Zechariah paused for an unsettling amount of time, murmuring silently to himself and searching the ground with his eyes. He crossed his arms and looked up to the ceiling of the cavern once agian.
"I acted like I did back there, because I saw myself inside the face of that woman. I saw Artemis, the demon he was, taunting me again. He's the one who made me lose my mind, and he's part of the reason why I have this power. He was the parasite attached to me, using me for his own wishes and manipulating me to be a force untold under his command. My super-ego told me that Artemis was completely insane, but my id told me that I wanted this power, that I needed this. That's why I didn't want to kill her, not because of some stupid love or protection of innocence. It was because I saw my own pain within that image, and I didn't want anyone to experience what I had experienced."
Zechariah sighs and attempts to recover from the flood of stress and complication that he experiences on a daily basis.
"I'm going to ask this again: why didn't you pick someone like Jordan? He's a star character under your checklist. He's been pitch-perfect this whole mission, completing objectives, dispatching guards, and avoiding traps like some protagonist from an action movie. Heck, he's still on a roll right now. He's much more sensible than I am. Wouldn't you prefer someone who is much more stable and direct, as opposed to someone with complex, cataclysmic potential? Or even Irine, she has powers rivaling you entities, coupled with a penchant for seeking information and finding truth." Zechariah sits back on the edge of the bed and puts his head in his hands.
"I... I honestly don't see why you'd pick someone like me. Doesn't matter what potential you say I have, it's not useful at all if I can't keep calm long enough to utilize it well. I bet Alan could do better than I can." He sits like this for a small while, before looking up again. "I have already butchered the first mission, and I'm probably gonna end up falling amazingly behind the others, who will promptly slaughter me the first chance they get. What do I have that they don't? Some fairy wings, glowing eyes, and a piece of wood?
"...
If you still have some ludicrous idea that I can still make it, fine. Because I do want to help others, and if I get that chance, I won't hesitate to take it. But I've already failed this mission, so how will I get this supposed power you're talking about? Because frankly, Jordan is topping the leader-board right now, and I'm sure that he won't blink at the opportunity to blow what's left of my brains out. And I'm sure you don't believe in the power of will like I do. I believe I can win, but I don't think you do." Zechariah clears his throat and holds back tears, his wings and eyes glowing brighter and taking on a hint of amethyst color.
"I have to win. Not for myself, but for those who I promised a better future than this, and to make sure Artemis doesn't hurt anyone else. With or without your help."