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[applesauce machine]

>Swerve violently in an effort to stun/daze/confuse/hinder criminal. Nothing bad could possibly come of this.

[Dermonster]

> Take control of his seat. Spout leathery appendages and restrain hooligan.

[Fniff]

Bastard! I was considering reviving this. D'oh well...

[Dermonster]

Do it anyway.

[Gatleos]

>Swerve violently in an effort to stun/daze/confuse/hinder criminal. Nothing bad could possibly come of this.

[1] In a panic, you mash down the accelerator and blast through a red light intersection! Swerving probably would have turned out better than this. In addition, your shoe gets caught between the pedal and a bunch of empty cans of energy drink. The bus speeds out of control, and the gunman seems unfazed!

> Take control of his seat. Spout leathery appendages and restrain hooligan.

[2] You are briefly struck with the delusion that you have magical powers of some sort. Needless to say, they don't work so well.

Bastard! I was considering reviving this. D'oh well...

[1] As players slowly drift away from your game, you wonder where you went so wrong. The thread continues to derail more and more, the accretion of topic error eventually morphing it into something else entirely. Years later you stumble across the thread, now being used to discuss the merits of socialism in a theoretical post-scarcity society.

[Fniff]

Turn my RTD I abandoned due to laziness and slight confusion into your own, do you? I shall strike back! Expect an invasion force from me by the end of tomorrow!

[Gatleos]

Eh, mathematically speaking mine's not going anywhere. Someone would already have to have been reading this thread to know the game started.

It just sounded better than "BUMP".

[Fniff]

(Yes, this is back now! Rejoice or not!)
Turn 5 (8:25)

doop

You wait out on the front for a bit for a reason you can't quite comprehend.

Get inside vehicle of mine to get to destination! If no vehicle, Summon entity. Outside. Try to get a large flying one.

You rush out of your bedroom, down the stairs, and out of the house. Right, time to practice this. Think big, leathery, tame dragon. You concentrate, trying to think big and leathery dragon. DRAGON. DRAGON. DRAGON! [2, 6] _rabbit WAIT NO NO NO-- Shit, it's a rabbit. A dire rabbit. That means it has very, very long teeth and an aggressive posture. It's around the size of a housecat and is currently growling. You didn't know rabbits could do that. You wonder if you should fear for your life or not.

Get a drink of water and swish it around in my mouth. Then embark on my quest to take the Luas to the interview.

[2] The drink of water doesn't really improve your taste. Now, to the Luas! You walk out of the house and are halfway to the nearest Luas stop (Goldenbridge) in about five minutes, when a beggar comes up to you and launches into an extremely long diatribe about how he lost his family in a knitting accident and has had to spent the last ten years licking the cocaine off the nostrils of real estate salesmen for pennies, so could you please give him some money so that he will almost certainly not spend on heroin? Oh God, it's hard enough ignoring beggars on the street. Are they starting to get aggressive since it's summer and a new batch has taken over after the old ones died of the cold? What do you do to avoid looking like an absolute prick?

Last task, clean teeth

[1] You clean your teeth, but then mistake a bottle of sink cleaning agents for mouthwash. OH FUCK OW OW OW. [4] You manage to spit it out before swallowing it, but your tongue feels like it just got chemically burnt. Probably not serious, though... [5] That even cleaned your teeth fairly well! Hurrah for drinking poisonous cleaning agents!

While waiting for the bus, do some skate tricks and collect tips from passing pedestrians

[2] You attempt to do a wicked ollie on a fencepost, man, but it turns out that Tony Hawk was completely wrong, and you end up falling on your ass. [1-1=0] Oh god, literally everyone is laughing at you. Including yourself, which just makes you look insane. The laughing continues to ramp up to a nightmarish extent like everyone in Dublin is laughing at you until suddenly it cuts off, like no-one was laughing at all. Either everyone just stopped finding it funny or you had a minor psychotic break over failing a skateboarding trick. The bus still isn't here.

Wait patiently for the bus to arrive. Once it does, hop on. Make sure it's the one actually going to my destination

Trying to ignore your friend laughing psychotically and then screaming while holding his head, you politely wait for the bus. However, you are getting a very bad feeling that it isn't coming...

