Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 [2] 3

Author Topic: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves  (Read 5918 times)

Ravendarksky

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
    • DFMon.exe - Get rid of DF SPAM
Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #15 on: December 18, 2014, 12:21:32 pm »

Time to crank out the old minecart fourth trimester abortionator and do some science.
Logged

Insert_Gnome_Here

  • Bay Watcher
  • Dosen't really care about anything anymore.
    • View Profile
Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #16 on: December 18, 2014, 12:34:07 pm »

Presumably, horizontal velocity would also be lost, so baby shotguns would just make it rain. How about pregnant dwarves in minecarts?
Logged
Quote from: Max™ on December 06, 2015, 04:09:21 am
Also, if you ever figure out why poets/bards/dancers just randomly start butchering people/getting butchered, please don't fix it, I love never knowing when a dance party will turn into a slaughter.

Quartz_Mace

  • Bay Watcher
  • Here lies a !!Shred of Sanity!!
    • View Profile
Re: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves
« Reply #17 on: December 18, 2014, 05:18:16 pm »

I'd just like to say that that military Dwarf who fell is one great mother. Seeing that she was doomed, she managed to instantaneously give birth with enough force to counter-act the gravity, close enough to the ground that her baby didn't die! It is really sad that she exploded.

May her name live on in history.

By the way, was she wearing armor?
Logged
Welcome, newcomer, to this place of madness, also referred to as the forums of the Twelfth Bay. I hope you enjoy your stay.
Quartz Mace cancels living: demons embedded in everything.
Ass möde is a way of life
Retired/Extended Sigs

Max™

  • Bay Watcher
  • [CULL:SQUARE]
    • View Profile
Re: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves
« Reply #18 on: December 18, 2014, 06:12:26 pm »

That is some next level sparta shit.

Born in battle, raised in the deep, after 12 years of suffering from hell will they creep. dwarfen childcare
Aaaand that's a new sig.
Logged

origamiscienceguy

  • Bay Watcher
  • WELL! OK THEN!... That was fun.
    • View Profile
Re: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves
« Reply #19 on: December 18, 2014, 06:30:25 pm »

I'd just like to say that that military Dwarf who fell is one great mother. Seeing that she was doomed, she managed to instantaneously give birth with enough force to counter-act the gravity, close enough to the ground that her baby didn't die! It is really sad that she exploded.

May her name live on in history.

By the way, was she wearing armor?

Not only that, but she managed to figure out it was a boy, and name him appropriately.

Also, no, she was not wearing any armor.
Logged
"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

JimboM12

  • Bay Watcher
  • Dank.
    • View Profile
Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #20 on: December 18, 2014, 07:01:29 pm »

Clearly the baby was expelled at a velocity equal and opposite to gravity.
Now imagine what that implies for those born while the mother is not falling rapidly (and apparently headfirst).
This explains many of the dwarven mental deficiencies we've seen over the years.

I just had a great thought about making baby warrior cannons (Ala pregnant guardswomen) but then remembered Toady patched it so babies don't come strapped with knifes anymore.
Logged
Pemmican is pretty incredibly durable. Corn and rice also lust forever without refrigeration.
Ah yes, the insatiable lust of corn and rice, clearly two of the most erotic foods.

Naryar

  • Bay Watcher
  • [SPHERE:VERMIN][LIKES_FIGHTING]
    • View Profile
Re: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves
« Reply #21 on: December 18, 2014, 07:37:31 pm »

If we drop babies on a minecart's tile, will they go inside the minecart ?

Baby machineguns. This must happen.

utunnels

  • Bay Watcher
  • Axedwarf
    • View Profile
Re: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves
« Reply #22 on: December 18, 2014, 07:43:28 pm »

I don't understand, how do you weaponize that?

