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Author Topic: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves  (Read 5844 times)

Ravendarksky

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #15 on: December 18, 2014, 12:21:32 pm »

Time to crank out the old minecart fourth trimester abortionator and do some science.
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Insert_Gnome_Here

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #16 on: December 18, 2014, 12:34:07 pm »

Presumably, horizontal velocity would also be lost, so baby shotguns would just make it rain. How about pregnant dwarves in minecarts?
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Quartz_Mace

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves
« Reply #17 on: December 18, 2014, 05:18:16 pm »

I'd just like to say that that military Dwarf who fell is one great mother. Seeing that she was doomed, she managed to instantaneously give birth with enough force to counter-act the gravity, close enough to the ground that her baby didn't die! It is really sad that she exploded.

May her name live on in history.

By the way, was she wearing armor?
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Max™

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves
« Reply #18 on: December 18, 2014, 06:12:26 pm »

That is some next level sparta shit.

Born in battle, raised in the deep, after 12 years of suffering from hell will they creep. dwarfen childcare
Aaaand that's a new sig.
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origamiscienceguy

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves
« Reply #19 on: December 18, 2014, 06:30:25 pm »

I'd just like to say that that military Dwarf who fell is one great mother. Seeing that she was doomed, she managed to instantaneously give birth with enough force to counter-act the gravity, close enough to the ground that her baby didn't die! It is really sad that she exploded.

May her name live on in history.

By the way, was she wearing armor?

Not only that, but she managed to figure out it was a boy, and name him appropriately.

Also, no, she was not wearing any armor.
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

JimboM12

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #20 on: December 18, 2014, 07:01:29 pm »

Clearly the baby was expelled at a velocity equal and opposite to gravity.
Now imagine what that implies for those born while the mother is not falling rapidly (and apparently headfirst).
This explains many of the dwarven mental deficiencies we've seen over the years.

I just had a great thought about making baby warrior cannons (Ala pregnant guardswomen) but then remembered Toady patched it so babies don't come strapped with knifes anymore.
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Naryar

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves
« Reply #21 on: December 18, 2014, 07:37:31 pm »

If we drop babies on a minecart's tile, will they go inside the minecart ?

Baby machineguns. This must happen.

utunnels

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves
« Reply #22 on: December 18, 2014, 07:43:28 pm »

I don't understand, how do you weaponize that?

Urist MamaDwarf bashed The goblin hammerman in the head with her dwarven baby and the injured part explodes into gore!
The dwarven baby has lodged firmly in the wound!
Urist MamaDwarf twists the embedded dwarven baby.
...
Urist McBrickhead, dwarven baby has been struck down!
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Max™

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves
« Reply #23 on: December 18, 2014, 08:28:00 pm »

This ties back to the "mother carrying baby head instead of mace" AND the "Casey McAnthony makes a pick from her baby" threads somehow, I'm sure.
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Quartz_Mace

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves
« Reply #24 on: December 18, 2014, 10:09:42 pm »

I don't understand, how do you weaponize that?

Urist MamaDwarf bashed The goblin hammerman in the head with her dwarven baby and the injured part explodes into gore!
The dwarven baby has lodged firmly in the wound!
Urist MamaDwarf twists the embedded dwarven baby.
...
Urist McBrickhead, dwarven baby has been struck down!
Unfortunately, the could not twist an embedded baby because twisting embedded weapons has been temporarily removed.

Seriously though, someone needs to find a way to mod this in.
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origamiscienceguy

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves
« Reply #25 on: December 18, 2014, 10:21:51 pm »

She is not attacking with the baby, she is just giving birth such that the baby flies out at terminal velocity.
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

Quartz_Mace

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves
« Reply #26 on: December 18, 2014, 10:30:44 pm »

Doesn't mean it wouldn't be cool to mod in.  :)
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Evil One

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #27 on: December 19, 2014, 01:38:16 am »

So if we toss the mother upward just before she gaves birth, will the baby explode instead ?

And this was how the Dwarf Fortress space program started...
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612DwarfAvenue

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves
« Reply #28 on: December 19, 2014, 11:05:01 pm »

I don't understand, how do you weaponize that?

Drop mother onto enemy, mother gives birth in mid-air, now have two projectiles at once.
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Aseaheru

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #29 on: December 19, 2014, 11:08:10 pm »

Excessive-G's-assisted pregnancy  :P
That was actually a thing. Well, excessive-G's-assisted labor and birth.
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