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Author Topic: The Derail Games: A game of Awesome Chess.  (Read 170517 times)

Xantalos

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Despite not being a hero, deflect laser with handy mirror towards wall.
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Execute/Dumbo.exe

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reinforce the spiders with hardened chocolate plating using the laser to melt and cast the rest of the chocolate blocks!
Edit: I like that I'm kind of passively evil, tottering around summoning creatures from random whim and then moving on to the next random idea.
« Last Edit: January 17, 2014, 04:24:16 am by Execute/Dumbo.exe »
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He knows how to fix River's tiredness.
Alan help.
Quote
IronyOwl   But Kyuubey can more or less be summed up as "You didn't ask."
15:52   IronyOwl   Whereas Dungbeetle is closer to "Fuck you."

flabort

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Throw the moon at one of the hairline cracks
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The Cyan Menace

Went away for a while, came back, went away for a while, and back for now.

darkpaladin109

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Eat spiders.
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mastahcheese

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Eat spiders.
Would you like to post your action for the X-COM game, good sir?
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Oh look, I have a steam account.
Might as well chalk it up to Pathos.
As this point we might as well invoke interpretive dance and call it a day.
The Derail Thread

Dorsidwarf

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Explicitly add currently-held notebook to inventory, hoping it's got more unused pages than normal.
Briefly but carefully fumble around to see if my brush is merely dropped rather than destroyed, WITHOUT using any items.
[/b]
Should I fail, complain to the uncaring chair about the unfairness of a brush being a one-use item rather than a reusable tool



When I said you have "ONE flashlight and two brushes", that was not an inventory statement, but a correction of your interpretation of the inventory. You had "Word fragmentsx2, flashlight, etc", and read it as "Word Fragments, 2x flashlight, etc"
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Quote from: Rodney Ootkins
Everything is going to be alright

darkpaladin109

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Eat spiders.
Would you like to post your action for the X-COM game, good sir?
I'm pretty sure I posted it earlier in the thread. I'l post it here again, I guess.
Continue taking cover. Shoot aliens if I get a clear shot at them.
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Dorsidwarf

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Chapter 2: Bloodmoon:

Go patrol among the company. Try to raise morale amongst the troops.
You are petted and adored by the previously nervous crewmen as you make your way up and down the frontline trenches. You smell something strange, and start to feel restless.

Blockade the island; nothing gets in, nothing gets out. Fire on anything that does so. If they send forces, fire off torpedoes. If they send in shipping and cargo vessels, fire off the deck guns until they surrender or they are sunk. If they surrender, take all their goods and hold them prisoner. Send them to the mainland for slave labor and questioning. Strip them of all arms and ammo as well, sending them mainland as well.
Your force continues to do so for several days, blockading all vessels, shooting at cargo ships until they surrender, then sending their crew back to Valhalla. In the meantime, yuo amuse yuorself by shelling coastal fortifications. A few days in, a convoy guarded by warships comes into view. You prepare to launch a torpedo attack, but an attendant blimp in the skies is tracking you below the surface. A fast destroyer starts to depth-charge you, and you are forced to the surface, upon which a group of men land on  the sub and take you prisoner. On board the destroyer, the VHS 'Make My Day' a man with a beet-red face screams at you from an inch away 'WHY THE HELL YOU ARE SINKING ALLIED FUCKING CIVILIAN CONVOYS YOU DELUDED HALF-WITTED PIECES OF SHIT!?!'. A somewhat less volcanic man, informs you in a cold voice that you were supposed to be defending the island against Republic warships, not sinking Free City supply vessels. You are relieved of command, and sent back home in disgrace.

Begin construction of elephant mech. Wonder what happened to giant war machine being constructed in previous game.
As you wonder what did happen to the Lost Goliath of the Mines, you excitedly explain to the other technicians this brilliant idea for an armored walker that bullets just bounce off, for breaking the enemy Lines. You are so intent, and they are so enraptured, that they do not hear the whistling of the shell. Another clutch of casualties in the war, to be joined by many more as the most lethal bombardment of the war yet demolishes the command zone.
You are dead.

Call in extra supplies to build machine gun turrets that barely just have guns poking out of the trenches. Arrange for some soldiers to have rockets in case of armored attacks.
You send a runner back to the command post to ask for machine gunners, but the request is denied. You rig up some mortar flares though, to illuminate the battlefield during night attacks. You guess if they send an armoured car through, the flares would probably punch through a couple millimeters of armour. The deeper trenches now run further. Squads previously hiding in razorwire-filled craters are exceedingly grateful.

Call in for more men, start patrols at the lines and near the wreck if I am allowed to do that, make sure that EVERYONE going in the railway that is not a certified superior of me is searched entirely. Also try to research a better way to do modern warfare then using trenches.
You ring up command, and they agree to send through another battalion from the rear to the Lines. You start patrols of men through the countryside, ranging from the command posts at the Lines, back to the town. After some serious bootlicking, you get unrestricted access to the Wreck Zone from the science commissioner, and start patrols around the edge. While it's impractical to search soldiers coming off the railway, you start checking the veterans back off the Lines and civilians. You get reports of massive shelling on the lines a few miles northwest of yours, and are glad you called for more soldiers. There will be many graves tonight.

Lukeinator didn't last long...I'm not sure whether to laugh at his incompetence at trying to seize controll of so much at once, or  be worried about the unseen dice... 



Identify the first fragment as, most likely, 'main computer'. 


Request information:
Analyze current lighting conditions in greater depth. Review ability to get to the supply room and back without getting lost. Focus on ability to get TO supply room under scenario: (use flashlight) and scenario: (don't use flashlight).

Search for items:
Explicitly add currently-held notebook to inventory, hoping it's got more unused pages than normal.