Urist MamaDwarf bashed The goblin hammerman in the head with her dwarven baby and the injured part explodes into gore!
The dwarven baby has lodged firmly in the wound!
Urist MamaDwarf twists the embedded dwarven baby.
...
Urist McBrickhead, dwarven baby has been struck down!
Logged
The troglodyte head shakes The Troglodyte around by the head, tearing apart the head's muscle!

Risen Asteshdakas, Ghostly Recruit has risen and is haunting the fortress!

Max™

  • Bay Watcher
  • [CULL:SQUARE]
    • View Profile
Re: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves
« Reply #23 on: December 18, 2014, 08:28:00 pm »

This ties back to the "mother carrying baby head instead of mace" AND the "Casey McAnthony makes a pick from her baby" threads somehow, I'm sure.
Logged

Quartz_Mace

  • Bay Watcher
  • Here lies a !!Shred of Sanity!!
    • View Profile
Re: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves
« Reply #24 on: December 18, 2014, 10:09:42 pm »

I don't understand, how do you weaponize that?

Urist MamaDwarf bashed The goblin hammerman in the head with her dwarven baby and the injured part explodes into gore!
The dwarven baby has lodged firmly in the wound!
Urist MamaDwarf twists the embedded dwarven baby.
...
Urist McBrickhead, dwarven baby has been struck down!
Unfortunately, the could not twist an embedded baby because twisting embedded weapons has been temporarily removed.

Seriously though, someone needs to find a way to mod this in.
Logged
Welcome, newcomer, to this place of madness, also referred to as the forums of the Twelfth Bay. I hope you enjoy your stay.
Quartz Mace cancels living: demons embedded in everything.
Ass möde is a way of life
Retired/Extended Sigs

origamiscienceguy

  • Bay Watcher
  • WELL! OK THEN!... That was fun.
    • View Profile
Re: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves
« Reply #25 on: December 18, 2014, 10:21:51 pm »

She is not attacking with the baby, she is just giving birth such that the baby flies out at terminal velocity.
Logged
"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

Quartz_Mace

  • Bay Watcher
  • Here lies a !!Shred of Sanity!!
    • View Profile
Re: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves
« Reply #26 on: December 18, 2014, 10:30:44 pm »

Doesn't mean it wouldn't be cool to mod in.  :)
Logged
Welcome, newcomer, to this place of madness, also referred to as the forums of the Twelfth Bay. I hope you enjoy your stay.
Quartz Mace cancels living: demons embedded in everything.
Ass möde is a way of life
Retired/Extended Sigs

Evil One

  • Bay Watcher
  • [Champion Elfslayer]
    • View Profile
Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #27 on: December 19, 2014, 01:38:16 am »

So if we toss the mother upward just before she gaves birth, will the baby explode instead ?

And this was how the Dwarf Fortress space program started...
Logged
Dwarf!  Indeed, a devious delight fond of drink and industry deceived as both do-gooder and devil by the delusions of deities.  This demander, no daft demeanor, is a driving force of the deadly diocese, now disappointed, delirious from goblin deception.  However, this delicious derangement of a demolished diamond stands determined!

612DwarfAvenue

  • Bay Watcher
  • Voice actor.
    • View Profile
    • TESnexus profile, has my voice acting portfolio.
Re: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves
« Reply #28 on: December 19, 2014, 11:05:01 pm »

I don't understand, how do you weaponize that?

Drop mother onto enemy, mother gives birth in mid-air, now have two projectiles at once.
Logged
My voice acting portfolio.
Centration. Similar to Spacestation 13, but in 3D and first-person. Sounds damn awesome.
NanoTrasen Exploratory Team: SS13 in DF.

Aseaheru

  • Bay Watcher
  • Cursed by the Elves with a title.
    • View Profile
Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #29 on: December 19, 2014, 11:08:10 pm »

Excessive-G's-assisted pregnancy  :P
That was actually a thing. Well, excessive-G's-assisted labor and birth.
Logged
Highly Opinionated Fool
Warning, nearly incapable of expressing tone in text
Pages: 1 [2] 3