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[scriver]

Aw, I thought it meant that landless could be nicknamed Penis.

Could still always name him Snorre

[TD1]

Some late fourteenth century English poetry for you. I've rendered it into modern English for convenience, though the original is readable with some effort.

Were I a man that house held,
If any woman with me dwelled,
There is no friar but he were geld
Should come within my house.

It goes on to say the friar will not stop until he gets a woman alone and puts a child "With-inne" (or maybe two children at once).

*Chuckle*

[Frumple]

In the evening, Gao Peng was busy cooking in the kitchen.

He opened the fridge. A lot of vegetables and meat were in there, but no bones. Da Zi crawled over childishly, raising its tail and head and staring at its master. Gao Peng noticed it and turned around, only to see Da Zi giving him a pitiful look.

“What’s wrong?”

“Eat, eat pork ribs!” Da Zi excitedly waved both its claws.

“There are no pork ribs left at home,” Gao Peng said helplessly.

“Eat. Eat!” Da Zi did not give up. It moved in circles anxiously, making it look just like a purple donut.

“How? Do you think I can create pork ribs out of thin air?!” Gao Peng said without any restraint.

Da Zi was a little sad. Both the antennas on its head drooped downwards weakly.

Suddenly, Da Zi thought of something. It sneakily glanced towards the unnoticing Dumby…

Da Zi’s action attracted the attention of Gao Peng. “What are you looking at?”

Gao Peng looked in the direction Da Zi was staring. His hand movements slowed as he saw Dumby seated on the sofa, watching TV without noticing anything. A blue flame floated and burned quietly in the empty skull.

After that, Gao Peng lowered his head and locked gazes with Da Zi. A man and a beast, weird emotion filling their eyes.

…

“Come here. Dumby, come here.” Gao Peng kept urging Dumby from the kitchen.

Dumby went to the kitchen as Gao Peng tricked it.

A huge pot was in the kitchen. Boiling water filled the pot, and in the water were onion, ginger, garlic, wolfberry, angelica, and various spices.

Is this something the master prepared for me? Dumby was slightly excited, even a little bit grateful. Although I am just a skeleton, and I cannot eat anything, the master still did not forget me!

“Dumby, come here. I’ll help you wash your hand.” Gao Peng called Dumby over to the sink. He rubbed Dumby’s bones gently to clean off the dirt on them. The grey and silver bones seemed to be shining.

Dumby watched the scene unfold in silence. Warmth filled its heart. Although its bones were cold and its soul flame did not have any heat, its mind burned fiercely.

Master looks so cool when he’s serious!

Dumby swore in its heart, Master, I will definitely protect… Eh? Master, why are you pulling me?

Dumby did not understand why it was tugged over to the side of the pot.

“Dumby, come here and test the temperature of the water,” Gao Peng said to Dumby.

Dumby nodded and put both its hands inside the pot without any hesitation. At the same time, Gao Peng observed Dumby anxiously; if Dumby showed any sign of not adapting, he would immediately lift Dumby’s hands.

However, it looked like the temperature at this level was nothing to Dumby, and Dumby did not express any discomfort. On the contrary, it seemed to think the experience was interesting.

As time passed, the soup in the pot gradually began to give off a pleasant fragrance.

Da Zi raised its head excitedly, shaking its head in joy.

After half an hour, the pot of soup was finally ready.

In the living room, Da Zi licked the soup happily while Dumby stood quietly in the corner and leaned on the wall. They… As long as they like it.

[SquatchHammer]

Dis comment

[MrRoboto75]

[DRESS THUDS]

[itisnotlogical]

Spoiler: nice (click to show/hide)

[Eric Blank]

Fucking with the Indian scammer that keeps calling because Bill was dumb enough to let them access our computer and jack our credit card. Now when they call I accuse them of not "cleaning our windows" like they promised to and threaten to leave a bad review. Next they call and claim to be renewing our software subscription, I tell them we already cancelled, they need to update their database, they insist they're right, so I ask what phone number they think they're calling. Of course the number they give me is totally wrong, so I just inform them they're illiterate and hang up. My name is Ben now according to them. I just made it up on the spot.

What should I use next? Benito's pizza how can I take your order?

This is the only entertainment we get.

[Iduno]

Bill was dumb enough to let them access our computer and jack our credit card.

Kind of burying the lede there. Sorry to hear about your credit card.

[Dunamisdeos]

Spoiler: nice (click to show/hide)

[Kagus]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8o-VGnFaStg

*Coffee machine moves farther away

[dragdeler]

-

[A Thing]

Ehh nevermind

[Reelya]

I read this headline

NASA Launches a New Earth-like Planet Hunting Telescope Using a Giant Balloon

Except there was a newline in it, so I read it as "NASA Launches a New Earth-like Planet", which really made it seem like NASA is upping their game these days.

[scriver]

If NASA can not come to the Mountain, then the Mountain must come to NASA

[Kagus]

More from the same dude as the last link, this time we learn how firefighters are born and what to do in case of spinal injury!