Monsters, Adversaries, and Creeps:Greetings and hello reader, and in the case that you have just gotten here recently, welcome to the dungeons, as such these catacombs are called. Regardless on how you've come in contact with this book, know that you are likely not alone here, and that people in a predicament such as yourself, such as myself, have wandered these halls long before, and most likely shall ever after. Myself, known under the moniker of Propman, have taken upon the task to record the various types of hostile flora, fauna, and mechanical objects that might hinder your progress, as well as possibly how to deal with them and their capabilities.
Many of the fiends listed in this passage are formulated from tall tales and folklore told to myself by the local townsfolk of XXXXX, including creatures encountered in the rooms we have visited that are said to also roam the outskirts of the town proper. I have taken the time to compose a list of all the hostile creatures my cohorts and I have faced throughout the depths of the dungeon, in hopes that perhaps somebody else might find this information useful, as well as to perhaps make this bizarre plane of existence seem a bit less chaotic. At any rate, I shall add and revise these articles as more information flows through and hope in earnest that somebody else takes up the mantle in completing it in the case that I somehow become unable. I have contacted the local scribe in order to keep a recording of these entries present within town, so that in the case I am to lose this journal that all this information does not become lost.
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Gaper: Pacer: A humanoid, childlike being with flesh digging hands that apparently originates from the Binding of Isaac, though heck if I know, having yet to ever play the game. Whatever the case, I do not want to be near these things, as there's something about them, even dead, that makes them highly disturbing to be around. It appears I misguessed these being's names when I first wrote down the article: their actual identity in the games is known as the
"Pacer", according to the corrections of Hugo.
Locations: Binding of Isaac Room
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Oni Drunkard: A massive ogre-demon-like beast with thick, deep red skin and rawhide clothing as well as two horns and a massive metal club. He was in rather poor health when we encountered him, and that's for the better: Otherwise, we would have had quite battle on our hands. Sadly, as the only specimen of his race that we have encountered so far, I cannot give an accurate assessment of this creature, but assume that they have superhuman strength and bullet resistance around the thicker parts of their body, such as the skeleton.
Locations: Oni Room
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Hanker Head: Disembodied, malformed heads that spit blood and gnaw on their prey while hobbling about. Disturbing, but not terribly threatening unto themselves.
Locations: Head Room, Overworld?
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Hunger Head: Not to be confused with the hungry head, which is a class of monster all on its own, the hungerhead is a rather revolting disembodied head with crimson skin (or is that exposed muscle?
Urgh...) that hops around and bites things, with enough power to tear off chunks of flesh. It can also spit acid with pinpoint accuracy.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Giant Spider: A spider of massive size; The leg-span of a Japanese Spider Crab, while the body size of a Coconut Crab. These hairy fiends are poisonous and surprisingly dextrous for their monstrous appearance. I suggest you dispatch them from a distance.
Heh, me brother would be terrified if he were in my shoes.Locations: Spider Room, Minefield, Overworld?
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Werewolf: A hulking, unholy marriage of man and beast, the werewolf is the traditional lycantrope, and is terrifying up close to boot. Stronger and faster then a man and armed with razor-sharp claws and fangs, let alone our ill-equipped group, it's recommended that you don't hold down anything when attempting to face them. We already lost one of our own to these abominations. Weak to silver.
Locations: Werewolf Room
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Fallen Cultist:A mad human? acolyte clad in thick robes so as to obscure their faces. They're completely fanatical, and will attack in spite of their light armaments. I know little more about these enigmatic figures, as Zanzetkuken seems to be unresponsive whenever I inquire
her about the subject. Seem to be in some sort of trance.
Locations: Cultist Cathedral
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Black Pawn: A small soldier constructed of finely carved marble and armed with a matching spear. These fellows follow the rules of chess, and will crumple to a single direct hit, but they hit hard for their size. Their fearless nature is either a sign of great bravery, suicidal tendencies, or simple-mindedness.
