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[RAM]

Noun

the bird (uncountable)

   1. The vulgar hand gesture in which the middle finger is extended.

"of bird" phrasing = substance, thus mitigating singular indicators, you received two units of "bird", or two instances of "The Bird", as per your Genie's interpretation, which is bad at fingers. It corrects its mistake by locking all of your fingers into the the specified alignment.

I wish to write an epic.

[King Zultan]

Granted, you write it, but it's epic in the fact that it's epicly long, so long that no one ever wants to read it.

I wish to see the biggest ball of twine.

[Mathel]

Granted. You see it envelop your house.

I wish for RAMs and HugoLumans middle fingers get stuck extended as well, seeing as the gesture is with them, rather than index fingers.

[Lunardog15]

seams like you FUCKED up

I WISH FOR YOU PUNY MORTALS TO MAKE PUNS
edit: sorry that was my cat

[Mathel]

Do you mean punny mortals? They shall punish you with impunity.

I wish that Lunardog15 gets catapulted by his cat for shouting.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, they land on you.

I wish I could type without using my nose. Damn locked fingers...

[Leodanny]

Granted. You now type with your ass

I wish I could have another wish

[pikachu17]

You get the wish of "I wish I, Leodanny, exploded painfully next to Vladimir Putin". You use the wish.

I wish I could see Leodanny exploding, without getting hurt.

[Rockeater]

Granted, Leodanny explode in an expolsion the size of hydrogen bomb in your home town, you are alive and well with the magic that was done on you, but all your friends and family not, everyone you cared about is dead now.

I wish to be able to do magic

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You are now a pixie.

I wish for MAXIMUM POWER

[pikachu17]

You are Saitama.

I wish I had a swordgun.

[deathpunch578]

granted, but you get the real swordgun which is 6 inches long. it is also a flintlock pistol

I wish there were no ants in my room

[Dunamisdeos]

Granted. The ants are relocated to your ears.

I wish there were no ants anywhere.

[Eschar]

I don't think the ecosystem would handle that well.

I wish for a more satisfactory Lost season 6.

[RAM]

Six hours of a "signal static" background with "satisfactory" written over it in bold letters. People swear that there are subliminal messages hidden in it, but they refuse to reveal details, prompting most to assume that they are just trolls trying to trick people into watching the whole thing.

I wish to be an all-powerful wish-granting genie.