((Hehe, no, this world hasn't ended just yet. I've just been making some of the later dungeon maps look less stupid. Due to these maps being vast in number, this has taken slightly longer than expected. But, without further ado, here is the turn.))
Walk into the guard room first, there must be something there, right? Besides, we don't want monsters cutting off our escape route.
Edit: And keep my gauntlets up, if that needs to be specified.
Gun at the ready assist in clearing the guard room.
"Best start there don't want anything coming up behind us in the palace."
SURPRISE ATTACK!
(Jaenna spd: 5+1)
(Belkin spd: 3+2)
(Gatekeeper dex: 5+4)
(Jaenna spd: 4+1)
(Gatekeeper str: 3+6)
(Jaenna end: 4+6)
(Gatekeeper end: 5+6)
As Jaenna steps into the guardroom, she barely has a second to react as some sort of huge knight clad in twisted white armor comes crashing across the room, swinging around a weapon that can only be described as an enormous brass key. With a mighty upswing, the knight knocks Jaenna clear out of the room, her gauntlets releasing a storm of jagged red shards as she lands on her feet and skids to a stop outside. These shards fly straight at the knight, embedding themselves into its armor like hundreds of tiny darts, but the layer of corruption on the armor suddenly grows a set of small mouths and literally eats away at the crystals, leaving the knight in just as good condition as it was originally.
Realize I forgot to look for throwing stones, look for throwing stones, and then follow others and throw rocks at monsters & berius's.
Seeing some sort of creepy knight attacking your teammates, you look around for rocks to throw at it. Unfortunately, it seems like the corruption has turned all of the rocks in the area into soft white lumps, which wriggle free from your hands when you try to pick them up.
Go upstairs, look around, especially for bits of the thing that still move
You head upstairs into a long hallway with many doors on both sides. About half of these doors are open, and by one of the closer doors is something that looks like half of a bathtub lying on its side in a pile of porcelain shards. Figuring that it must be the thing that you shot, you give it a poke with the barrel of your rifle, causing it to rock slightly and verifying that it is well and truly dead. Peering through a few of the open doors, you see that they all lead to nearly identical rooms, all strangely devoid of furniture, and with sliding glass doors out in the back leading to equally barren balconies that could serve as nice sniping posts, provided that something roaming around in the building doesn't get you while your back is turned.
Sprint as fast as I can to the new dungeon.
(Toboggan spd: 5+6)
(Smartmouth spd: 5+12)
(Toboggan str: 2-6)
(Smartmouth str: 1+12)
Figuring that Billy has enough protection with Beirus wanting his staff and all, Toboggan gives up on bodyguarding and sprints towards the ruined palace with his trenchcoat flapping in the wind. As he passes through the gates however, he notices
something else flapping in the wind, and turns around just in time to see Smartmouth zooming towards the fallen island with the trenchcoat draped over her sword like a towel, using her free hand to flip off Beirus.
"Have you been there this whole time without saying anything? Just make sure you stick close to me so you don't get left behind." Beirus remarks to the invisible thing before turning his attention to Toboggan and Billy.
"Aww, he likes you. How adorable. At least he didn't flash you."
Prepare for dungeon circumvention.
(Beirus aff: 1+6+6+10)
Waving both of your staves around, you summon up a large emerald platform, complete with seats and a guardrail. You try to make some safety restraints for it as well, but as it turns out, emeralds aren't exactly the best material to make seatbelts out of. Your invisible companion doesn't seem to mind however, judging by the soft crunch that one of the seats makes as it presumably sits down. Just as you're adding the last bits of the guardrail to the structure, you're hit in the face by Toboggan's old trenchcoat as Smartmouth climbs onto the platform, middle finger extended and a look of disgust on her face.
"Hey, I'm all good with stealing loot from people, but next time, use your emeralds to scout and at least give me a heads up if they're gonna be NAKED after I steal it. Either that, or you loot me some brain-bleach so that I can unsee it all afterwards."I have a feeling that this is a great item... I would never learn how to use properly. Or... Hm...
Shout "Activate" or something similar a few times. Then try to win by concentrating on desirable effect.
Despite your shouting and concentrating, the necklace refuses to activate. In fact, with everything that you've tried, you're starting to get the feeling that the effect that it provides is more passive than active. Maybe you should just wander around and do things and see what happens.
