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[pisskop]

Granted.  Incidently, you are now the lead in a new movie titled 'Cujo's Revenge'.

I wish the vending machine down the hall from my department's office didn't just eat my money.

[wer6]

granted it also eat your hand

i wish i rule the elfs because  i like to rule elfs

[Cassandra]

Granted. But you order them to chop down trees, so they just roast, butcher, and eat you. Yummy!

I wish elves weren't cannibals!

[GreatWyrmGold]

Granted. They instead eat only plants...and due to their potential immortality, there's enough of them that switching every elf to a vegan diet causes oxygen shortages.

I wish I was alive and didn't need to breathe.

[Cassandra]

Granted. But you've just been locked into a lead cage, and shot to the moon after Science discovered your amazing properties, and sent you to colonize. You later starve, because why you don't need to breath, apparently your food did.

[wer6]

as you didnt wish for somthing you forfitted your wish

i wish elf's worshipped me as the god of wealth and leadership.

[Cassandra]

Granted. They do, and sacrifice you so you may be released from your mortal coil, cut you apart, and devour you for enlightenment.

I wish I had a single, priceless emerald on the ground infront of me.

[pisskop]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Granted, they attempt to ingrain you into their land, trees, and air by cremating you and spreading your ashes.  With love and reverence, of course.

Granted, you find an emerald in front of you.  In your excitement you squel so loud you attract a crowd.  An outright fight ensues.

I wish my sociology teacher would accept all my arguements against his pet project, not just the more easily refutable.

[wer6]

 i will do both

your sociology accepts your n arguments by burning you alive

granted how ever the rest of the floor you are on is  at several million degrees,  you immediately melt and so does the emerald

i wish i  elfs, dragons, and dwarfs lived in harmony

[Spinal_Taper]

Granted. The demons, Gods, and Humans do not. The powers of the demon and gods are given to the humans, who use their new powers to slaughter the Elves Dragons and Dwarves.

I wish religions truely did grant one power, D&D style.

[pisskop]

Granted.  All Gods, regardless of position in pantheon or function, grant the power to pray to them and have the frequency roughly recorded in some abstract history viewer.

I wish to live at least one hundred more years.

[wer6]

granted however in your birth you were permanently paralyzed but you successively live a hundred years through eating baby food and very bland  games which challenged your mind slightly like count to 3.
hmm... im just gonna be silly about this: i wish elf's were as bad ass as in my adventure wold: they ride dragons to war,  and then  seige in the caverns using " traded" adamantine weaponry with steel full clad ( quite  a fluke for some reaision: they killed of  the biggest dwarven kindem ever like : half the planet i don't know how.

[anailater]

Granted unfortunatly they all hate you.

I wish for cure for others stupidity.

[lemon10]

Granted, some people come to your house and cure you of your stupidity by killing you.

I wish for a everlasting gobstopper that tastes good.

[Spinal_Taper]

It's delicious, so delicious that you absolutely must eat it. It's also Ed Edd & Eddy sized, so it tears your mouth in half.

I wish that religions didn't polarize people so much.