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[Urist Mc Dwarf]

Ignacio, let us avenge your brother in the next room. Ithan, get the chest. Should we get Lil' Gronk, or will that prove to painful for Ignacio?

[Nirur Torir]

So, uh, I admit I was wrong about trying to draw fire with the person we're trying to escort. That would have ended slightly unfavorably.

I think Ignatio should take Construct Amorality.
No opinions on who carries what.
Ithan should eat the turkey, and Oscar should get some catfood (unless the elves were feeding cats to their dogs, at which point we should kill them all). We're not so poor that we need anyone scavenging for food.

[GreatWyrmGold]

RIP, Gronk. Sadly, his remains are a bit unwieldy to remove from the dungeon, so we need to bury him here.

Hold a brief funeral for Gronk.

And while we're here, who wants to talk with the tentacle demon?

Attempt (long-range) discussion and diplomacy with the demon after the funeral.

[GiglameshDespair]

Wait - the naughty tentacles are red, but the greater tentacle demon is green... how mysterious.

I'd leave the rampaging demon alone, myself.

Ignatio should take the elemental resistance.

We should eat the turkey rations. Since we cant eat it in battle, it's unlikely to be something temporary. Therefore, we should get whatever prize is inside as fast as possible.

As for the loot:
Ignacio should get an Elven academy goon jacket, for whatever small AC boost it gives. He should also get Gronk's remains, to either bury or keep. He should also hang on to the shrooms just in case.
Ithan should get the bow and arrows, to give the party some other means of viable long range support.
Oscar should get the other Elven academy goon jacket, to destroy as he sees fit.
Rations can be held by whoever, and I dont really care what happens to the rest of the loot.

Ignacio should learn the earth spell upon leveling up. We need more spellpower on this team, because frankly, we are starting to run out of spell uses this dungeon.

+1

[Grek]

I would like to vote against burying Gronk here. If we're going to bury him, we should bury him somewhere that isn't full of elves.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Alright. How, praytell, will we haul a couple tons of wet sand out of the dungeons? We don't even have a party inventory anymore!

[nuclearwhale]

Perhaps we should keep the sand here, and transport his core elsewhere. I wouldn't be surprised if Ignacio would be able to find some leads for repairing Gronk.

[Grek]

A human-sized object made of sandstone weighs about 350lbs. Even if we assume Gronk is much bigger than a human, he shouldn't be more than 500 or so.

And yes, we could just take the golem core. That's the important bit. But we should also bring at least some of the sand, in case it's important to reviving Gronk.

[Weirdsound]

Chapter 1: Garden Gambit

Turn 16

... aren't we forgetting something?

First Order of Business - May I point out the treasure-chest sitting in the eastern corner, and that Ithan should be more than able to fly there, should the trees count as an obstacle? Well, I'l do so either way... ;З

Hand over the Bonus Loot, Weirdsound. Pronto!

Get the team nearby on standby thou - knowing our DM, it very well might be trapped.

"Right. Gather around guys. I'm going to open this!"


"It takes a few minutes, and Ignacio's help, but eventually the chest slides open. Inside is a golden sword! It glows with a bright radiance that is clearly not cursed or evil in any way."

"Score! With this mighty blade I shall rule all of creation!"

"Not so fast. I know my... materials. Gold does not make a good sword. Also, the GM is evil. It could be a trap."

"Good point. Should we leave it here then? Or risk having somebody carry it?"


"Meh. I'll just throw it in group inventory for now, until the players feel brave or cruel enough to make one of you poor saps mess with it."

"But, I thought we didn't have a group inventory anymore!"


"Or do you?" *Shifty Eyes*

"With that in mind, we set about dealing with the loot.

Ithan equips a rapier, a bow, and a quiver of arrows! He also takes a veggie ration to replace the one he burned summoning the bugs. He tries to wear the jacket, but it has two few armholes for an Antman to comfortably equip.

Ignacio equips a rapier! Although his body is vaguely humanoid, it is a bit to large and oddly portioned for the jacket to be of any use to him.

The useless jackets are then offered to Oscar, who gleefully tears them to shreds with his claws!

The remaining items will be added to party storage once you get it... which will be quite soon.


Ignacio, I'm sorry, if you want to talk about it, we're here for you.

"Thanks, but I am... a Golem of action, not words. I'll take care of this in my own way."

Ignacio, let us avenge your brother in the next room. Ithan, get the chest. Should we get Lil' Gronk, or will that prove to painful for Ignacio?

