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[WillowLuman]

Granted. You're trapped in my parent's house.
Granted. Already happened due to Kevak's wish making everyone cats.

I wish for time to draw.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. You gain one second of drawing time.

I wish I was Black Mage from 8-bit Theater.

[TD1]

Granted. You get rejected by White Mage.

I wish that I had a son.

[blazing glory]

Granted, he is forever 4 years old,old enough to walk but young enough to not care about your house,you never get any sleep and you shoot yourself 20 years later.

I wish I had another arm.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. It's on the back of your knee, preventing you from bending that leg much.

I wish for a bedside table.

[RAM]

Turns out the the side of a bed is a pretty poor material from which to build a table. It ends up being too small and awkwardly-shaped to be of much value, and your bed is now at such a slant that you roll off...

I wish for the gift of the gab.

[Tawa]

Granted. The genie misheard you and gave you the "Gift of the GAtsBy". Enjoy.

I wish for more ice cream.

[Shoruke]

Granted. All of it is in terrible flavors like mildew and tree bark.

I wish for a free TV stand.

[WillowLuman]

You get the side of my bed.

I wish YouTube would fix itself.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. Youtube is fixed, but people still complain in immense amounts. This time, Bob and his army win.

I wish to live in the locations of my choice, in a physically healthy, uninjured, and apparently normal version of my current body containing my current mental state, a body which will heal from all injuries at a rate three sigmas faster than the average given the medical technology available to me, and which will be protected from any diseases, injuries or illnesses causing disability, pain, or degraded functionality or any sense, organ, or bodily function for more than ten days consecutively or fifteen days in any year; at any time I may rejuvenate my body to a younger age, by saying a phrase matching this pattern five times without interruption, and with conscious intent: 'I wish to be age,’ followed by a number between one and two hundred, followed by ‘years old,’ at which point the pattern ends - after saying a phrase matching that pattern, my body will revert to an age matching the number of years I started and I will commence to age normally from that stage, with all of my memories intact; at any time I may die, by saying five times without interruption, and with conscious intent, 'I wish to be dead’; the terms 'year' and 'day' in this wish shall be interpreted as the ISO standard definitions of the Earth year and day as of 2006. I may still interact with people, and they will not die during, after, or right before our interaction.

((I fix'd for the previous corruption.))

[TD1]

Granted. Civilization crumbles to ruin because you used up all resources in your wish.

I wish I was the best singer ever heard.

[blazing glory]

Someone farts instead.

Granted, your deaf.

I wish Worldmaster27 didn't make a overly long wish.

[WillowLuman]

NINJEDIT: DAMNIT I had a good one but I just deleted it so he can't account for it next time.
NINJEDIT 2: DOUBLE DAMNIT
You are the best singer ever heard by the simple, tiny creatures of the deep ocean floor.
Granted he wished in plain, short, incorruptible terms for your painful death.

I wish for collectible phylacteries.

[TD1]

Granted. Instead, he makes a long post that was just as long as it is meant to be, which is ten pages. Not overly long, though, because it was the amount it had to be.
Granted. They all contain curses.

I wish I could die only when I wanted to, that I had a constant supply of nourishment, could not age or be hurt and lived where I wished to. I also wish for constant companions of my choice.

((See, wasn't that shorter, world? ))

[Worldmaster27]

Granted, but only on the condition that you live on Mars, as it is now, for two hours. Without a spacesuit.

I wish that all wishes had to be upwards of four sentences.
((No. Not long enough.))