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Author Topic: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart  (Read 11672 times)

IamanElfCollaborator

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #75 on: December 09, 2013, 05:15:25 pm »

141. Attempt to stab someone with a banana.
142. Attempt to stab someone with a pool noodle.
143. Attempt to stab someone with a strand of spaghetti.
144. Throw watermelons at white people and yell, "HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?!"
145. Throwing yaoi fanfic at people.

SOLDIER First

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #76 on: December 09, 2013, 05:19:27 pm »

146. Throwing really bad yaoi fanfic at people.
147. Dressing up as Sonic and running around saying "GOTTA GO FAST", "YOU'RE TOO SLOW", etc.
148. Dress up as Link (the original one) and be rude to women. WHen they reply, say, " Well, excuuuuse me, princess!"
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HissinhWalnuts

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #77 on: December 09, 2013, 05:21:34 pm »

149: Annoy the manager by yelling "I ATE THE PECANS!" repeatedly in their ear.
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LeoLeonardoIII

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #78 on: December 09, 2013, 05:25:52 pm »

150. Gather and sort all products according to country in which they were produced.
151. Lay down strips of colored duct tape to show optimal routes for gathering products within lists posted at the start of each route.
152. Place Halloween plastic limbs and bones etc. under the lawnmowers.
153. Reorganize the books so all the religious stuff is under "fiction" and all of Hubbard's sic-fi is shelved alongside all the Scientology books.
154. Slip a printout of torrent links into each cylinder of blank CDs.
155. Organize the game section into "terrible", "old", and "overpriced - buy online instead". Terrible and old overlap in the middle, and overpriced spans both and sticks out a little to one side.
156. Stand all the fish upright in the seafood section and put Little Mermaid and Finding Nemo toys among them.
157. Put motivational (and demotivational) post-it notes on all the mirrors.
158. Test out all the lipstick before you buy it, on unsuspecting customers.
159. Calvinball in the sporting goods section! Also in housewares, electronics, and garden.
160. Liberally deploy "closed for renovation" signs.
161. Connect the soda fountain to the sprinkler system so if there's a fire it rains root beer. Hand out empty cups, unfurl an umbrella, and then engage the sprinkler system.
162. Zip-tie products to each other. If questioned, explain that you're trying to save by bundling.
163. Stock the entertainment section with plenty of documentaries about walmart, and also negative effects of globalization and employment discrimination in general.
164. Stock the employee breakroom with delicious healthy snacks and easy-to-understand summaries of employee's rights under state and federal law.
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #79 on: December 09, 2013, 09:59:31 pm »

153. Reorganize the books so all the religious stuff is under "fiction" and all of Hubbard's sic-fi is shelved alongside all the Scientology books.
Tempting...

Quote
159. Calvinball in the sporting goods section! Also in housewares, electronics, and garden.
Someone needs to make that an RtD.

Quote

163. Stock the entertainment section with plenty of documentaries about walmart, and also negative effects of globalization and employment discrimination in general.
164. Stock the employee breakroom with delicious healthy snacks and easy-to-understand summaries of employee's rights under state and federal law.
Dude. EXTREMELY cool.



165. Encourage rebellion among the masses of employees by pointing out their meager benefits for their 39-hour workweeks.
166. Rearrange products in a more sensible fashion.
167. Implement a Suggestion Box in such a way that removal is difficult.
168. Implement any suggestions placed into said box, no matter how absurd.
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kj1225

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #80 on: December 09, 2013, 10:07:27 pm »

169. Host a triathlon in the store.
170. Put sharks in the fish tanks.
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MrVoid

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #81 on: December 09, 2013, 10:55:10 pm »

148. Dress up as Link (the original one) and be rude to women. WHen they reply, say, " Well, excuuuuse me, princess!"

148a. Dress up as Link and exclusively respond to people with "HAAH" "SHOREYWA" and the like.
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Baffler

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #82 on: December 10, 2013, 12:01:23 am »

171. Build a massive fort out of boxes from the stock room with your friends. Secure the grocery department and don't let anyone in or out.
« Last Edit: December 10, 2013, 01:55:32 pm by Baffler »
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Zanzetkuken The Great

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #83 on: December 10, 2013, 12:20:16 am »

149. Build a massive fort out of boxes from the stock room with your friends. Secure the grocery department and don't let anyone in or out.

Number you should correct to is 171.
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #84 on: December 10, 2013, 07:03:24 am »

172. Declare war on Wal-Mart from said fortress.
173. Defend your fortress so well that a SWAT team has to be called in to drive you out.
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Gamerlord

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #85 on: December 10, 2013, 07:04:24 am »

174. Drown said SWAT team in magma.

kj1225

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #86 on: December 10, 2013, 07:55:45 am »

175.  Play Liberal Dwarf Squad in real life.
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Dorsidwarf

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #87 on: December 10, 2013, 11:31:27 am »

176: Hire a professional Kicker-Outer
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LeoLeonardoIII

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #88 on: December 10, 2013, 12:30:50 pm »

177. Gather all the baking soda and all the vinegar, make the largest science-fair volcano ever. Compare side-by-side with a volcano made from all the diet coke and all the mentos. Set them off at the same time, but channeled down opposite aisles.
178. Attempt to locate virgins to throw into the volcanoes to placate the chemistry gods.
179. Hold auditions for Jackass: Walmart Edition.
180. Print out a bunch of money orders for $6.66 and fill the cash registers with them.
181. Set up all the slip-n-slides, using tarps for additional length if necessary. Coat them in whatever lubricants are available. Hold maximum distance challenges with passers-by! Possibly in a canoe.
182. LARP and/or dance flash mob of a few hundred people dressed as walmart employees.
183. Prepare world's largest pancake, using only items you get from the shelves. The mix should be available in quantity, and large tubs for mixing with water. A shovel should stand in for a giant spoon. What would you use for a cooking surface? Barbecues underneath could provide heat.
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IamanElfCollaborator

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Re: 1001 Ways to Get Kicked Out Of Walmart
« Reply #89 on: December 10, 2013, 12:31:41 pm »

184. Use Mr. Welch's list as a checklist.
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