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[TD1]

Granted. You are now Gandalf, up a potato tree with Worgs all around. There is only one way to corrupt a wish that turns you into Gandalf. Your beard catches fire from the !!Potatoes!! Also, as a side note, an annoying diminutive figure keeps coming up to you and saying po-ta-to. Po-ta-to.

I wish to be a mix of Maximum Zero and Samwise Gamgee.

[Tawa]

Granted. You have that one dream linked to in Zero's sig, except the potato kills you due to a lifelong phobia of potatoes Samwise has but doesn't like to talk about. It's also the reason he only "tends" the potato gardens at Bag End when Frodo's looking the other way; he also actually pays Pippin to do it.

I wish for a d4.

[Eric Blank]

Granted, but the sides are unlabelled. It is also made of a material that prevents you from labeling any of the sides.

I wish for the ability to pause and resume time for all the world but myself and the objects I interact with through my hands.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. But every object you interact with wants to kill you.

I wish everyone was my friend.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. This lasts for all of 5 minutes, lasting just long enough for 3 serial killers to approach you.

I wish I controlled Time.

[~Neri]

Granted, you are now Dave Strider from an offshoot timeline. Jack Noir just stabbed you several times in the chest, you are now dead.

I wish that wishes were wishes.

[WillowLuman]

Granted, but other people get Space, Matter, and Energy.
Granted. Nothing happens.

I wish for more q-tips.

[TD1]

Granted. Every time someone gives you a tip, they must involve the letter q in some way.

I wish that I was incorruptible.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You are a 30 issue comic by Mark Waid.

I wish for Great Lightning Spear. Be creative.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Granted. You are struck through the chest by a spear looking thing made of lightning.. The last thing you see is a pair of red eyes.

I wish someone got that reference.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. Someone took that reference from you.

I wish robots were not evil.

[TD1]

Granted. Instead, man is.

I wish to be exempt from this thread, and as such be unaffected by its decisions.

[blazing glory]

Granted, robots are useless.

Granted, you never existed so you are unaffected.

I wish scientist's wouldn't give buzz saws and lasers and everything else to the robots for no good reason.

[TD1]

Granted. They give them for good reason. Mass murder.

I wish that dogs and cats could coexist.

[Worldmaster27]

Granted. Unhindered by their canine foes, cats take over the world.

I wish cats would take over the world.