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Author Topic: Uskarian Adventures : It's dead, Jim.  (Read 79204 times)

Gamerlord

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Re: Uskarian Adventures : Creationism and the tomato.
« Reply #495 on: May 06, 2014, 02:26:00 am »

((I'd watch it.))

Harry Baldman

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Re: Uskarian Adventures : Creationism and the tomato.
« Reply #496 on: May 06, 2014, 09:35:31 am »

"Was there anybody interesting living in the north to warrant more attention than the Epraxians? And does magic get pulled from the gods, or do gods use magic themselves? Or neither? Many apologies for being this ignorant, but one hardly gets to speak to someone such as you every day, yes? Perhaps you have a personal assistant I could badger with questions instead? Somebody you don't like very much, preferably?"
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Pancaek

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Re: Uskarian Adventures : Birds, cabbages, and the battle of the bards
« Reply #497 on: May 07, 2014, 04:29:42 pm »

In some rather pleasant looking ruins, two people are conversing with a minor god
So... Lady Loradove?
"Was there anybody interesting living in the north to warrant more attention than the Epraxians? And does magic get pulled from the gods, or do gods use magic themselves? Or neither? Many apologies for being this ignorant, but one hardly gets to speak to someone such as you every day, yes? Perhaps you have a personal assistant I could badger with questions instead? Somebody you don't like very much, preferably?"

Seanna, determined to get on with it, tries to ask the deity about lady loradove once more.

"Ah yes, lady Loradove. Well-"

But once again, they are both interrupted by Nosegay, who is simply overflowing with questions.

"-guess I'll have to answer your questions first, then. There wasn't anyone particularely interesting living in the north, no. It's just that creating blizzards takes a while and I wanted to hang around and see how my yeti was doing. They grow up so fast, you know?

As for magic, well, I can't exactly go spoil that for you now. It's all very muddled and confusing anyhow. I think it doesn't all come form one place, but it's not really my field of expertise.

And this is an excellent suggestion! I shall send one of my assistants with you, for a while at least. TOOH KAHN, GET OVER HERE"


Out of the surrounding trees a small, black form comes swooping down and lands on nosegay's new hat. It bends down it head, an inquisitive eye inspecting Nosegay, whose field of vision is obscured by a rather large and colouful beak.

"There, Tooh Kahn will accompany you for a while, and answer any further questions you might have about whatever it is your little brain can come up with. Now, I'm under the impression that the pretty lady wants to ask something about lady Loradove, yes?"

In a rural little' farming community, vegetable hell is breaking loose
"NOOOO~"

Run while hacking away at attacking vegetables.
Getting assaulted by animated cabbages from all sides, the team jumps into action. The large warrior grip shis axe and [7] sweeps in arc, cleaving thorugh at least 5 cabbages that were about to assault him. The archer [8] in a display of professionalism keeps compeltely calm and lets loose arrow after arrow, nailing at least 4 cabbages to the ground.

Natasha [9+1] dramatically unsheates her cutlass and takes a fencing pose, crying out in challenge. Most of the remaining cabbages divert their attention from the warrior and the archer, instead throwing themselves at the cat woman. The cabbages spin towards her, small yet sharp leaves lashing out. But natasha deftly steps out of the way each time, slicing and dicing and swatting the pesky vegetables out of the air. She even uses her sword as a bat, sending two cabbages hurtling towards the archer's face. When all is said and done, more than two dozen of the things lay ripped to shreds around her, and the remaining cabbages seem to be fleeing into the forest.

On a lonesome road
Search for people in need of Master Blacksmith Combat Rock Minstrel service. See what else I can do with my instrument.

You start following the road, hoping that you'll come across some place that has need for your particular talents. Along the way, you fiddle a bit with your instrument to see what it's capable of. You find out that by simply focusing on making music, you can make illusions of other players appear. The sounds of other players always seem to come out, but the apparitions require some serious concentration.

Furthermore, the guitar seems to have a very wide range of magical effects it can reproduce, but the more complicated you try to make it the harder it gets. It also seems that you can work the other way around. Instead of focusing on a certain effect and then producing a fitting song, you can also play a song and a fitting effect will come forth from that.


After half a day of travelling, you arrive at some sort of base. The flags of the Empire fly above the gates, and some sort of settlment has been haphazardly build just outside of the fort. You approach the gate and ask the guard on duty about work for a master blacksmith combat rock minstrel.