Locations: Chess Room
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Black Knight: A stone construct built into the veneer of a knight chess piece, following a similar movement and attack pattern. They attack with their full weight, and you do not want to be on the receiving end of their stomps. I wonder who built these things, and why I get the feeling that they're fighting against their own wills.
Locations: Chess Room
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Black Bishop: An enemy construct made to resemble the chess piece of its namesake, following the same movement patterns. Where I come from, bishops are not generally known for their combat prowess, which might explain why Prophet is such a poor fighter.
Locations: Chess Room
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Gyrotron: A physics-defying, bipedal robot built of bronze, brass, oil, and steam, these robotic guardians are equipped with built-in circular saws which they can use as intimidating weapons. Their exposed machinery and inferior building materials makes them weak for a machine, but they're easier stronger than a person. If you ask me, I think that their original purpose must have been some sort of lumbering or woodcutting equipment, but this dungeon makes so little logical sense that anything could be possible.
Location: Steampunk Room
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Robber: First encountered by Hugo and the lads, robbers are eyeless, apparently non-human goons clad in balaclavas, striped outfits, and one mean attitude, on top of the inability to speak or communicate in any way that doesn't involve violence. After felling a few of them myself, it was only after I found one trying to assassinate a townie that I figured out these thugs are part of some sort of organization based in the town casino.
Though they're weaker than many of the more monstrous horrors in this dungeon, their tendency to attack in coordinated groups as well as their wide array of weaponry, including the possibility of wielding firearms makes them a threat not at all to be underestimated.
Locations: Bank Lobby, Museum, Murderstone Talus/Museum Exit
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Robber Con Carne: A meaner variant of the robber goons under Two-Shoe Louie's command, one can easily tell these brutes apart from their peers based on their large height, body-builder physique, weighted gloves, short-sleeved shirts, and the bandanas they wear over the mouths of their balaclavas. Even an unarmed example is arguably as dangerous as an armed normal robber, while these bouncers are often equipped with heavier, harder hitting weapons then their lighter peers, as well as the possibility of shotguns or even light machine guns. Needless to say, approach with
extreme caution.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Wolf: In my homeland, wolves are an acknowledged part of life, and they're both hunted and have hunted unfortunate folks who have been caught up in their packs. While not a large threat alone if you have a firearm, they can prove challenging to an unskilled melee fighter, or exceedingly dangerous if they're encountered in a pack, even if one is armed. How packs of wolves can sustain themselves in this sort of environment is beyond me.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Wild Dog: A massive wolf-dog hungry for flesh, probably human. How such a creature could occur in a place like this remains a mystery, but that means there are likely packs of wild wolves and wild dogs out there someplace, ready to prey on lone adventurers such as how I tend to be. Yikes.
Locations: Overworld, Amnesia Stream, The Snowglobe?, Werewolf Room?
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Ice Wolf: A fierce creature from the evil snowy wilds. It has white fur and a piercing howl. They're similar in appearance and build to the solitary wild dogs of the main overworld, but unlike said dogs, they tend to fight in packs, making engaging them a dangerous affair if one isn't in a group themselves. Their fur also seems to be especially suited to insulating cold, and I've seen local leather-workers use it to make high-quality gear.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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RedRover: The lack of space between the two words is apparently how it's spelled by the locals. These canines more resemble dogs then most of the variants of wolf found within this dungeon, having a snout reminiscent of a pit bull's, but their general body shape is that of a wolf. Regardless, no breed I know of is able to set their prey on fire through biting them as these creatures do. Furthermore, their fur seems to be somewhat fire resistant, while their skin underneath the crimson hair is milk-white. I wonder if I should bring a trophy from one of these creatures to a scientist in order to figure out what the heck it is, once I get back home of course.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Dire Wolf/Warg: A horse-sized, hairy, terrifying species of canine that is either supposed to be fictional or extinct, depending on if their identity is based off the ancient creature or the fantastic monster. I haven't been able to determine which, but either way these beasts are highly formidable opponents when faced alone, let alone trying to face them in a pack. I suggest using automatic weapons to hunt them, even if it
is poor sportsmanship.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Pompo: A sentient (I think) gourd given autonomy by whatever nonsensical forces dictate this dungeon's behavior. These pumpkins aren't very durable creatures, but they can use the candles that appear to be giving them life in order to breath fire, a nasty surprise indeed. They can also use their vines to trip and entangle small prey, but that's mostly trivial.
