Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Yoink]

>Improv an awesome sea shanty about me an' ol' Jim's past misadventures, sing it as loud and tunefully as I am able, quaffing rum between verses. Be sure to embellish and exaggerate things plenty!

[TamerVirus]

BURN DOWN A CHURCH LIKE AN ANGRY VIKING-PIRATE!

[CaptainMcClellan]

Drive the sedan in a circle!

Don't allow my wife to prove to me that her title is correct.

[5]Ye drive the future vessel in a circle, makin' a rut in tha ground.
[4]Ye don' return home for days an' have no contact with yer wife.

Invent the motorboat!

[5]Ye invent tha power-ship by attachin' three rudders to a gear an' chain mechanism powered by a single Frenchman!

Raid to stock on supplies

[3]Ye knick some flour an' ale from tha tavern, but 'tis not enow fer a sea voyage.

Go hijack other ships to build a pirate fleet. Destroy them if they do not comply.

[5]Ye are startin' ta make a name fer yerself Dread Pirate Beirus. Ye amass a fleet of ten vessels all captained by loyal cronies. Ye also have several nice hostages out o' tha ones ye didn't send ta the bottom o' the sea.

ARSONIZE THE SILVERSMITH

[2]Ye knock the coals outta tha silversmith's forge, he stamps 'em out afore they make a blaze and proceeds ta finish chasin' ye outta his home.

Find me a ship.

[4] Ye find a vessel down at the shipyards belongin' ta a man hard on his luck. He says fer fifteen hundred pounds, he'll part with his price scooner.

Draw cutlass.

Row for yah lives or I will take off ye heads!

[3]Yer men row faster, but discontent grows. Ye better stymy those murmurin's afore they take yer head!

>Improv an awesome sea shanty about me an' ol' Jim's past misadventures, sing it as loud and tunefully as I am able, quaffing rum between verses. Be sure to embellish and exaggerate things plenty!

[3]Ye be too drunk ta understand, but Jim sings along anyway, an' ye have a great time. The tavernmaster asks ye ta quiet down cos ye be disturbin' his other patrons.

BURN DOWN A CHURCH LIKE AN ANGRY VIKING-PIRATE!

[1] Arrrr!!! Religion be somethin' taken very seriously in tha age o' pirates! Ye be put in shackles an' hauled away. Ye stand trial, the judge is also the Archdeacon o' tha church. He has ye beaten, thrown in jail, an' fined fer all tha coin in yer purse.

  (( It may seem harsh, but that's how it'd actually play out if you go caught trying to burn down a church in that age. Sadly, the dice saw to it you did. Actually, that's kinda merciful for most of the time of pirates. You must've gotten a more kindly judge. ))

[Lyeos]

Return home.

Do nothing.

[blazing glory]

Yeargh! The fighting will stave off mutiny!

Board the enemy ship! By now we'll have reached it!

[Beirus]

Go get some weapons for myself and my fleet.

If the weapons aren't great, get better ones. Only the finest for Dread Pirate Beirus

[TamerVirus]

Dig a hole and escape from THE BRIG!

[Yoink]

Tell the barkeep to shut his piehole and get me another drink.

[BlitzDungeoneer]

Kill him, proceed to commandeer the ship.

[Worldmaster27]

Create more power-boats!

Offer them to Dread Pirate Berius in exchange for joining his fleet!

[poketwo]

PILLAGE THE TOWN FOR SUPPLIES
REAL VIKING MEN TIME

[LordSlowpoke]

PILLAGE THE TOWN FOR SUPPLIES
REAL VIKING MEN TIME

PILLAGE THE TOWN FOR VIKINGS

[CaptainMcClellan]

Return home.

Do nothing.

[4]Ye drive tha future vessel home. Ye dunno how ta park it though, so ye kinda incorporate it into yer house. Should be totally fine.
[1]Yer wife is immediately on ye ta do tha chores. Starting with patching up tha hole in tha wall that ye made with the future vessel. Ye try ta explain that tha future vessel blocks up tha hole all by itself, but she's not buyin' what yer sellin'. She continues to nag about a dozen other things ye ought be doin'

Yeargh! The fighting will stave off mutiny!

Board the enemy ship! By now we'll have reached it!

[2]Yer men board the enemy ship, right at that point tha wind picks up and blows yer ship away from the enemy. Ye shoulda thought to anchor it if ye were gonna board. Ah well, what do ye do now? It's only yer first mate and the cook still on board with ye.

Go get some weapons for myself and my fleet.

If the weapons aren't great, get better ones. Only the finest for Dread Pirate Beirus

[5]Ye outfit yerself with tha finest guns and munitions yer money can buy.
[2]Just fer good measure, ye buy all tha rest o' tha weapons too, even though most o' em are really shoddy an probably dangerous.

Dig a hole and escape from THE BRIG!

[1] Ye be in land jail, not in a brig. Ye also have no diggin' implements, which be more important than semantics.

Tell the barkeep to shut his piehole and get me another drink.

[2]Tha barkeep kindly throws ye and yer buddy out inta tha gutters escorts ye and yer comrade outside.

Kill him, proceed to commandeer the ship.

[1] He screams fer help an' the Port Authority, who happened ta be on the way ta examine another ship fer contraband, arrests ye.

Create more power-boats!

Offer them to Dread Pirate Berius in exchange for joining his fleet!

[1]Ye be outta Frenchmen!
[6]Ye try ta broker tha deal anyway, Dread Pirate Beirus is very interested in yer design, but he uses a ballistic discount ta force ya ta hand over tha existin' power-boat an' ye get no weapons. Actually, on second thought, he throws ye a single unloaded pistol outta pity.

PILLAGE THE TOWN FOR SUPPLIES
REAL VIKING MEN TIME

[1]Yer viking crew be too busy with other things.

PILLAGE THE TOWN FOR SUPPLIES
REAL VIKING MEN TIME

PILLAGE THE TOWN FOR VIKINGS

[4]Ye recruit a baker's dozen vikings, including a few from Poketwo's crew!

[Lyeos]

Interrupt wife with a kiss.

Allow the "goddes of love" to prove her title is correct. In a completely G-rated way.

[TamerVirus]

Use drunken rage to punch a wall down!

((Man the dice have really been against me, haven't they?))