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[Elephant Parade]

That looks a lot better than mine. +1.

[Weirdsound]

Chapter 1: Garden Gambit

Turn 16

"For me? Groovy! Thanks a bunch! Look at me Great Master, I'm anatomically correct!"

"I have no clue how that furthers my ambitions, but I'm happy for you anyway."

+4 Chemistry between Grek and Wishbone!


Holy Fucking Shit, We have a demonic skeleton turkey, This is the best day ever.

Demonic skeleton kung-fu turkey. Get it right man.

Yup. Wishbone is going to be awesome.

"Gosh, I have a fan club already? That's just swell!"

Wishbone gets 2 Chemistry with nuclearwhale, GwG, and anailater!

Ithan, Wishbone, Ignacio, Oscar, and Escort.
Lets head west.

"You move westward through the dungeon, until you arrive at the next room. Waiting for you are three elves, two dogs, and two large nasty looking plants.

As you get ready to fight, one of the elves calls out to the party!"

"Hail challenger! You have found a treasure trove in this room, and since you look new, I will provide appropriate exposition on the topic! A Treasure Trove holds 2-5 good quality loot items outside of what you are able to take off the guards. This particular trove has a unique mechanic; A multidimensional storage cave!"

"Multidimensional storage cave?"

"See that sealed cave to your northeast? It is full of many pocket storage universes full of loot. The pocket universe it can accesses changes with the flow of our battle; The cave will always yield a set of items related to the last sort of damage inflicted. So for example, if the last damaged inflicted before entering the cave was from some sort of fire spell, you would likely get alot of fire themed items. Be warned however that once somebody enters, the cave stabilizes, so that you may only claim one set of treasure.

Do you have any questions, or shall we begin?"
----

Party Information and Bestiary:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Current Notes:

Quest:
Odds of Success if Flare Gun is fired now: 58%

Quest:
Escort HP: 12/18
-1 Rooms have passed since picking her up.

Ithan:
-7/13 HP
-Has cast summon Naughty Tentacle twice this dungeon
-Has cast summon Cherub once this dungeon
-Has cast summon Hellhound twice this dungeon
-Has cast once from his necklace

Oscar:
-5/5 HP
-Has cast Fire Aura once this dungeon
-Has cast Puff of Flame twice this dungeon
-Has cast Thunderclap once this dungeon

Ignacio:
-11/12 HP

Wishbone:
-12/12 HP

Lil'Gronk:
-5/5 HP
-Has cast Lesser Healing once this dungeon

Battlemap:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(Map Source: http://i44.tinypic.com/azdi4w.jpg)

Town/Dungeon Map:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Key:
Your Current Location is the little Antman!
The Skeletal Dragon marks a boss room!
A Fire represents an altar to an elemental god!
A Sword in a stone represents a treasure trove!

There are stairs hidden on this floor somewhere!

[Grek]

Those flytraps look hella dangerous. I vote that Ithan summons more empowered locusts and takes them out first thing.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Darn Schrodinger's Cave.

Those flytraps look hella dangerous. I vote that Ithan summons more empowered locusts and takes them out first thing.

Sounds like a plan for him.

Oscar and Ignacio should advance. That way, when Ignacio is closer, Oscar can give him a fire aura to deal massive damage to the plants.
As for Wishbone...hm. First off, his character sheet still has the old pog. Moreover, he should move with Oscar and Ignacio due to his lack of ranged attacks.

[nuclearwhale]

Darn Schrodinger's Cave.

Those flytraps look hella dangerous. I vote that Ithan summons more empowered locusts and takes them out first thing.

Sounds like a plan for him.

Oscar and Ignacio should advance. That way, when Ignacio is closer, Oscar can give him a fire aura to deal massive damage to the plants.
As for Wishbone...hm. First off, his character sheet still has the old pog. Moreover, he should move with Oscar and Ignacio due to his lack of ranged attacks.

+1.

[anailater]

I'm sorry about this Ignacio, I tried my best.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I am the worst artist...

[GreatWyrmGold]

I'll say.

Why is his scar red?

[Weirdsound]

Chapter 1: Garden Gambit

Turn 17

"No questions here. Lets get down to business elf!"


I'm sorry about this Ignacio, I tried my best.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I am the worst artist...

"No... apology required. The fact that I now have a face... and a dapper outfit more than makes up for your... remedial level art skills friend."

+3 Chemistry between Ignacio and anailater!

Those flytraps look hella dangerous. I vote that Ithan summons more empowered locusts and takes them out first thing.

"Just call me roundup, because I kill plants dead! Buzzzzzzzt! Zzzzzsssist! Feeeeeaasssssst!"


"A piece of food is sacrificed, and once again the battlefield is blackened with a swarm of ravenous bugs! Sadly GM foresight has ensured that the plants are properly spaced so that they may not be hit by the same swarm spell. The bugs deal 24 damage to the northern Flytrap and then dissipates. The Elf Fencer is also caught in the swarm, but because it is not a plant, it only takes a (barely) survivable 8 damage."