"That will be a start... I guess. Revenge is a dish best served cold... and thousandfold. I have a lot of bloody work ahead of me if I am to obtain satisfactory revenge for Don Gronk's death."

Sorry for your loss, Ignacio. If I had known that the elves were going to shoot Gronk, I would have used a different game plan. Think we can get a favor from Issac to bring him back somehow?

"Not your fault. Those elves... they could shoot right through the trees. How... could you plan for that?

Also, what... authority would a god of weather have over the existance of an earthen Golem?"

Lil Gronk + Miss Escort: Eat Burrito Rations

Ithan should eat the turkey, and Oscar should get some catfood (unless the elves were feeding cats to their dogs, at which point we should kill them all). We're not so poor that we need anyone scavenging for food.


Lil'Gronk catches up to the rest of the party, and everybody sits down on the well kept garden grass for a picnic lunch. Ignacio, who doesn't eat, stays away from the party and meditates silently over Gronk's remains.

"Thanks for splurging to let me eat real food Nirur! I think I'll give you a tropical island when I rule the world."

"Yeah! Cat-Catcher bait food is the absolute best! Thanks for the treat!"

+1 Chemistry between Nirur and each of the Mages!

"Arf! Yip!" *Happily Wolfs down his burrito!*

"ich danke Ihnen für die Lebensmittel!"

"Hey! Why in the blaizes is something moving in the back of my cornucopia?"


"Oh that? Thats just the prize I left in the Cornucopia for you. Enjoy it!"

Ithan pours a large pile of bones from the cornucopia! The bones begin to float, and assemble themselves into the shape of a turkey!

"Hey! Sup Ant? Did you eat my flesh?"

"Um... Yes?"

"Word. That means the Thanksgiving Rite is complete and I get to be your minion forever! Isn't that just swell? Name's Wishbone by the way, pleased to meet you!"

"HELL YEAH! I GOT A MINION! My name is Ithan by the way, but you can call me 'Master' or 'Great One'"

"How 'bout Great Master?"

"...I think you and I are going to get along Wishbone."

Wishbone the Undead Turkey Monk has joined the party!
Group Inventory has been re-activated, and thus Gronk's remains can be moved without much difficulty!
The Demon seems to have run off somewhere while you all were eating/mourning/sorting through items/getting minions!


"Again, Happy Thanksgiving Everybody! Now then, pick four party members to escort the escort, and the room you are visiting next!"
----

Party Information and Bestiary:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Current Notes:

Quest:
Odds of Success if Flare Gun is fired now: 58%

Quest:
Escort HP: 12/18
-1 Rooms have passed since picking her up.

Ithan:
-7/13 HP
-Has cast summon Naughty Tentacle twice this dungeon
-Has cast summon Cherub once this dungeon
-Has cast summon Hellhound twice this dungeon
-Has cast once from his necklace

Oscar:
-5/5 HP
-Has cast Fire Aura once this dungeon
-Has cast Puff of Flame twice this dungeon
-Has cast Thunderclap once this dungeon

Ignacio:
-11/12 HP

Wishbone:
-12/12 HP

Lil'Gronk:
-5/5 HP
-Has cast Lesser Healing once this dungeon

Battlemap:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

None ATM

Town/Dungeon Map:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Key:
Your Current Location is the little Antman!
The Skeletal Dragon marks a boss room!
A Fire represents an altar to an elemental god!

There are stairs hidden on this floor somewhere!

[anailater]

Holy Fucking Shit, We have a demonic skeleton turkey, This is the best day ever.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Yup. Wishbone is going to be awesome. But why does he have arms?

All but Lil'Gronk, again, now and forevermore until we get to somewhere where the enemies are unlikely to be canines.

[nuclearwhale]

Ithan, Wishbone, Ignacio, Oscar, and Escort.
Lets head west.

Holy Fucking Shit, We have a demonic skeleton turkey, This is the best day ever.

Demonic skeleton kung-fu turkey. Get it right man.

[Weirdsound]

Yup. Wishbone is going to be awesome. But why does he have arms?

All but Lil'Gronk, again, now and forevermore until we get to somewhere where the enemies are unlikely to be canines.

"I've been apeing pogs off of the Stone Soup tiles, because I'm pretty sure thats open source Free as in Freedom. That is the closest they have to a turkey. Somebody can draw him a better picture. I'm sure he'll appreciate it."

[Elephant Parade]

Give me a second.
Edit:

It's not better, but it arguably looks more like a turkey. Kind of. I thought turkeys had four legs for some reason.

[Grek]