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[Urist Mc Dwarf]

Move to the other rooms to investigate id anyone is in there.

[USEC_OFFICER]

Turn 2

Operation: 'Get The Hell Out Of Here' is to detonate breaching charges on the external wall of the room one left and up from El Presidente's room.

[2] You head into the adjacent room to ready the breaching charges on the outside wall. But, to your dismay, the collapsing ceiling appears to have buried the charges under a pile of wood. You spend several seconds trying to reach them before realizing that your task is hopeless. Things just seem to be getting worse and worse for you.

take cover behind the nearest pillar then shoot Nihil.

[3 + 1 vs. 3] You take cover behind a nearby pillar and put a couple of rounds into Nihil, but she keeps on coming! Though with several bright-red splotches growing on her chest. 1 damage.

Rush up to ICBM Pilot. Attempt to disarm ICBM Pilot, preferably before he shoots someone.

[4] You boldly charge across the debris-littered lobby. Admittedly it's a bit late to stop ICBM Pilot from shooting someone, but you try to take his pistol anyways.

[5 vs. 6] Denied! During the struggle ICBM Pilot manages to get you into a headlock and pistol whips you upside the head. It is the third-most humiliating thing that has ever happened to you in your career as a deadly assassin. -1 health.

"Dammit!"
Dodge and weave. Rush up to ICBM and stab him.

[5] Seeing Joney getting thoroughly shamed by ICBM Pilot, you run over to the melee to help out.

[5 + 1 vs. 1] With ICBM Pilot distracted you easily get into range and shank his ass. Quite literally. He cries out in pain and releases Joney as he grabs his bleeding behind. 2 damage.

Plan 2/3: Pull out hidden AK47, shoot ICBM Pilot. Proceed to run down the hall after El President and co. afterwards.

[5] You pull out your hidden AK47 from your pants. Try not to think about it too much.

[4 vs. 4 + 1] You fire several rounds at ICBM Pilot, but he proves to be too cunning for you. And by cunning I mean that he hid behind a pillar and shot at you when you stopped firing. That bastard. Luckily your body armour protected you from his shots.

[1] You start to run after El Presidente, but stub your toe on a piece of lumber. It's really painful, but you'll try to suck it up. Successful counteracts natural 1s.

Grab the grenade I hid in the room across from us, and follow Matthias!

[1] You head into the next room to grab your hidden grenade. However someone appears to have taken it away while you were lounging around being El Presidente! In your haste to find the missing grenade, you accidentally close a drawer on your fingers. Doh! -1 health.

[2 + 1] Heading towards Matthias, you are distracted by gunshots coming from the lobby. Hopefully you can escape before the shots start coming after you.

I'd like to just enact Plan H - H stands for Here's my machine gun. A machine gun of some sort is hidden in the cupboard just behind me. I will take it and shoot the enemy if they come through my door.

[1] You start to enact your plan, but then realize that you don't actually have a machine gun with you. In frustration you kick a nearby cabinet, only to break your big toe. Gah! -1 health.

From down the hallway comes a cry of rage, as if someone misplaced something important. You feel a momentary stab of sympathy for that person.

Move to the other rooms to investigate id anyone is in there.

[2] Nope. Nobody here but us chickens.

Spoiler: Players (click to show/hide)

Andre Baluski, El Presidente!
Greenstarfanatic
Health: 3/5, Plans: 0
Sprinter
Inventory: Knife

Alex Shater, Bodyguard
Urist Mc Dwarf
Health: 3/4, Plans: 1
Tough as Nails
Inventory: Body Armour, Shotgun

Matthias, Bodyguard
ReDeadEr
Health: 2/3, Plans: 1
Brawler
Inventory: Running Shoes

ICBM Pilot, Bodyguard
Health: 1/3, Plans: 2
Gunner
Inventory: Pistol

Nihil Uriah, Assassin
DarkArtemisFowl
Health: 2/4, Plans: 2
Tough as Nails
Inventory: Knife, Repairman's Uniform

Joney, Assassin
aattss
Health: 2/3, Plans: 3
Cunning
Inventory: Grenade

Princess Sentinel, Assassin
TCM
Health: 3/3, Plans: 1
Successful
Inventory: Body Armour, Repairman's Uniform, AK47

Roger the Cunning, Assassin
lawastooshort
Health: 2/3, Plans: 2
Cunning
Inventory: Body Armour

If it wasn't for Successful and Body Armour, Princess Sentinel would have died by now. I may tweak things a bit for the next game.

Also, for future reference, attacks on El Presidente will always be calculated last so that people can try and stop you. Might be kinda important for the next game...

[TCM]

Yeah, I think I picked the most OP item/trait combo. Body Armor definitely needs to be fixed, as if the person wearing it gets either a 5 or 6 on a defensive roll, it's impossible for them to get damaged. Maybe it should have a limited number of uses? As for Successful, you could make it only block 1's 50% of the time.

[Greenstarfanatic]

God dammit. IGNORE THEM. GET TO THE CHOPPAH. Wait, no, that was confiscated last month...uh...keep following Matthias and stab anyone who gets in my way!

[USEC_OFFICER]

Yeah, I think I picked the most OP item/trait combo. Body Armor definitely needs to be fixed, as if the person wearing it gets either a 5 or 6 on a defensive roll, it's impossible for them to get damaged. Maybe it should have a limited number of uses? As for Successful, you could make it only block 1's 50% of the time.