Locations: Overworld, Amnesia Stream, Southern Town Gate
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Spitfire: A purple Pompo that shoots soul-cleansing blue flames. While clearly more dangerous then a normal pompo when its attack connects, it isn't actually any stronger from a physical standpoint, and will be extinguished just as easily when its candle is destroyed.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Ghoul'd: A giant, red Pompo that seems to be able to spit napalm from its candle. Aside from being rather rare, these beasts are known to cause mass panic in the town whenever the possibility of one being discovered nearby is mentioned, as they could potentially burn the walls protecting it down with minimal effort. I sure hope I never have to face one, in any case.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Guk: Just a name I came up for this nasty abomination. Some sort of vaguely humanoid (as in, human-like from torso up, but nothing but a slimy foot of pond-scum bellow that) monster made up of mud, and disturbingly exposed muscle and fat. It wasn't that threatening,
but it ruined my favourite shirt; it seems to exist for no other reason then to fling filth at unwary passerbys.
Whoever designed this dungeon is a cheeky, petty broad indeed.Locations: Overworld, Amnesia Stream
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Skuzz: A bigger, smellier Guk that utilizes fragmented rocks as part of its body structure, making it tougher to boot. Not only that, but it'll throw rocks as well with uncanny accuracy, meaning that what's simply an inconvenience when conducted by their weaker kin can be potentially lethal.
I loathe these monsters.Locations (Not Yet Encountered)
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Animatronic Shade: Mechanical representations of characters from our past, incomplete and abandoned RPGs and stories. These serve as a reminder to our flaws and failures in our histories as writers, and boy do they love rubbing it in. Though they're not particularly tough for machines, they were present in large numbers, and a couple times threatened to overwhelm the crew. It's a good thing I wasn't present,
as the only character on this board I've controlled that fits their description would be rather terrifying to face on the account it is already a machine.
Locations: The Hall of Truth
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Draugr: Taken straight from the world of Tamriel, I'd like to take the time to correct some common misconceptions of these creatures. First and foremost; they aren't zombies. Zombies are shambling, half-arsedly reanimated cannon fodder that smell of rot and have a lesser intelligence then that of a mouse.
Draugr are carefully preserved (well, most of the time) mummified warriors who retain both their intelligence and decision-making skills, and confusing one for the other is a potentially fatal mistake. Still, their joints are atrophied and hindered by rigor mortis, so despite their skill, their reactions are slow, and easy enough to exploit.
Locations: Crypt of Truth
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Restless Draugr: These undead warriors knew a thing or two about magic in life, and from their palms they can conjure a wave of frigid cold. Evidently, their higher status also means they're sometimes also better equipped then their peers, so one should take care when facing them in close combat.
Locations: Crypt of Truth
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Draugr Wight: Distinguishable from the fact they're somewhat better preserved than the more common varieties of dragur, this includes mentally, and they can cast ice magic with proficiency, making dealing with them a rather dangerous affair if you aren't properly protected from the cold. It can be difficult for someone like me to tell them apart from the plain old restless-types, especially from a distance. Maybe I really
should have picked cold resistance.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Draugr Scourge: In life, these husks were highly skilled soldiers and probably the leaders of war-parties. In death, they're a terrifyingly formidable foe indeed: They can push back and knock down their adversaries with as little as a shout, and can summon demons of ice in order to aid them in combat. Meanwhile, their enchanted weapons and well-preserved armour serve to distinguish them from their peers as well as making fighting them from a melee distance unfeasible in most cases.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Frost Atronach: In the same way draugr are not zombies, it would be silly to confuse a frost atronach with a simple ice golem. In reality, they're closer in composition to demons then they are any golem or elemental, though for most functional purposes they're identical in function to the latter when under servitude: they can't think for themselves beyond basic instinct, and simply bash things to death with their frozen limbs in most cases. Like a living refrigeration unit, they'll cause freezer-burns to anyone standing in close proximity without proper protection, and they'll often explode in a wave of icy shrapnel upon death. Keep both of these in mind when engaging.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Prattler: A puppet-like creature with an exaggerated pair of hands jutting from its wiry, jointed limbs, seemingly made out of a combination of wood and rather revoltingly, resin-cured flesh. From its caricatured, Pulcinella-like face is expelled an endless amount of nonsensical gibberish as it attempts to slap its target senseless. Aside from this, they have the odd ability to occasionally cast weak spells, so watch out.