House Layout

Spoiler: Gatleos (click to show/hide)

Gatleos
Luck: Worrying.
Inventory:
Pay-As-You-Go Phone (30 Minutes Left)
Business Casual Clothing
Skateboard
Known Spells: Elemental Summoning
Location: Lissadel Avenue (Bus Stop)

Spoiler: Xantalos (click to show/hide)

Norton Mackdaddy
Luck: Good.
Inventory:
Pay-As-You-Go Phone (30 Minutes Left)
T-shirt and Jeans
Bright Pink (And Dried Green/Yellow Vomit Stained) Suit Jacket
Known Spells: Alter Time
Location: Front

Spoiler: Nirur Torir (click to show/hide)

Nathan
Luck: Good.
Inventory:
Pay-As-You-Go Phone (30 Minutes Left)
Tuxedo
Cheap Cologne
Wallet (€15)
Spell: Read Mind
Location: Benbulbin Road

Spoiler: Dermonster (click to show/hide)

Derm der dermy Derm
Luck: Good.
Inventory:
Pay-As-You-Go Phone (30 Minutes Left)
Bedclothes
Toothbrush
Spell: Summon Entity
Status Effects: Injured (-1 to agility tasks)
Location: Front

Spoiler: Pancaek (click to show/hide)

Herman Kropp
Luck: Good.
Inventory:
Pay-As-You-Go Phone (30 Minutes Left)
Snazzy Suit
Toothbrush
Spell: Summon Entity
Location: Lissadel Avenue (Bus Stop)

Spoiler: Scapheap (click to show/hide)

Helen Gorbachev
Luck: Good.
Inventory:
Pay-As-You-Go Phone (30 Minutes Left)
Militant Outfit
Spell: Read Mind
Location: Upstairs Bathroom

[Dermonster]

Target rabbit with summon entity. Overlay it with TAME, SUPER LARGE, WINGED, and REINFORCED in that order!

[Nirur Torir]

"Ja, ja, maren brakenspeil."

Nod, say something that sounds vaguely German, then continue towards the Luas with purposeful strides.

[Xantalos]

Cast Alter Time on the area around the dire rabbit when it attacks.

Then walk back inside and wash my jacket a bit.

[Pancaek]

Start jogging towards my destination. Take side streets and shortcuts as they are available. Go at a steady pace, but not so fast that I become exhausted. TRy and gauge if I'll arrive on time.

[Gatleos]

Skate toward my destination at max speed, taking any skate trick-based shortcuts I can find

[scapheap]

Go nick a bike and cycle to location

[Fniff]

(I should have worked out some travel mechanics before I started out with this mission... D'oh well.)
Turn 7: (8:30)

Target rabbit with summon entity. Overlay it with TAME, SUPER LARGE, WINGED, and REINFORCED in that order!

You do that... but you realize that you can't overlay the spell. You start seeing something terribly ichorous start to slip through reality! [4] However, you manage to stop the spell in time. There is a slight shockwave and you start hearing several people in the area start screaming because their heads are now filled with visions of universes beyond any understanding, but due to the standard wizardly response to being exposed to mindblasting phenomena (Insert your index fingers into your ear drums, close your eyes, and repeatedly yell at the top of your voice 'LALALALALALA I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOUR UNSPEAKABLE HORROR LALALALALA'), you manage to avoid going insane. As in, more so then usual.

"Ja, ja, maren brakenspeil."

Nod, say something that sounds vaguely German, then continue towards the Luas with purposeful strides.

[2] The beggar says "Das ist nicht Deutsch.". Why are they also educated nowadays? You try to stride past the beggar, [2] but he's following now. Like a shark smells blood, he smells social embarrassment. You fear that your public image is going down every second.

Cast Alter Time on the area around the dire rabbit when it attacks.

Then walk back inside and wash my jacket a bit.

You cast alter time on the area around the Rabbit, [3] which is barely out of the way of your location. You feel a bit out of sync with the time stream. [4 4] You wash your jacket a bit in the kitchen sink, but find the water is delayed in reaching the jacket. After a few seconds, it reaches the jacket and actually cleans it up fairly well! Well, there's a few horrible stains on it, but it should work for now!

Start jogging towards my destination. Take side streets and shortcuts as they are available. Go at a steady pace, but not so fast that I become exhausted. TRy and gauge if I'll arrive on time.

At a vague estimate, if you manage to get there in 35 minutes (7 turns), you'd have made it in the nick of time. [4, 2] You manage to run a quarter of the way there without getting tired... Until you realize an ex girlfriend is on the way. Tina, a not-really-that-bad girl who just happened to be every so slightly very, very annoying. She's been quite cut up about it and she still thinks there's potential for something still. This has the potential to be very embarrassing and an utter trainwreck of a social interaction.

Skate toward my destination at max speed, taking any skate trick-based shortcuts I can find

[6] You start skating, jumping off conveniently placed ramps and oddly grindable wires toward your location. You're already halfway there when you ramp off a car and then violently land into a [2] very old lady, who falls to the ground and starts struggling under your weight. [1] And a tour bus is rapidly passing with a lot of people with cameras on board. This is going to be a very interesting five minutes.

Go nick a bike and cycle to location

[2] You find a bike with a lock on it chained to a wall beside a house. You try to smash it off with a kick. [6] You break it off neatly, but you hear someone very gruffly yell "That's me fucking bike!" from the house. You get on and start peddling. [4,4] You pick up a decent speed... but so does the very angry man with a hurley stick. This is going to be very painful if you don't think of something.