These are both excellent ideas and will shamelessly steal them for next time. Though I'd like to point out that Body Armour won't protect from natural 6s.

[ReDeadEr]

"...Mierda."

Matthias goes to Plan B

[lawastooshort]

Dammit. Time to go to Plan F.

[Greenstarfanatic]

((I find it hilarious that I've taken the same amount of damage from a ROOF falling on me as I have squishing my finger in a drawer.))

[USEC_OFFICER]

((Realism at is finest.))

[DarkArtemisFowl]

Try to knock down ICBM and stab him some more.

[aattss]

If Necessary, finish off ICBM. If not, go towards the hallway where the president is supposed to be in.

[ICBM pilot]

start the best cunning plan ever!

[Urist Mc Dwarf]

Look for Roger, while shooting at him.

[TCM]

Run to corridor with El Presidente, and start firing down it.

[USEC_OFFICER]

Turn 3

Plan B is to see if the backup breaching charges in the room directly above the previous one survived the roof's collapse, and if so, detonate.

[1] Plan B is a lot like Plan A, by which I mean that they both turn out the exact same way. Actually, I'm lying. You manage to cut yourself on a rusty nail with Plan B. -1 health.

God dammit. IGNORE THEM. GET TO THE CHOPPAH. Wait, no, that was confiscated last month...uh...keep following Matthias and stab anyone who gets in my way!

[4 + 1] You follow behind Matthias, ready to stab anybody who needs stabbing. A group that may include Matthias, seeing as his plans keep on failing one after another.

Enact Plan F(eck it) - open up the hidden hole to the large central safe zone that I prepared earlier BUT DO THIS IN SECRET (it's an ambush!) - don't go through (it's not big enough!), go OVERWATCH!

ONLY if this is successful, then Enact Plan G(oddamn, it's my final Plan) - pull out the hidden RPG (or failing that machine gun), and cover the escape route with my hole!

No actually whatever happens, Enact Plan G, because if I don't get a gun I don't think I'm going to live very long with a broken toe.

[6] [4] You open the hidden window to the hotel's garden so that you can snipe Andre Balsuki as he passes by with your (also hidden) machinegun. As you do so the entire wall collapses outward, into the garden. Maybe destroying the entire roof of the building wasn't such a great idea after all.

reveal that I'm an assassin hired by an assassin who assassinated an assassin who tried to assassinate El Presidente to kill assassins that want to assassinate El Presidente then I run away pull the pin on joneys grenade then run away while they are confused.

[2] They ain't buying your story, so you decide to skip the whole grenade thing altogether and run away from the big scary guy with the knife.

[6] You manage to run clear across the hotel's lobby, thus leaving El Presidente completely exposed to the evil agents who want to kill him. You're sure to get a raise after all this, idiot.

Try to knock down ICBM and stab him some more.

[6] You chase after ICBM Pilot and manage to catch up with him on the stairs.

[1 + 1 vs. 3] However you trip rather unexpectedly, falling down the stairs head-first and into the opposite wall. ICBM Pilot decides to not use the stairs at all, and instead jumps right over them, goomba-stomping you as you stand up. You die pretty quickly after that. -2 health.

If Necessary, finish off ICBM. If not, go towards the hallway where the president is supposed to be in.

[5] Seeing as it's not terribly necessary to finish off ICBM, you run over to the hallway to confront El Presidente!

Look for Roger, while shooting at him.

[4] You quickly charge up the hallway and confront Roger with your shotgun.

[2 vs. 5] Unfortunately you did not count for the fact that Roger has a goddamn machinegun, and leave the shootout a little holier. -1 health.

Run to corridor with El Presidente, and start firing down it.

[5] You charge up to the corridor and begin unloading at El Presidente!

[4 vs. 6] Miraculously all of your shots manage to miss El Presidente! Seizing his chance, Andre Balsuki grabs a nearby brick and chunks it at your head. El Presidente sure has a good throwing arm, for his flying brick smashes into your nose and breaks it. -1 health.

Spoiler: Players (click to show/hide)

Andre Baluski, El Presidente!
Greenstarfanatic
Health: 3/5, Plans: 0
Sprinter
Inventory: Knife

Alex Shater, Bodyguard
Urist Mc Dwarf
Health: 2/4, Plans: 1
Tough as Nails
Inventory: Body Armour, Shotgun

Matthias, Bodyguard
ReDeadEr
Health: 1/3, Plans: 0
Brawler
Inventory: Running Shoes

ICBM Pilot, Bodyguard
Health: 1/3, Plans: 1
Gunner
Inventory: Pistol

Joney, Assassin
aattss
Health: 2/3, Plans: 3
Cunning
Inventory: Grenade

Princess Sentinel, Assassin
TCM
Health: 2/3, Plans: 1
Successful
Inventory: Body Armour, Repairman's Uniform, AK47

Roger the Cunning, Assassin
lawastooshort
Health: 2/3, Plans: 0
Cunning
Inventory: Body Armour, Machinegun

First kill of the game goes to... the cowardly bodyguard trying to save his own skin! Rolling a 1 in combat really shafts you since you're almost guaranteed to lose two points of health. I'm might bump up everyone's HP totals for the next game.

Also, the reason TCM didn't take 2 points of damage was because Greenstarfanatic didn't have a ranged weapon. Firing at a guy with no way to shoot back? A very good idea.

EDIT: Picking up items from dead people is a free action. This is a silly game, but it's not that silly.