wish to reappear unharmed in an airtight, comically oversized evil moon citadel made of post it notes with full indefinite life support also made of post it notes.

[King Zultan]

I AM POST-OCALYPSE, THE GOD OF THIS WORLD.

Oh god, what have I done.

Granted, but you can't live in your evil moon citadel because the life support system being made of post-it notes doesn't work.

I wish that I was far away from Dunamisdeos in a place I wouldn't die in.

[Mathel]

Granted. You are now Ash's Pikachu. You are immortal, but your level fluctuates wildly. And you are forced to fight.

I wish for the festive clothing, which is me to pile up on one pile on an M class planet, which does not have Dunamisdeos, then turn back into my human form correctly for me to live afterwards.

[scourge728]

Granted, but you get teleported back to Earth later

I wish for memes

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted
You get memes that popular during the 1000-1400's era

I wish for something to not happen when I don't need it and/or don't want it to happen

[Cadeyrn Heffernan]

Granted, but since that is the natural state of things- To happen when you don't want them happening, nothing happens.