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[The Alchemist]

Upgrade Dansmithers new body to better excel at his job of "meatshield", add armor to the front and a gratuitous amount of weapons. Be sure to include any features that Dansmithers requests.

"Ah, I see you've come to now. While I'm upgrading your body anyways, are there any specific upgrades that you want?"

[Dansmithers]

Acid sprayers

[GreatWyrmGold]

((That's the best thing you can think of for it to spray?))

[Dansmithers]

Sorry.
Flaming acid Jarate sprayers.

[killerhellhound]

(you may want to add a Flaming Lightning ninja star gun. )

[GreatWyrmGold]

((Or the Scourge of Gorn Guro.))

[BFEL]

Go to the medbay to have parasites dealt with.

There is no medbay, only a cloning bay, because you are all expendable

Kyle having gotten that out of the way goes into the cloning bay to make sure everything is up to snuff.

Righto. No ship-eaters. Sounds good.

dick around with some bioforms because bored.

Kyle gets to the cloning bay and is assaulted by [6][3] SIX DIRE BUNNIES [3] The battle rages with both sides of the combat being roughly equal. That's right kj, you are equal to SIX DIRE BUNNIES or at least until [5] You realize they are FUCKING RABBITS and stomp on their necks.

Have my evil assistant prepare pamphlets on weapon safety that burst into flames as soon as you open them, then distribute them to the entire crew.

[1] Your assistant is not so much evil as "doesn't know any better" and puts all the pamphlets on your bed. The fire rages for HOURS.

((I was intending to start off in a robot body anyway ))
"Combat analysis indicates melee superiority of hostiles. Melee weapon use must be modified to match this technique."
Create a mechanical device that can be secured to a codpiece. Attach the weapon to the device and ensure that the user can still swing it from the codpiece.

All manuals on military safety advise that this is retarded. I think its hilarious though, so everyone gets one!

Make gimp suit spaceworthy.

Uploaded with ImageShack.us You now have a spaceworthy gimpsuit. And I cannot WAIT to see what you fucking do with that shit

FUP YEA!
Inspect new body.

[1] Your "robot" body is made entirely of fleece. You are now a sentient Onesie. Also you have a gun, because everything has a gun. It will probably kill you if you ever use it, but you got it.

Upgrade Dansmithers new body to better excel at his job of "meatshield", add armor to the front and a gratuitous amount of weapons. Be sure to include any features that Dansmithers requests.

"Ah, I see you've come to now. While I'm upgrading your body anyways, are there any specific upgrades that you want?"

and boy does that NEED upgrades [3] It kinda stays samey....you armored his front....with fleece from his back. And you added weapons, including a pencil sharpener. He still has the insta-suicide gun though

I'm not ruining it! It ruined itself!

Clean. Grumble about insane crewmates.

[1] Your grumbling isn't very crotchety at all, and is in fact kinda upbeat.

[kj1225]

Kyle walks over to the console that controls the vats and types,
'>Open FileExplorer.exe'

[Furtuka]

Create a drink that shall kill the parasites and leave me unharmed.

[Parsely]

Fire my assistant. No no, I mean set him on fire.

Put my assistant into a room filled with jugs of clear, flammable liquid, chop his nose off and set one of his feet on fire. Tell him that one of them has water in it.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Re-enter the ship and clean the inside.

[TCM]

Kill Hitler.

[ragnarok97071]

Be sad that super special secret action wasn't done :<

Then create a partition that the main AI can't see and hide it, doing nothing with it for now.

[kj1225]

You aren't worried about the guy looking through the files?

[ragnarok97071]

Kyle walks over to the console that controls the vats and types,
'>Open FileExplorer.exe'

Code: [Select]

'Fraid I can't let you do that, Meatbag.

>_