Locations: Overworld, Southern Town Gate
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Punchinello: For some reason, these Prattlers have blue-tinted skin as well as what appear to be the remains of handcuffs on their wrists, which they use as bracers. Though no stronger then their counterparts when it comes to physical strength, they seem to have faster reflexes as well as a stronger spell respiratory, including an ability strikingly similar to Archvasti's version of healing.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Bauldowin: A deep green Prattler, or Prattler-like entity dressed in business slacks as well as a tee-shirt, while also wearing jester shoes. Strange fashion sense, but don't underestimate these weaselly fiends: they can cast a wide range of debilitating magic that'll mess with your head an have you acting as their puppet, and their slaps can crush iron on direct contact.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Vermin: An odd, seemingly sapient spherical rodent with blue fur and a large fork which it utilizes as a weapon. Unlike most of the overworld monsters, I could have sworn that I've seen these things in a game somewhere, but I can't quite put my finger on which. They'll often accompany other monster types despite showing no obvious relation to them, including wild animals.
Are all monsters aligned with each other against players?Locations: Overworld, Southern Town Gate
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Mad Vermin: Seemingly some sort warrior caste for the "vermin" race of monsters, these creatures are faster, braver, and miles more skilled then their blue compatriots, despite looking fairly similar from a glance, and possessing the same equipment. I suggest you not underestimate them at any rate, as the townsfolk say they
have managed to score kills against would-be adventurers who wrote them off as a non-threat.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Gibbering Mog: A green mudfish or frog-like humanoid with a hunched back and a disgusting array of warts, growths, and cists spread throughout its entire body, ready to burst into a shower of pus and liquid at any moment. Their arms in particular are very malformed and full of rock-hard calluses as well as a thickened bone structure, and while useless for grabbing things, they serve as natural clubs capable of parrying sword strikes. Notably, they also have a set of unkempt, snaggle-ridden teeth, though luckily they don't seem to bite with them.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Mad Mog: A larger then standard mog with red skin, as well as arms which are further malformed, their hands having completely merged with the rest of the structure, with what was once their fingernails morphing into a set of armor-piercing spikes. They're a good deal tougher than their already burly predecessors, but they luckily retain their negative traits like poor coordination.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Mogster: A purple-tinted mog that stands eight feet tall, and possesses a second set of club-arms, as well as a tortoise-like rather than frog-like face, these fiends are capable of tearing through an unprepared group with their powerful array of natural weaponry, and can also spit an irritating, though non-lethal juice at their foes that makes them break out in hives. I recommend cutting them down with either heavy weapons or magic.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Centaur: The name is a bit misleading in this context. Indeed, while the centaur described in this passage are part-horse part-man, they're nothing like the traditional composition told of in mythology.
These centaur are more like horses that had the arms of a body-builder grafted onto their shoulders in order to wield weapons, and they'll charge into battle carrying machetes while kicking their foes with equally deadly front-legs. The best way to fight them is to do so in terrain that prohibits their ability to charge, as they aren't exactly great at blocking blows in close combat with their small arms relative to body size.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Breehinny: A bright-red variant of the previously described "centaur" creature (which is actually a horse with an extra set of human arms), these are more aggressive then the normal variant, which is already pretty nasty. For some unfathomable reason, they can also use earth magic to a limited extent, and they tend to use this in lieu of their shortswords.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Brick-Brack: A centaur (the kind with a horse's body and a man's arms grated to its neck) that seems to have had its hind-quarters replaced with a steam-tractor, as nonsensical as such an action would sound, and is as well the possessor of a purple hide, as well as horns. They're loud, boisterous, and incredibly strong, capable of lifting boulders the size of a motorcycle, but their hindquarters means that they're actually
worse at maneuvering then their predecessors, and have a difficulty making rapid movements. Can also use darkness magic, as well as emit scalding steam from their arm-pits.
