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Author Topic: !!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves  (Read 5924 times)

origamiscienceguy

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!!SCIENCE!! Weaponizing pregnant dwarves
« on: December 17, 2014, 10:37:49 pm »

Just some random piece of !!SCIENCE!! I found while playing fortress mode.

I was in the middle of fighting off a goblin ambush with my military. The military captain was pregnant. During the fight, she dodged off the edge of a 30 z-level cliff (I was experimenting with setting erosion to zero) when she was 2 z-levels from hitting the ground, she gave birth. I thought that they would both be completely dead, but to my surprise, the baby only sustained light damage (some bruising) while the mother was splattered flat as a pancake. I am pretty sure that the baby survived because it did not count as falling 30 z-levels, just the 2 that it fell while it was in existence.

Just wanted to share that.
« Last Edit: December 18, 2014, 01:49:11 pm by origamiscienceguy »
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"'...It represents the world. They [the dwarves] plan to destroy it.' 'WITH SOAP?!'" -legend of zoro (with some strange interperetation)

MrCompassionate

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2014, 10:44:51 pm »

Excellent science! Think of the possibilities.... that don't actually exist but still that's a cool fact!
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Jervill

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2014, 10:46:57 pm »

Unfortunately, the baby will now eventually crawl around the fortress and die. :(

Also, why did you allow your dwarves to fight near such a chasm?   
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origamiscienceguy

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2014, 10:51:13 pm »

They weren't anywhere near the chasm when this started. The battle migrated over there. And the baby could still crawl up the tunnel i built connecting the top to the bottom.
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Broseph Stalin

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #4 on: December 17, 2014, 10:52:15 pm »

Clearly the baby was expelled at a velocity equal and opposite to gravity. We could throw dwarves in labor into deep chasms and have their children survive the landing, then after twelve years they could preform labors and such as normal. Only the least dwarfy of fortresses will deign to have stairs after this.

Ravendarksky

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2014, 04:37:53 am »

That is some next level sparta shit.

Born in battle,
raised in the deep,
after 12 years of suffering from hell will they creep.

dwarfen childcare tm
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Thisfox

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #6 on: December 18, 2014, 05:25:32 am »

Unfortunately, the baby will now eventually crawl around the fortress and die. :(

...Why? I have an orphan living in my fort at the moment. She gets fed water and food from the other dorfs (who won't feed her booze, as it has to be drink in a bucket, apparently, and booze doesn't come in buckets). She's fine. I've had a few emancipated babies and children in my fort over the years.

That is some next level sparta shit.

So very much! What is the baby name? Will she grow up to be a fighter like her mama?
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Loud Whispers

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #7 on: December 18, 2014, 07:11:38 am »

Clearly the baby was expelled at a velocity equal and opposite to gravity. We could throw dwarves in labor into deep chasms and have their children survive the landing, then after twelve years they could preform labors and such as normal. Only the least dwarfy of fortresses will deign to have stairs after this.
With enough force to counter terminal velocity? Is that easier to explain than babies not following the laws of motion?

Naryar

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #8 on: December 18, 2014, 07:21:50 am »

Excessive-G's-assisted pregnancy  :P

TKGP

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #9 on: December 18, 2014, 07:25:23 am »

Clearly the baby was expelled at a velocity equal and opposite to gravity.
Now imagine what that implies for those born while the mother is not falling rapidly (and apparently headfirst).
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Larix

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #10 on: December 18, 2014, 07:43:42 am »

Scrubbed because i don't condone this thread.
« Last Edit: December 18, 2014, 03:12:18 pm by Larix »
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Quartz_Mace

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #11 on: December 18, 2014, 07:45:49 am »

Praise Armok this is hilarious! If Dwarven mothers practically shoot their babies out at terminal volicity...could we weaponize that?
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origamiscienceguy

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #12 on: December 18, 2014, 09:56:16 am »

What is the baby name? Will she grow up to be a fighter like her mama?

The baby's name is likot bucketneeds (what a coincidence) When he comes of age, he will definitely become a military dwarf.
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Naryar

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #13 on: December 18, 2014, 11:01:14 am »

So if we toss the mother upward just before she gaves birth, will the baby explode instead ?

I am thinking of minecart railguns with pregnant dwarves inside, with some removing of the [MULTIPLE_LITTER_RARE] on dwarves and then adding a proper LITTERSIZE.

Baby shotguns. This must be done, for !!SCIENCE!!

silverskull39

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Re: !!SCIENCE!! born babies do not retain their parents fall distance.
« Reply #14 on: December 18, 2014, 12:08:58 pm »

what I want to know is, if a parent is carrying a baby, and falls to their death, does the baby also die? or does it survive because it was held by the parent?
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