((Haha, good to have you back, +!!scientist!!+! And don't worry, neither rain nor snow nor 504 errors shall prevent me from updating this... erm...
collection of terrors? Yeah, that rhymes...))
Oh sweet Jesus.
Engage Tactical Plan 72b
Activate plan GDT.
By that I mean the PM.
"Well blow me down!"
Shiver me timbers!
((Just watch as my next loot is an iron mask. 
))
I am Dr. Beirus. All hail Greenveria
BOMB GO!
(Derm spd: 4+2+2)
(Jenkins spd: 4-2)
(Ed spd: 5)
(Systar spd: 5+1)
(Beirus aff: 1+6) No, using affinity is not a typo here
(SMASH spd: 2+1)
(Derm dex: 3+2)
(Derm dex: 4+2)
(Derm dex: 3+2)
(SMASH spd: 4+1)
(SMASH end: 3+1)
(Jenkins spd: 4-2)
(Jenkins end: 3)
(Jenkins end: 5)
(Jenkins end: 2)
(Beirus aff: 4+6)
(Beirus aff: 2+6)
(Beirus aff: 2+6)
(SMASH spd: 5+1-2)
(SMASH end: 6+1)
(SMASH end: 5+1)
(SMASH end: 1+1)
(Systar dex: 4+1)
(Ed spd: 2)
(Systar str: 6-3)
(Ed end: 1+1)
(Ed dex: 2-3)
(Ed end: 2+1)
(Systar end: 6)
Derm climbs into his tank and fires a volley of hot lead, explosives, and plasma at SMASH and Jenkins, completely annihilating the dimensionally displaced businessman, and blowing a large chunk out of SMASH's thigh. Beirus flies across the arena like a green streak of lightning and arrives in the tank moments later, firing a second volley and magically assisting all of the shots so that they fly directly towards SMASH, who manages to endure the first few rounds before a glob of superheated plasma goes straight through his head. No longer content with just enjoying the lightshow from the safety of his tower, Systar runs outside, heading towards Ed, who is just about to lob a mine at the supertank. Even as weak as he is, he manages to make a pretty good sized gash on Ed's arm with his aluminum shanks, and as it turns out, that's all that he really needed to do. Ed drops his mine in shock, and the thing goes off, this time calling down a great bolt of lightning from the sky, reducing Ed to a small pile of hot ash.
(Derm luk: 6+6)
As the smoke and superheated gas clears, Derm notices a funny feeling on his face and notices that he has grown a quite spectacular mustache, spanning nearly twelve feet across from end to end. With a little concentration, he finds that he can actually manipulate it, transforming it into a pair of hands or wings or all sorts of other shapes.
(Beirus luk: 1+6+5)
Pushing Derm's magnificent stache out of his face with his forcefield, Beirus feels something hard atop his head, and finds that he now wears an ornate white pith helmet, with a long brass spike at the top. The entire thing is very heavily decorated, and there is an insignia on the front in the shape of a golden heart with two swords piercing through it. While he doesn't feel any different, Beirus has this uncanny feeling that this will come in very handy in the near future.
(Systar luk: 1+1)
With Ed the Idiot dead, Systar's hoard of dollar-store weaponry increases by one, with the addition of a plain wooden rocking horse. A sticker on the side of it claims that it comes with a cap pistol as part of a package deal, but sadly there is no cap pistol to be found anywhere nearby.
Get Outta Da Watah!!!
You get outta da watah, and prepare for WAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH!
JENKINS, SMASH, AND ED ARE DEAD! BOB SPAWNS AS ORANGE, FLIMSY WIZARD SPAWNS AS BROWN, AND DARREN KELLEY SPAWNS AS PURPLE!(Bob luk: 3)
Bob's waiver transforms into a very average shotgun, befitting of the veryy average man that he is.
(Flimsy luk: 3+6)
Flimsy's waiver turns into a violin and bow carved from polished lapis lazuli. The whole thing seems to have a rose-petal motif, and at the end of the bow is a long spike made to look like a plant's thorn.
(Darren luk: 6)
Darren's waiver becomes an ornate steel sword, with a jagged blade and a human skull on the hilt. Along with his facial hair, it gives him a very Disney-Villain esque look.
Derm (Red): Metal sleep-laser turban, big damn tank with big damn guns, gigantic mustache
Beirus II (Blue): Maaaagic cape, fancy pith helmet
Bob (Orange): Perfectly normal shotgun
The Roach (White): Nothing
Flimsy Wizard (Brown): Blue rose violin
Darren Kelley (Purple): Bad guy sword
Systar (Pink): Pirate cape, aluminum shanks, rocking horse
Gerald Londeral (Yellow): X-ray bow
Poll
Author
Topic: Looter's Delight 3: STILL ALIVE (Read 49374 times)