Queer.Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Cardboard Golem: A soldier made out of cardboard boxes and trays, vaguely resembling some sort of samurai, or perhaps a knight, or a samurai wearing a knight's helmet, if that helmet were a box. Regardless, these creatures weild long cardboard tubes and brandish cardboard tower shields, which are about as effective as one would expect, making them rather pitiable enemies in spite of their rather high skill-base. If they were made of a stronger material, they would be very formidable. Seems to bleed packaging peanuts, and many of them contain useful items inside their bodies.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Boxer Rebel: It seems I spoke rather a bit too soon. These oddly named foes are almost identical in general geometry to the Cardboard Golem, but are constructed of corrugated aluminum sheets rather then well,
cardboard, making them much sturdier then their earlier predecessors. They likewise carry a light aluminum shield, which is surprisingly effective at deflecting the blows of lighter weapons despite its appearance, and wield a large aluminum pipe with astonishingly dangerous proficiency. Seem to be filled with straw for some reason, and like cardboard golems, usually contain items unrelated to their function in their bodies.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Buxia: Another enemy fashioned from the same "pattern" as the cardboard golem, only this time constructed of boiler plating, painted a sort of beige. Their armoured plating is generally too thick to be phased by mundane melee weapons, while smaller calibre firearms just seem to bounce off of their metal bodies. The shields they carry are mostly superfluous and clumsy for human hands, but they can cause a serious amount of damage with the steel rods they carry, which they brandish like longswords. Filled with newspaper shavings (though good luck trying to open it) and loot. I recommend explosives or AP ammunition, even though it does risk damaging their contents.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Hungry Head: A fearsome, long-toothed mouth the size of a man's head, flying on bat wings. It is found in deep caves. These monsters are as loathsome as I pictured them in Dwarf Fortress. Hungry heads are true to their name, large balls of flesh on a pair of bat-like wings which serve as a vehicle for their gaping, flesh-ripping maws. Terrifying when they're trying to eat your face, I always keep my gun in hand when attempting to navigate the caves of the overworld because of them. No relation to the hunger head, or any of the monsters of the hanker head line other then the fact both of them are disgusting devices whose only purpose in life seem to be to bite things.
Locations: (Not Yet Encountered)
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Bosses:
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The Black Knight: A guardian of the room directly proceeding the chess area (his relationship with the chess pieces, if any, remains uncertain), the Black Knight would not let the group pass according to what they told me, and they had to wrestle him down in order to proceed. Poor fellow was equipped without any weapons, so most he could do was use his gauntlets as knuckles as he was overwhelmed by an angry mob.
Location: Black Knight Room (Who names these places?)
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The Black King: A statue carved of ebony marble in the image of a mighty king, this construct sequenced an event in which the group had to play a rather deranged game of human chess against its minions. Though it couldn't speak, I had no doubt in my mind that it was fully aware of the actions it was committing, but I'm not entirely sure if he
wanted to fight us.
Could there have been some force dictating its actions from behind the scenes? Such questions, and the very nature of these dungeons constantly trouble my mind. He wielded he King's Scepter.
Location: Chess Room
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GLaDOS: Oi, I could write essays on my personal observations of this crazy AI lady and the chaotic world she exists in, but for the purposes of this passage, I'll just write by what Hugo and the lads have told me about their apparent encounter with her. She was apparently just dragged into the world by the mavolent architect responsible for the rest of this laybrinth, and was given a token amount of knowlage, though was humerously enough as subject to the dungeon's whims as we are. She attempted to down the group using the dungeon's physics, not out of malice, but because that's what her directives apparently told her was the best option of the time.
Such is life. Location: The Halls of Truth
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