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Author Topic: Bizarre Magical Items  (Read 86866 times)

Khan Boyzitbig

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #270 on: September 21, 2017, 08:03:36 am »

Given that a black widow must be provoked considerably before it would even consider biting that makes for a useful source of live Halloween decorations.
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FallacyofUrist

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #271 on: September 21, 2017, 08:06:09 am »

"Wait, are those real?"

"... yes."

"*screams* *runs away*"
~~~
Pumpkin Turkey Pie: A pumpkin pie. Anyone who eats it is seen by anyone who hasn't eaten it as a turkey, and anyone who hasn't eaten it and sees someone who has eaten it has an urge to eat turkey.
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wierd

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #272 on: September 21, 2017, 08:22:42 am »

considering that those spiders are highly territorial, how many are actually, you know-- still alive?
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cronos5010

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #273 on: September 21, 2017, 08:29:04 am »

I am not sure if this has already been done yet because I have yet to read the entirety of this thread yet, but here it is anyway.

The Sword of Damocles: Automatically suspends itself over the head of its target when it is swung. Only falls when the target achieves some measure of fame, causing it to deal the damage of a normal and unenchanted sword if the target fails to get away from it in time.
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overseer05-15

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #274 on: September 21, 2017, 11:01:35 am »

bug spray

This position is dispersed as an aerosol , and attracts bugs.
Greater Bug Spray: Spray out assorted bugs.
Grater Bug Spray: Attracts bugs wielding graters. Mostly cheese graters. Yes, they're big enough to wield them.
Greater Bag Spray: Sprays bugsized bags.
Greater Spray Bug: large, roachlike insect that sprays assorted other bugs when threatened.
Bug Spray of Spray Spray Bugs: A spray that spray out bugs that spray out Greater Bug Sprays that spray out Greater Spray Bugs. May have been created in a thaumaturgical accident of epic proportions.
I tried to 1-up this but couldn't. Just wow.
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adult food like, I presume, steak and potatoes and tax forms,

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NAV

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #275 on: September 21, 2017, 11:37:21 am »

Greater Spray of Spray Spray Bugs Crater: The crater caused by the Greater Spray of Spray Spray Bugs accident. It's full of bugs.
« Last Edit: September 21, 2017, 11:50:04 am by NAV »
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Egan_BW

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #276 on: September 21, 2017, 12:22:40 pm »

Kobold Ring
Allows the wearer to understand and speak Kobold utterances. Unfortunately that's not a real language, and is just gibberish.
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Ozarck

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #277 on: September 21, 2017, 01:18:57 pm »

So, we'd finally have a grasp on Eganspeak!

Helgoland

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #278 on: September 21, 2017, 09:41:55 pm »

Cobalt Ring: Surprisingly useless.
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Rethi-Eli

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #279 on: September 21, 2017, 09:53:03 pm »

Circlet of Mediocrity: The wearer always rolls a 10 for 20-sided die rolls.

Ring of the Starved: The wearer is constantly hungry.

Osmium Shortsword: A shortsword made out of a heavy and malleable metal.
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hops

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #280 on: September 21, 2017, 10:04:57 pm »

More along the line of silly than useless...
Dagger of Featherfall: Grant feather fall to creatures stabbed by the dagger.
Feather of Daggerfall: Transport tickled creatures to the Elemental Plane of Daggers.
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helmacon

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #281 on: September 21, 2017, 10:07:05 pm »

Hammer of Healing

All the pain of a hammer, all the healing of a health potion.
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hops

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #282 on: September 21, 2017, 10:10:47 pm »

Hammer of Healing

All the pain of a hammer, all the healing of a health potion.
So, Fire Emblem healers.
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overseer05-15

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #283 on: September 22, 2017, 08:13:59 pm »

Hammer of Healing

All the pain of a hammer, all the healing of a health potion.
So, Fire Emblem healers.
NUNSWITHAXES
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Ozarck

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Re: Silly/Useless Magical Items
« Reply #284 on: September 22, 2017, 09:02:48 pm »

Teh Plastic rings of constricting. There are trillions of them, floating in space, getting caught in the engines of every passing space vessel, causing slow-down and inefficiency. Yes, even the engines that are sealed from the environment. The only known ways to get rid of the rings, is to first get them caught in your engine, and second, remove them either by hand or by means of fire. The second method is generally frowned upon by the saner spacefaring species, and by most of the less sane ones as well.
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