"Eh? I'm...not sure in your case. The blacksmith here can always use help designing weapons and engines of war for the empire. But...combat rock minstrel, you say? Those entertainers in that camp outside of the walls are having some sort of contest. Battle of the bards, I think they call it "
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Gamerlord

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Re: Uskarian Adventures : Birds, cabbages, and the battle of the bards
« Reply #498 on: May 07, 2014, 10:11:33 pm »

Seanna blushes slightly at being called pretty.

We were hired by Lady Loradove to help remove a curse, which we followed back to you *blah blah exposition* and we would like to know what it would take for you to remove it, assuming you put it there in the first place of course.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Uskarian Adventures : Birds, cabbages, and the battle of the bards
« Reply #499 on: May 08, 2014, 06:28:00 am »

"Ah! Sir Tooh Kahn, I presume?I shall devote my undivided attention to you in a moment." Nosegay says to the bird, then turns to the others.

"First thing we would like to know, good sir, is how deserved lovely Lady Loradove's curse is. We have heard her side of the story, but not yours - I freely assume the one you might provide will be slightly more entertaining, yes?"

Speak!
« Last Edit: May 08, 2014, 06:33:08 am by Harry Baldman »
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smurfingtonthethird

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Re: Uskarian Adventures : Birds, cabbages, and the battle of the bards
« Reply #500 on: May 08, 2014, 06:30:56 am »

Go and compete in the battle of the bards.

They shall learn the meaning of awe.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2014, 06:38:11 am by smurfingtonthethird »
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Avis-Mergulus

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Re: Uskarian Adventures : Birds, cabbages, and the battle of the bards
« Reply #501 on: May 08, 2014, 04:53:34 pm »

Ssss. So far, so good. Guardroom?

Wait for the girl to leave, then peek into the keyhole of the door opposite mine.
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Pancaek

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Re: Uskarian Adventures : Birds, cabbages, and the battle of the bards
« Reply #502 on: May 08, 2014, 06:29:36 pm »

At some ruins

Seanna blushes slightly at being called pretty.

We were hired by Lady Loradove to help remove a curse, which we followed back to you *blah blah exposition* and we would like to know what it would take for you to remove it, assuming you put it there in the first place of course.
"Ah! Sir Tooh Kahn, I presume?I shall devote my undivided attention to you in a moment." Nosegay says to the bird, then turns to the others.

"First thing we would like to know, good sir, is how deserved lovely Lady Loradove's curse is. We have heard her side of the story, but not yours - I freely assume the one you might provide will be slightly more entertaining, yes?"

Speak!

The bird settles on Nosegays head, seemingly content.

"Right, yeah, I guess you deserve an explenation about that tart after coming all the way out here. The curse is mine indeed. So, right, Imagine this. I'm sitting here, peacefulyl contemplating my next move. Then this dolled up tart strolls up to me and asks if she can sit next to me. I say, sure, I don't mind. But then, then she starts talking. She laughs at everything I say, she keeps going on and on about the weather and whatnot. The fucking weather!"

He rubs both hands through his hair, getting rather upset and messing up his snit.

"She's a criminal, you know? But I don't have a problem with that, breaking laws can be all kinds of fun. But she's a tax evader. I mean come on, how boring can one person be. So, yeah, I cursed her. Serves her right, being so uptight. Now I suppose you two want me to lift it?"

At the stage near the empire fort
Go and compete in the battle of the bards.

They shall learn the meaning of awe.

You walk into the haphazardly build settlement, and to the grand stage. You make your way through the huge crowd and qeue up behind the line to join the tournament. After an hour or so ofwaiting and  filling in paperwork, you get shown backstage. You join the other participants behind the stage. There are lots of people here, one man shows and actual bands alike. The size of the backstage, however, seems slightly too large for only this many people. After a while a man in circus ringleader uniform shows up.

"Allright minstrels, musicians and bards alike, it's showtime. Now, I know that we're missing quite a few faces around here, but it really can't be helped, what with this fog business. Anyway, it seems like we've got a few new faces as well, so let me explain the contest once more.

