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[IamanElfCollaborator]

Granted. You now know how to heat a coffee.

I wish I had the power to freeze myself in ice.

[Lagslayer]

Granted, but it only affects the lower half of your body. You die a slow, agonizing death.

I wish for my own personal army of war grizzlies.

[Angel Of Death]

Granted. You get your own army of war grizzlies. Unfortunately, you don't have the money or patience to look after the bears. Eventually, some hungry bears overpower the rest of the army and eat them. Soon enough, those bears eat YOU and escape into the wild.

I wish I had swallowed a tablet of poisonous acid.

[Trapezohedron]

Yes, you did. Infact, you swallowed a poisonous acid pill containing Krokodil.

While looking like a corpse would really help you in your metalhead getup, you feel that being a werecorpse doesn't do wonders to mobility and (obviously) health.

You become a bedridden junkie with no access to your favored type of drug.

My wish is yours to command.

[Devling]

I wish for everybody to be teleported to a hellish realm of eternal torment beyond imagining, besides me and you, who will be teleported to a realm where I live in comfort and luxury, and you are forced into back breaking labor by eldritch monstrositys.

I wish I controlled everything.

[Spinal_Taper]

After overthrowing god, and taking control of everything, you become bored.

I wish that I didn't fear for my life right now.

[jaxy15]

Granted. You fear for your appearance instead. Better get some money for some make up.

I wish I knew how minecarts worked in Dwarf Fortress.

[Nega]

Granted. You finally figure it out, and decide that you will make a roller-coaster theme-park fortress. No one decides to ride it and you are forced to abandon your fort.

I wish for nyans.

[Lagslayer]

Thermonuclear nyancatsplosion. Real Life fps drops to zero, after everyone everything catches on fire.

I wish for a can of baked beans.

[adasdad]

granted. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zbnp5RUzI8Q


I wish to get ye flask.

[Zrk2]

You do, it's poisoned with iocaine powder.

I wish I was immortal.

[Svarte Troner]

Granted. But you lose all of your fans to Cradle of Filth.

I wish people would refer to me as Comrade Iakov.

[Ross Vernal]

Granted. You suffer from delusions of grandeur, attempt to overthrow the government, and are confined to a mental asylum.

I wish I had an ice-cold soda.

[adasdad]

you do. nitrogen ice. have fun with severe frostbite.

I wish that i was batman.

[Nega]

Granted. You suddenly decide to commit suicide because your parents are deeeeeaaaaaad. 

I wish for some brain bleach.