Keep doing that attack thing at the thing. Aim for the eye
(Jenkins spd: 1-1)
(Anthropophage spd: 1+2)
(Anthropophage dex: 4+6)
(Jenkins spd: 5-1)
(Anthropophage str: 6+4)
(Jenkins end: 3+6+2)
(Jenkins dex: 6-4)
(Anthropophage spd: 1+2-2)
(Jenkins str: 3+4)
(Anthropophage end: 2)
With a groan like the sound of rusty metal, the creature swings both of its fists like a sledgehammer, launching itself forwards with the force of the blow. It's far too fast for you to dodge, but your shield's sturdy enough that you don't need to, instead merely bracing yourself and using the leverage provided by the pole as well as the monster's momentum to send it crashing to the ground behind you. Then, as it struggles to get back onto its feet with its ungainly limbs, you use your shield as a pickaxe and bring it crashing down upon its single eye, splitting it open like a ripe melon. The beast gives one last shriek before the white flesh covering it seems to slither away, revealing a young man in a bloodstained blue tailcoat with a look of utter bewilderment upon his face.
"Who... No, not who, but what are you? I watched that monstrosity slaughter hunter after hunter while I was trapped in its belly, yet you slew it without so much as breaking a sweat. Surely you must be one of Sudenburg's great heroes, come to deliver our fair city from the corruption which has claimed it?"Seriously? A 1?
Do stuff.
You find Beirus smack dab in the middle of the fallen island, on a floating platform made from gleaming emeralds. He's kinda hard to miss, really.
Actions!
LIGHTS! CAMERA! UNSPECIFIED ACTIONS!
No, seriously, you didn't specify what your actions were. But hey, nobody tried to murder you this turn, so it all worked out in the end. Sort of.
Jaenna:
Loot: Red glass gauntlets
Health: Fine
Location: Ruined Palace (DUNGEON)
Toboggan:
Loot: Rainbow trenchcoat
Health: Fine
Location: Ruined Palace (DUNGEON)
Beirus:
Loot: Maaaagic cape, fancy pith helmet, Smartmouth, crabclaw scepter, hungry scimitar, some perfume, tuning fork blades, THE TOWER, Cat o' scorpion tails
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Flimsy Wizard:
Loot: Topaz bone staff
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Belkin:
Loot: Gilded gunlance
Health: Fine
Location: Ruined Palace (DUNGEON)
Hakkar:
Loot: Pearl necklace
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Stickman:
Loot: Windy rifle
Health: Fine
Location: Jungle of Flesh
Billy Snow:
Loot: Bagduy staff
Health: Fine
Location: Fallen Island
Austin:
Loot: Warm hat
Health: Fine
Location: Ruined Palace (DUNGEON)
Jenkins 2a:
Loot: Shield on a stick
Health: Fine
Location: Tanglemaze
Fallen Island:
The island that the first portion of the game took place on, which has since fallen to rest in the center of a ruined and corrupted city. Most of the features that were present on it have been consumed by corruption, but there are still a few patches of jagged emeralds on it in some areas. In the center of the island is an enormous white stele, which seems to be the source of the corruption which has overtaken the nearby areas. This area serves as the spawn point for new players, but is also incredibly dangerous, both due to spawncampers and the local wildlife.
Ruined Palace Gates:
To the west of the fallen island lies the ruins of a great palace, which has all-but collapsed from the weight of the corruption that has grown on it. From the gates in front of it, one can see that a few of the upper portions are miraculously unaltered, but at the rate that the corruption is spreading, one can only wonder how much longer these towers will last.
Tanglemaze:
A short distance to the east of the fallen island lies the tanglemaze, a twisting mess of corrupted houses that now look and act more like a labyrinth than a housing development. As its name would suggest, it's very easy to get lost in, but most of the monsters inhabiting it have no trouble navigating it, being tall or agile enough to climb over the walls instead of going around them. Because of these dangers, looters travelling through the tanglemaze are advised to keep one eye on the walls above them and the other on the road behind them.
Jungle of Flesh:
Looking like it may have once been a business district of some sort, the jungle of flesh is an area of corrupted hotels and skyscrapers, located to the north of the fallen island. The corruption has hit this area of the city worse than others, and many of the buildings have been almost completely grown over, without so much as a window visible through the thick layers of white flesh, which have begun to form a sort of canopy over the streets. Some of the buildings near the edges of the area are still accessible, however, they are frequently used as roosts by the many types of monsters that make the jungle of flesh their home.
RUINED PALACE:Behind the gates of the ruined palace is a large walled-off courtyard, which has barely managed to resist the corruption that rages outside. To the left of the gates is a building that looks like it may have once housed the castle guard, but the most prominent feature of the area is the immense palace at the far end, which is at least a hundred feet high, with a large tower at the top of it that rises another hundred feet still. Looking at it, you remember the reason why you came here in the first place: It must be filled to the brim with goddamned loot!