Every round, a theme is presented to you. You will then play a piece that works will with said theme. You will be rated on a scale of 10 for choice of song and performance, for a maximum of 20 points each round. First person or team to reach 50 points wins the tournament. Now then, I'll go announce the start to the public, one of the stagehands will come and get you when it's your turn. The first theme is 'thunder', so better start thinking."


The man then walks up on stage and starts adressing the crowd

((So, yeah. You can either roll to get a song fit for the theme, or just give me a link or title of one. I'll be ever so slightly more lenient if you provide one yourself))

Ssss. So far, so good. Guardroom?

Wait for the girl to leave, then peek into the keyhole of the door opposite mine.
  You wait until the light from the girl's candle has faded away and stalk into the hallway towards the opposite door. Peeking through the keyhole, you can see that it some kind of storeroom. You can see some boxes and a few shelves with food. You can't see everything, but it seems well stocked.
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TCM

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Re: Uskarian Adventures : Birds, cabbages, and the battle of the bards
« Reply #503 on: May 08, 2014, 07:42:49 pm »

Run after the cabbages into the forest.
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smurfingtonthethird

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Re: Uskarian Adventures : Birds, cabbages, and the battle of the bards
« Reply #504 on: May 08, 2014, 07:48:28 pm »

Play Strike the Earth! Thunderstruck!Summon the holographic band.

((If I don't win with this, considering I have the most advanced instrument on the planet in my hands, something is very wrong.))
« Last Edit: May 08, 2014, 07:53:44 pm by smurfingtonthethird »
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Gamerlord

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Re: Uskarian Adventures : Birds, cabbages, and the battle of the bards
« Reply #505 on: May 08, 2014, 09:42:47 pm »

Um... Yeah. That's what we're getting paid fo - are we getting paid for this Nosegay? I don't remember her promising us anything...

Harry Baldman

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Re: Uskarian Adventures : Birds, cabbages, and the battle of the bards
« Reply #506 on: May 09, 2014, 06:10:10 am »

"Well, she has no real obligation to pay us even if we do help her, honestly. After all, she is a member of the nobility, and we are but a pair of clowns. And regaling people with stories about tax evasion is something I can't defend in any way. So I'm wondering if we really should try to lift it."

He turns to the trickster god once again.

"The main thing we could do is to try and lift the curse, obviously. But how would that help anyone? People like lovely Lady Loradove would continue on being incredibly boring and terrible, since responsibility for their actions would be lifted from their shoulders. And if there's anything a dwarf clown can't abide, it's shirking one's responsibilities. Perhaps you, good sir, have a better idea for a task? I find myself very open to ideas right now."

Ask this of the marvelous deity!
« Last Edit: May 09, 2014, 10:14:36 am by Harry Baldman »
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Gamerlord

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Re: Uskarian Adventures : Birds, cabbages, and the battle of the bards
« Reply #507 on: May 09, 2014, 06:29:25 am »

Seanna colours and scowls at Nosegay.
I am NOT a clown!

Harry Baldman

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Re: Uskarian Adventures : Birds, cabbages, and the battle of the bards
« Reply #508 on: May 09, 2014, 06:39:39 am »

Seanna colours and scowls at Nosegay.
I am NOT a clown!

"I suppose you're right. You're more the straight man, really. Still, you're not quite someone people are likely to take very seriously. Were I blessed with an appearance such as yours, my job would be quite a bit easier. But alas, genetics strike once again, and, as always, not in our favor."

A thought occurs to Nosegay.

"Ah! An idea! How about you shave off all of your fur? That way the masses and the nobles alike would learn to fear and respect you rather quickly!"
« Last Edit: May 09, 2014, 06:41:31 am by Harry Baldman »
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Gamerlord

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Re: Uskarian Adventures : Birds, cabbages, and the battle of the bards
« Reply #509 on: May 09, 2014, 08:32:54 am »

Seanna colours and scowls at Nosegay.
I am NOT a clown!

"I suppose you're right. You're more the straight man, really. Still, you're not quite someone people are likely to take very seriously. Were I blessed with an appearance such as yours, my job would be quite a bit easier. But alas, genetics strike once again, and, as always, not in our favor."

A thought occurs to Nosegay.

"Ah! An idea! How about you shave off all of your fur? That way the masses and the nobles alike would learn to fear and respect you rather quickly!"
I am not shaving my ears and tail!
((Sorry, but I envisioned Seanna and other kitsune more like this.))
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