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[darkpaladin109]

Continue punching hydra in face to establish superiority.

[kj1225]

Kyle looks confused.
"I don't speak highborn."

[The Froggy Ninja]

I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SOLDIER First]

Stop licking self.
Look at pants.
Use green magic to teleport the pants into Jane's house.

[USEC_OFFICER]

Kyle looks confused.
"I don't speak highborn."

"Dzat ees because you are a boor. Mary's eyes flick over to the dwarf and hydra fighting each other. "Dzough you are dze most compagnon agréable 'ere. Wat ees your name, Monsieur?"

[kj1225]

"Kyle madam. I'm the son of Conny the fairy and Kyle the demigod."
Kyle bows and his wings flutter.

[USEC_OFFICER]

Mary does a curtsy back. "Bonjour, Monsieur Kyle. Je suis Lady Mary Anjou, dze late. Eet ees agréable to find someone widz sense 'ere, oui?"

[kj1225]

"I do agree miss. Although the cat wearing pants is kind of amusing... Oh, you must be cold what with not having a shirt on. Let me try and solve that again."
Attempt to stop the wind again.

[USEC_OFFICER]

"I do not mind dze cold, but merci beaucoup."

[LordSlowpoke]

Turn Two

Armork

Attack the nearest animal  "This world needs to be destroyed and remade!"

[6] It then dawns upon you. It's not their duty to spill their blood, no, it always was yours to ensure that it leaves their bodies, for it is how your glory has graced the world since times immemorial.
You spy an albatross and charge towards it with utmost prejudice, yet it begins flying away the moment it notices your advance. Does that stop you? Never. Executing a jump that'd leave a tree frog ashamed, you grab it by the wings and take it crashing back down on the ground, shouting "This world needs to be destroyed and remade!" as you do so.
[6] The albatross takes the impact completely and explodes into gore, [5] the chunks of bone evading you completely. You've now covered in sticky, moist albatross bits.

Azol-Gathog

>Completely clean wooden object.

>Attempt to determine what it is.

[6] You completely remove soil from the wooden object. The wooden object turned out to be a plank. You are now at the plank's edge. [2] You completely fail to recognize what a plank would be doing here or what lies beyond the edge, though.

Lady Mary Anjou

Create the fanciest ghost dress I can possibly make! Then wear it!

[5] You create a dress out of white fabric that seems to materialize with a mere wish of yours.
It has a short narrow skirt that flares at the bottom and bell-shaped sleeves with a V-line waist. On a whim, you also create a huge bow out of dark pink fabric, created in the same manner.
It even appears to fit you.

Dwarven Dick Detective v Dave D. Davidson

Continue punching hydra in face to establish superiority.

I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[1v4] You decide to go for a haymaker and knock out one of the beast's heads. You swing... and tumble, falling onto the ground. The ground has a rock on it, you now realize. That is after falling nose first on said rock.
This breaks your nose.

[Vague] You state your intent of murderizing the dwarf.

GCat

Stop licking self.
Look at pants.
Use green magic to teleport the pants into Jane's house.

[4] You stop licking yourself and look at the pants you are currently wearing. They are dark brown and tattered, yet somehow specifically tailored for the specifics of a cat's physique.
Your usage of magic fizzles however, and while the pants have been teleported, they have been teleported onto your head. This obscures your vision a little.

Kyle Johnson

Attempt to stop the wind again.

[3] You swing your arms as you have when previously stopping the wind. Nothing seems to happen.

Spot/Listen Check:

[4] The wind appears to be picking up speed. An explosion of gore catches your attention, and there seems to be wood knocking against some other kind of wood to the south, which is loud enough to make the shriek a hydra barely noticeable.

Status:

Spoiler: Dwarven Dick Detective (click to show/hide)

Dwarf.

Clothed in torn leather trousers.
Scratched face. Broken nose. Slight bleeding.

Spoiler: Mary Anjou (click to show/hide)

Ghost.
Establishing inventory.
Clothed in a +fancy dress+, a huge bow and torn leather trousers.
Unharmed.
Dabbling Flectomancer.

Spoiler: Dave D. Davidson (click to show/hide)

Hydra.
Claiming murderous intent.
Clothed in torn leather trousers.
Unharmed.

Spoiler: Kyle Johnson (click to show/hide)

Fairy.
Practicing Aeromancy.
Clothed in torn leather trousers.
Slight headache.
Dabbling Aeromancer.

Spoiler: Armork (click to show/hide)

God of Blood.
Crashing an albatross.
Clothed in torn leather trousers. Covered in albatross gore.
Unharmed.

Spoiler: Azol-Gathog (click to show/hide)

Sponge.
Uncovering the mysteries of lumber.
Clothed in torn leather trousers.
Unharmed.

Spoiler: GCat (click to show/hide)

Cat.
Wearing pants on their head.
Clothed in torn leather trousers.
Unharmed.

Spoiler: Game Notes (click to show/hide)

I should inform you of several things:
Hand to hand combat is useless unless you get creative with what you're doing. Throwing punches will take longer than this RTD will (probably) run for to get anything done, barring something extraordinary happening.
You can fit three actions in a regular turn, and five in a combat turn. Should come in handy.
Vague actions will end up being ignored at best. Don't want to be held responsible for misinterpretation.
I want to know what sort of sacrifice Yourmaster made to the RTD gods. At least it wasn't an important turn.

Things should pick up once you get some good rolls for exploring things.

[darkpaladin109]

Surrender the fight, since the hydra's clearly the winner here. Grab the wooden plank. Draw a face on it with something in the area and rename it Plank. Ask Plank for advice on what to do.

[USEC_OFFICER]

Pleased with her handiwork, Mary pulls a lacy fan out of nowhere and takes off the disgusting leather pants. "Ah, bien meilleur, oui?" she says to Kyle, fanning herself lightly. "Fancy a stroll, Monsieur?" Mary asks, offering her hand.

1. Create some fancy stockings and shoes to cloth my bare legs and feet.
2. Help the cat remove the leather pants from its head.
3. Try to find the source of the knocking.

((Assuming that I'm not misunderstanding the three actions per turn bit. Also, what is flectomancy supposed to be?))

[kj1225]

"My Ma always told me to not turn down a lady if I can help it. Ecspecially if she can do magic or speaks highborn."

Do as the nice lady says. Then investigate the knocking. And finally try flying.

[USEC_OFFICER]

Mary smiles slightly behind her fan, "A faeery widz manners! You are getting more eenteresting widz each moment, Monsieur!"

[Yoink]

>Claim this plank as my domain. Fasten securely onto it... somehow.

>Subdue anyone who would interfere with my plank, by stuffing myself into whichever orifice they use for breathing.

>Survey the lands beyond the plank. One day soon they shall all be mine.