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[gtaguy]

Please remember we are not a laboratory guys, we are colonialists. And there is more to colonization then launching. Like what we do when we get there. Someone get on making somewhere to live .

You need a gift before you need wrapping paper.

You can't get that stuff into space without a launch system.

[IronTomato]

I am back again!
THERE IS NO ESCAPE!

I'll be a crash test dummy, or something equally adventurous.

[gtaguy]

I am back again!
THERE IS NO ESCAPE!

I'll be a crash test dummy, or something equally adventurous.

Be a raving alchemist. Turn dirt into gold, and then we can fund this goddamn space program. I've already promised my workers immortality, so if you could do that it would be great.

[ICBM pilot]

If you turn dirt into gold and somebody finds out how you did it then all of your gold will be less valuable than dirt.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Then you figure out how to turn gold into soil and make a killing selling good soil to farmers.

[gtaguy]

If you turn dirt into gold and somebody finds out how you did it then all of your gold will be less valuable than dirt.

He will be the only person that knows, no notes or anything on the subject will be written. This process will take place in a concrete room with no windows or furniture beside equipment. We will have security cameras everywhere.

[IronTomato]

That's settled then. I will be a person who turns dirt into gold.

[misko27]

That's settled then. I will be a person who turns dirt into gold.

But who would buy gold on the Moon/Mars/Europa? Better to turn gold into dirt; especially the moon, as the moon lacks dirt that isn't razor sharp.

[Dorsidwarf]

I wish to sign on as the head of Public Relations. Ny job is to both produce press releases to advertise our occasional commercial ventures, and explain to the public how our latest horrific deathtraps are really a huge leap forwards for science. Also, I fend off UN enquiries. "The nuclear weapons are clearly for protection of our private property and we re mortally offended by your accusations of imperialism and basic incompetence".

[gtaguy]

I finish up on the airtight* pod for launch! It is using a LOX and liquid hydrogen engine. It has enough O2 for an hour and a half. It is completely sealed and without windows, using the camera system to provide vision. It is flown with a computer joystick. The engines are quad-nozzled and have individual thrust control. This pod is without reaction wheels. The joystick controls engine field distribution, pointing left increases right thruster fuel and reduces left thruster fuel, which causes the craft to turn left or right.

^{*If you hear a loud hissing sound, abort immediately. Space snakes are dangerous beasts!}

Now all we need is a suicidal courageous test pilot!

[Octobomb]

Jebidiah McPilot springs to mind.

[gtaguy]

Jebidiah McPilot springs to mind.

It doesn't have a parachute, so maybe it was wise to wait for launch.

I add a parachute to the inside of the hatch, a large parachute made out of nylon. I prep everything for launching. Including a wannabe 23yr old spaceman.

[misko27]

Jebidiah McPilot springs to mind.

It doesn't have a parachute, so maybe it was wise to wait for launch.

I add a parachute to the inside of the hatch, a large parachute made out of nylon. I prep everything for launching. Including a wannabe 23yr old spaceman.

I'm not going to say this often, but remember that there are quite a lot of those spacemen out there, so don't be afraid to lose a few. Or a bunch; you know, for thoroughness.

[GreatWyrmGold]

If you turn dirt into gold and somebody finds out how you did it then all of your gold will be less valuable than dirt.

He will be the only person that knows, no notes or anything on the subject will be written. This process will take place in a concrete room with no windows or furniture beside equipment. We will have security cameras everywhere.

And if he dies/quits, we are screwed unless we find those people who hacked our computer security.

[gtaguy]

"Ready for launch. Activating rails in T minus 5..4..3..2.. Engine ignition.. Launch!"

A jet of blue-yellow flames erupts out of the back of the engines, I pull a heavy electrical switch that causes all the lights in the facility to dim greatly. The craft begins ascending up the rail with a steady climb.

"Reaching outer stratosphere, turning on climate control. Activating liquid hydrogen flow. Engines switching in T minus 3..2..1.. Engines reaching optimal acceleration."

"MC, we are leaving the rail end in 7..6..5..4..3..2.. And we have separation. Activating engine gimbaling. Beginning orbital burn."

"Switching to manual controls, receiving video feedback from internal and external cameras."

A small solar panel, antenna, camera, magnetic alignment device, and oxygen tank with electronic valve release at the end of the mesosphere from a small compartment in the back. It begins thrusting upwards into a stable orbit as the pod falls back through the atmosphere.

"Opening parachutes." The open compartment releases a drag chute that pulls out a large circular parachute. The pod lands in the Pacific Ocean as I pull up in a jetski. I get the pilot and hook the pod with a chain as I dragged the remains of the spacecraft back to the shore. The plating needed refitting, aswell as the wheels, and most of the cameras need new lenses.

"And in other news today an unidentified spacecraft launched at 10:35 this morning, we still don't know who launched this craft or why. The UN holds it's breath incase of nuclear ICBMs. I have been Jerry Lyson with the evening news."