Interrupt wife with a kiss.
Allow the "goddes of love" to prove her title is correct. In a completely G-rated way.
[1] She's not falling for that this time.
[3] Sure. She uses her new charms and revived youth... ta tell ye ta take out the trash like a good husband.
Use drunken rage to punch a wall down!
((Man the dice have really been against me, haven't they?))
[4] HURR-DURR! Ye smash yer fist agin' tha wall. It bleeds but ye shift tha stone block.
Get more Frenchmen!
Build more powerboats!
[3] Ye hire two Frenchmen, brothers as it were.
[1] Ye be all outta chain!
Find Devil Fruit, which was mysteriously lying in my cell.
[2]What be this "Devil Fruit" ye be gabbing about? All that be lyin' in yer sell is a mug o' stagnant water an' some moldy bread!
USE VIKINGS TO FORCE LOCAL FARMERS TO GET SUPPLIES TO GO PILLAGE STUFF
[1]Yer vikings be too busy pillaging tha local tavern. That is ta say, gettin' their grog on!
USE VIKINGS TO PILLAGE SILVERSMITH
[2]Tha silversmith an' his apprentices run ye off again with fine silverware. They fling it with such accuracy as ta take out half o' yer vikings' eyes. Noone has tha spirit ta raid after that.
Let Worldmaster27 join my pirate fleet because I feel bad and also want a monopoly on the emerging powerboat industry.
Set up a monopoly on running bootleg rum.
[5]Ye let him into yer pirate fleet an' give him some fundin' ta get more chain.
[3]Impossible! Rum be too protected a commodity. An' ye don' wanna go up against the East India Trading Company.
Strap a pair of sea turtles to my feet and make my way back to port.
[1] Tha only be workin' in tha movies Jack.
Throw me arm around a random passerby, harmonize with them and Jim in a shanty as we stumble down the street!
[2]Ye find yerself tumblin' ta tha ground as the minister moves away from yer arm. He looks down at ye disapprovingly in yer drunkenness. Ye be too drunk ta even tell who he be.