The Flytrap is completely consumed by the hungry insects!
A Symbol of Summoning Appears on the Cave Entrance!



Oscar and Ignacio should advance. That way, when Ignacio is closer, Oscar can give him a fire aura to deal massive damage to the plants.
As for Wishbone...hm. First off, his character sheet still has the old pog. Moreover, he should move with Oscar and Ignacio due to his lack of ranged attacks.

"Old pog on character sheet? I have no clue what that means, but it sound serious! Thanks for catching that man! Hey Weird, be a swell GM and fix it please?"

+1 Chemistry between GwG and wishbone!


"K. Fixed.

Oscar, Ignacio, and Wishbone all move foward to get into a better tactical position, and then the baddies move!

The plant takes aim at the Skturkey and hacks up a nasty cloud of spines and prickles! Its attack roll is 15, which although not bad, is not quite enough to nick the evasive monk! Wishbone easily flies above the onslaught!

The critically wounded Fencer holds its ground, waiting for the foe to come closer. The southern Jackal moves towards it and casts lesser healing to heal a few of the nasty locust bites and restore 4 of the elf's hit points.

The Symbol on the Cave Entrance is Replaced by a Symbol of Healing!

The Northern Jackal moves south to get closer to the battle, but doesn't perform any other action.

With a snorting chuckle, the Southern Symbiote Aspirant casts Tree Drag on Ignacio! The large tree behind the ennemy reaches out to grab the golem, and with an attack roll of 16 separates him from the rest of the party by dragging him forward!

To make matters worse for the newly dressed Golem, the Flytrap takes an attack of opportunity by snapping at him as he is dragged past! It rolls a 16 for the attack, but luckily hits its minimum damage of 3, and only manages to tag Ignacio on the leg with its teeth!

The Symbol on the Cave Entrance is Replaced by a Symbol of Unarmed Combat!

With a lound *twang*, the Northern Symbiote Aspirant shoots across the river at the escort! The attack roll is 23, and the elf buries his arrow into Miss Kuhscheiße's gut for 5 damage!

The Symbol on the Cave Entrance is Replaced by a Symbol of Archery!"

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!"

"Well... This is a perilous predicament. A little... help please?"

----

Party Information and Bestiary:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Current Notes:

Quest:
Odds of Success if Flare Gun is fired now: 58%

Quest:
Escort HP: 7/18
-1 Rooms have passed since picking her up.

Ithan:
-7/13 HP
-Has cast summon Naughty Tentacle twice this dungeon
-Has cast summon Cherub once this dungeon
-Has cast summon Hellhound twice this dungeon
-Has cast once from his necklace

Oscar:
-5/5 HP
-Has cast Fire Aura once this dungeon
-Has cast Puff of Flame twice this dungeon
-Has cast Thunderclap once this dungeon

Ignacio:
-8/12 HP

Wishbone:
-12/12 HP

Lil'Gronk:
-5/5 HP
-Has cast Lesser Healing once this dungeon

Battlemap:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(Map Source: http://i44.tinypic.com/azdi4w.jpg)

Town/Dungeon Map:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Key:
Your Current Location is the little Antman!
The Skeletal Dragon marks a boss room!
A Fire represents an altar to an elemental god!
A Sword in a stone represents a treasure trove!

There are stairs hidden on this floor somewhere!

---


"During the editing process of this turn, I noticed that the Southern Symbiote Aspirant cheated. He is only allowed to pick targets within 2m of himself for the tree-drag spell. Since I don't want to go back and undo everything now, I've decided I'll let his cheating stand, but punish him for what he has done."

"Uh oh! Mercy! Please, MERCY!"


"I'll leave that up to the players! How should I punish the cheater guys? Or should I just let him get away with it?"

[GreatWyrmGold]

Easy. Put him in the quantum loot cave, where his form will be changed to suit whatever the final loot is.

Ignacio: Watch the aspirant vanish. Advance upon and stab a Life Priest.
Oscar: Firely charge at the plant.
Wishbone: Advance and attack!
Ithan: Um...not inspired right now. Let's see what the others say. Sorry, Ithan.

[nuclearwhale]

Man, these elves really hate the escort for some reason.

Ignacio: Watch the aspirant vanish. Advance upon and stab a Life Priest.
Oscar: Firely charge at the plant.
Wishbone: Advance and attack!
Ithan: Um...not inspired right now. Let's see what the others say. Sorry, Ithan.

+1
Ithan: Try out your new bow on... I can't see the map right now. Little help anyone?

[anailater]

Easy. Put him in the quantum loot cave, where his form will be changed to suit whatever the final loot is.

Ignacio: Watch the aspirant vanish. Advance upon and stab a Life Priest.
Oscar: Firely charge at the plant.
Wishbone: Advance and attack!
Ithan: Um...not inspired right now. Let's see what the others say. Sorry, Ithan.

+1 to all, as for Ithian Protect the escort girl!

[Weirdsound]

Chapter 1: Garden Gambit

Turn 18

Put the cheater in the quantum loot cave, where his form will be changed to suit whatever the final loot is.


"Into the cave he goes then!