You are pretty sure you know the way to the supply room. You just have to head back out through the red doors, then down the corridor, first left, then when you get the main tunnels, red wire back to the Supply Room, like that story about wool in a labyrinth. If you had to, you could do it in the very faint light that constantly seems to come from the whole ceiling, which just about lets you make out outlines. You put your notebook in your pocket, cursing yourself for not remembering where in this barn-sized room you got the fragment from.

Do what is necessary for a promotion
Look up various details of the various civilian sectors of the Goblin Republic

You ask your boss if they'd l[DATA EXPUNGED DATA EXPUNGED EXPOSURE TO THIS DATA WITHOUT VIOLET CLEARANCE OR HIGHER IS TREASON DATA EXPUNGED DATA EXPUNGED DATA EXPUNGED DATA EXPUNGED]ve the office, feeling a little strange, clutching your new Manager Third Class ID card. You look up the civilian sectors. Wow, that's a lot, almost like there's a trade economy. You restrict your search to government-employed sectors, and find: Arkelogic korps, Department Of Supply Department for wartime resource management, STUNG, The Central bank, the Public Service Bureau, and the Civilian Service.

Take everything, see if I can jimmy open the safe. Examine the skull closer.
Head out to the next fire.

You put everything into your servant's packs, then retrieve a crowbar and pry the door open. Inside is a small gold pendant, a copy of 'On serving your fellow humanoids', by Krek Silimnet - proscribed material -, and a few hundred Tok in coins.

Establish Lukeish Republic on small uninhabited Island near Vahalla.
The island is not uninhabited, and is variably an ally of the Free Cities and the Reaches but your 'Lukia' political party does win the local elections in the main city.

Requisition or steal a choppa bike, pile the squad on the back, and get over to the west lines as quickly as possible.
Dodge between the machine guns and drift the bike under the barbed wire. The team can shoot the enemies that try to stop us. When we get to the cityThere is no sodding city, the cat is in the trenches, they can throw me over the walls so I can undertake the assassination myself.


You kick a courier off his bike, strap yourselves to it, and roar your way across the Republic. At the Lines however, you are stopped from charging across No-man's land by a corporal, who points out that there are snipers everywhere across the line, and also that you seriously want to head a mile or so back from the Lines for a few hours. He looks around suspiciously, then whispers something in your ear.

Send a few squads of my men to assassinate a general or some other important person on the front lines.
You decide that if you are to capture the Wreck, you should first take out the local commander, in order to distract them and enable a major push. You call up the Artillery Division and order a mass barrage on the enemy Lines. After a few hours of giant howitzer blasts, you order your task force to sneak across the dust and mud-covered zone. They point-blank refuse to be suicidal, so instead you shame them into following by charging across the field yourself, which they do. You take a stray bullet in the buttock, from gun-nests firing into the smoke, but manage to stumble along into the enemy trenches, upon which a severed arm falls on you from the final shell. You vomit as the rest of your men pull you into the relative safety of a dugout.



Spoiler: Goblin Republic (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: North Reaches (click to show/hide)


Spoiler: Valhalla (click to show/hide)




Map of the Torn Isle



Map of the Lines




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Quote from: Rodney Ootkins
Everything is going to be alright

Xantalos

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Express displeasure at funny feeling. Try to pinpoint the source, and growl, hiss, etc at it while backing away.
If the funny feeling turns out to be an artillery bombardment, run the fuck away really really fast.
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Dorsidwarf

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MINUPDATE FOR CATS


Express displeasure at funny feeling. Try to pinpoint the source, and growl, hiss, etc at it while backing away.
If the funny feeling turns out to be an artillery bombardment, run the fuck away really really fast.

You hiss, growl, and run around randomly, unnerving the soldiers. You cannot quite place it's origin, but it feels worse in some places than others. One of the soldiers near you starts coughing. The feeling is definitely getting worse, especially when you are in the bottom of the trench.

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Quote from: Rodney Ootkins
Everything is going to be alright

Coolrune206

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Express displeasure at funny feeling. Try to pinpoint the source, and growl, hiss, etc at it while backing away.
If the funny feeling turns out to be an artillery bombardment, run the fuck away really really fast.

If my WWII knowledge is good, run the hell away fast. That's a gas attack. They're used to push people out of trenches. Hope they've got gas masks....
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"You are a shameful gaggle of cowards who has made a mockery of the challenge, but you have avoided death. Sit and eat."

Lukeinator

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Become general of republics army, plot.
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http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=135480.0 My second FOOTBLEED game.
This thread is Bay12 incarnate.


Like the mermaid bones farm and the Kill-your-baby machine.

Xantalos

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RRIIAAOOW
*translated: FUCKERSHITBALLSASSRAT

Get the hell out the trench, hissing at the soldiers to do so as well. Paw at gas masks/respirators until they get the message. Once out of the trench - the side that leads towards our camp - run in a weaving pattern toward said camp as fast as possible.
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

fractalman

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:double checks current inventory: well, you win some, you lose some.

oh, good, I can afford to run out of flashlights.  maybe.
search for objects that look like they might match up with the word fragment(s), using the flashlight this time. Be ready to dust off interesting areas with brush. no, no, interesting is a synonym for distracting. be ready to dust of relevant looking locations. 


-the notebook is to help me get back if I have to head to the supply room.  :D
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This is a masterwork ledger.  It contains 3719356 pages on the topic of the precise number and location of stones in Spindlybrooks.  In the text, the dwarves are hauling.
"And here is where we get the undead unicorns. Stop looking at me that way, you should have seen the zombie deer running around last week!"

poketwo

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prepare defenses for the inevitable push, also if its a commando team trying to break through. go and try to get new weapons from the wreck. 
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