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[jaxy15]

Granted. They're evil bloodthirstry penguins. They eat your eyes.

I wish for yhjuyuukmmmmmmmmm

[tuypo1]

granted but because its nonsense a 3d printer gets fed the information and the result is drooped on your head its heavy

i wish to win my duel against beneviento in \legends/ simple freeform wild west rpg

[Roc CURIOUSBEAST_EATER]

Granted,
You get something that's completely non-existent.
But you will lose the next 1000 battles

I wish for the corrupter of this wish to get the blind forever with no cure

[tuypo1]

granted but i get all my other senses updated massivly

i wish my mother was a better parent

[hops]

Granted. Your mother is a helicopter parent who controls your life for your own good.

I wish for vaguely phallic objects.

[tuypo1]

granted but you get actual penises there only vague because they were in a terrible accident (im not sure wether to make the goldmember joke or not)

i wish i was less vulgar

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, your fingers are cut off.

I wish for piranhas to eat those who post without capitals and punctuation.

[tuypo1]

granted they (including me but that also means lsp) come back as a ghost to haunt you with a lack of capitals and punctuation

i wish i had somebody in my family that was at my level of inteligence

[Comrade Shamrock]

Granted, it is your fourth cousin twice removed that lives on the other side of the planet.

I wish Tuypo remembered to wish her wishes and didn't edit them in.

[Tawa]

Granted. (S)he (?) always wishes for the exact same thing.

I wish that tuypo1 hadn't randomly created a spammy 'conga line thread'.

[Lyeos]

Granted, he created twenty of them.

I wish for tuypo1's shoes to be filled with tapioca.

[KingofstarrySkies]

Granted, he mails them to you.

I wish for August.

[flabort]

Granted. You experience the whole month of August for every day each other person experiences. It's like Groundhog Day, but with Time Dilation too!

I wish I knew the right questions.

[tuypo1]

granted but the questions make people uncomftorble and they ignore you

I wish people hadent thought of my conga line thread as spam

[lemon10]

Granted. You never make a congo line thread for people to have thought of as spam.

I wish I had a can of tasty spam.