I reach past the fourth wall, pick up the cheating elf, and throw him into the cave! As soon as he passes through the entrance however, the sealing symbol breaks and the cave stabilizes, and the elf with archery proficiancy lands in a small cave full of archery themed loot. Punishment complete!

...Wait, what?"

"Uh oh."


Ignacio: Watch the aspirant vanish. Advance upon and stab a Life Priest.
Oscar: Firely charge at the plant.
Wishbone: Advance and attack!
Ithan: Um...not inspired right now. Let's see what the others say. Sorry, Ithan.

Ithan: Try out your new bow on... I can't see the map right now. Little help anyone?

"Alright! Time for me to try my best and scorch the plant! Meeeeeeeeeeeeeewllllll!"


"Jets of fire erupt from just below Oscar's tail and feet, propelling forward towards the remaining plant at stupidly high speeds! The attack roll of 10 is enough to hit a stationary and soft-skinned plant. Oscar inflicts 1 damage with his teeth and claws, but the flame propelling him blasts the foe as well, inflicting 17 points of fire damage!"

The plant is reduced to a pile of ashes and vines!


"There isn't much satisfaction in stabbing a dog... but it is a start!"


"Ignacio advances upon the canine priest, and thrusts forward with his rapier! The attack connects with a total modified roll of 16. The sword enters into the priest's torso, inflicting 6 damage!

Ignacio deftly dispatches his foe with a quick thrust through the heart!

"And that... is how you use a sword!"

"Sword, smword! ♪Everybody was kung-foo fighting...♪"


"Wishbone musicly hovers across the battlefield before landing in front of the fencer! His modified attack roll of 26 is just shy of threatening a critical hit, but his output of 3 damage and 2 law damage is just enough to end the injured elf!"

Wishbone performs an ariel flip, and rips a large chunk from the elf's neck using his talons! The Fencer falls to the ground and bleeds out!"

"Umm... what exactly does nuclearwhale want me to shoot again?"


"One sec. He's sitting right next to me. I'll ask...

...It looks like you are shooting the remaining Jackal, and your attack roll of 16 means you hit. You roll the maximum damage: 6."

Boom! Headshot! The Jackal drops dead!

"Jeeze. The dice sure favor your offense this round. Lets see what the remaining baddies can do...

You can't see exactly what the 'punished' elf is doing in the cave, but you can hear the tell tale sounds of equipment being changed...

The other aspirant aims his bow at Ignacio and opens fire! His attack roll is 1! Critical Failure! The arrow flies wide and his bow string snaps, leaving him with only a knife and a few non-damaging spells with which to defend himself!

"You are mine now... amigo."

"Gosh darn! I wanted dibs!"
----

Party Information and Bestiary:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Current Notes:

Quest:
Odds of Success if Flare Gun is fired now: 58%

Quest:
Escort HP: 7/18
-1 Rooms have passed since picking her up.

Ithan:
-7/13 HP
-Has cast summon Naughty Tentacle twice this dungeon
-Has cast summon Cherub once this dungeon
-Has cast summon Hellhound twice this dungeon
-Has cast locust swarm twice this dungeon
-Has cast once from his necklace

Oscar:
-5/5 HP
-Has cast Fire Aura once this dungeon
-Has cast Puff of Flame twice this dungeon
-Has cast Thunderclap once this dungeon
-Has cast Fiery Dash once this dungeon

Ignacio:
-8/12 HP

Wishbone:
-12/12 HP

Lil'Gronk:
-5/5 HP
-Has cast Lesser Healing once this dungeon

Battlemap:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Map is a mess, and their are not many baddies left, so I have taken the liberty of marking them with yellow halos.



(Map Source: http://i44.tinypic.com/azdi4w.jpg)

Town/Dungeon Map:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Key:
Your Current Location is the little Antman!
The Skeletal Dragon marks a boss room!
A Fire represents an altar to an elemental god!
A Sword in a stone represents a treasure trove!

There are stairs hidden on this floor somewhere!

[anailater]

That was literally the worst idea we have ever had.
Ignacio, Wishbone, for fairness, do a double team battle brother combo attack!

[escaped lurker]

anaileater has a point, but remember that dubious holy sword? I say, aquireing an elven-slave for experimental purposes should definitely be on our agenda for this dungeon. With the subject being an elf, anybody will agree that "he had it coming" either way...

[GreatWyrmGold]

"Into the cave he goes then!

I reach past the fourth wall, pick up the cheating elf, and throw him into the cave! As soon as he passes through the entrance however, the sealing symbol breaks and the cave stabilizes, and the elf with archery proficiancy lands in a small cave full of archery themed loot. Punishment complete!

...Wait, what?"

You know that's not what I meant! The elf was supposed to become loot, not steal loot!

That was literally the worst idea we have ever had.

Is not! It just ended badly.
And I didn't see you coming up with any punishments...

Everyone: Advance towards the cave.

Ignacio: Fastball Special
Wishbone: Fastball Special
Ithan: Shoot the Elf
Oscar: Pin the hopefully-surviving elf.
Any objections to, say, Oscar's plans?