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[GreatWyrmGold]

If Asimov existed, his Laws did.
They just weren't ever used for practical purposes.

[kj1225]

I kind of want to see whether DR has the biological functions of a regular human being. That would be interesting. I also want to play Kyle like Scotty now. But that isn't going to happen.

[GreatWyrmGold]

...What "biological functions" do you intend to test?

[kj1225]

Normal things like eating and menstrual cycle. Unless women don't have menstrual cycle in the Glorious Unicorn universe.

[Alexandria]

Inform the AI it is free to eject the idiot sending warnings without a space suit, send marines to shoot said idiot if the AI doesn't. Invite the captain to come aboard.

[BFEL]

Become Reaper

[NEGATIVE INFINITY] You are still dead, and if you continue doing nothing but making Mass Effect references, you will be in a permanent cloning/painfully dissolving loop.
Yeah that ending seriously has me that pissed off to this day.

Kyle stands up properly and leaves the room while blushing.
Experiment with my new hand.

"Oh good, not something that needs too much killing."
Smack the engineer. Bastard.

[4,5] Kyle is soundly smacked squarely in the septum. He then leaves hastily and begins "experimenting" with his hand. Lets just pretend we don't know what hes doing.

Create a two copies of the most recent unit, set one up to open a rift back into this universe. Set the other one up to generate a continuous rift to an eldritch dimension comprised entirely of Eurodance. Create a copy of the first unit. Set it up to manipulate and shape the rifts of the other units. Create a rifle that utilizes the Eurodance rift generator and the rift manipulators in order to fire a directed pulse of pure Eurodance in physical form.

I um.....whut? Ok this is starting to go over my head in pure mindfuckery so I'll just let the dice handle this [2] < there, it didn't work. Shit got messed up. Please stop compressing universes into other universes that are cycling through a third, empty universe now.

"Get out of here the entire crew on the ship is mad!"
Mark shouts into the speakers hoping the ship would get the message and get out

you don't get a turn because you won't post in bold and I am tired of doing conflict rolls for now.

Check if there are nearby habitable planets.

Install boombox with external speakers and radio transmitter on space gimp suit.

There are no nearby habitable planets. [2] You stand around clicking on the boombox, trying to make it install, but it is from the 80s and resists your technological superiority.

Not what I meant!

Locate Mark Shapherd before he ruins First Contact.

Inform the AI it is free to eject the idiot sending warnings without a space suit, send marines to shoot said idiot if the AI doesn't.

Mr. Janitor, it is time for you to do what you do best. TAKE OUT THE TRASH! And also throw that guy out the airlock. Also the airlock is now ajar. Do not try and store syrup In it.

Invite the captain to come aboard.

Shall I have the sign in your whore-nest flipped to "OPEN FOR BUSINESS"?

Also I notice we probably need an OOC thread. Making that now. EDIT: Its up now. Also linked in OP

[kj1225]

What are you thinking of? I mean see what it can morph into and stuff like that. I would have put quotes around it if I meant that.
Put syrup in the airlock because of the A.I. being a dirty son of a gun.

[BFEL]

Put syrup in the airlock because of the A.I. being a dirty son of a gun.

Im not the one who fondled her. TWICE

[kj1225]

But you have been staring at her hardware. And neither time was on purpose.

[Harry Baldman]

Hm.

Add Eurodance Beacon to space gimp suit. A Eurodance Beacon operates similarly to a distress beacon, but instead of a distress call, it transmits cruel and unusual amounts of Eurodance.

[GreatWyrmGold]

"...Awrayt. Ah beit moah thayn Ah'd-uv dun, but whut mus' be dun mus' be dun."

Use caustic cleaning chemicals to drive Mark Shepherd into the airlock. Close airlock. Open outside of airlock.

[BFEL]

But you have been staring at her hardware. And neither time was on purpose.

CORRECTION SQUISHABLE! I WAS STARING LURIDLY AT HER SOFTWARE

[GreatWyrmGold]

But you have been staring at her hardware. And neither time was on purpose.

CORRECTION SQUISHABLE! I WAS STARING LURIDLY AT HER SOFTWARE

"If Ah recawl corectlay, yew sayd yew were lewkin' a' her cheups. Tha's hahdwayuh."

[kj1225]

You sound very calm and not at all like you just got caught. I do hope your sarcasm detection protocols are doing alright.

[BFEL]

But you have been staring at her hardware. And neither time was on purpose.

CORRECTION SQUISHABLE! I WAS STARING LURIDLY AT HER SOFTWARE

"If Ah recawl corectlay, yew sayd yew were lewkin' a' her cheups. Tha's hahdwayuh."

Whatever. Its different. Because shutup.

Also holy crap do we need an In Character thread too? Jesus fuck.