The LAZOR will explode the second you use it. And that armour's hard-seals are faulty. I'm an evil armoury master. Muahaha.
Give Harry Baldman a plasma cutter that works, and a face-shield that doesn't, so he can get to work on cutting his fingers off and burning his eyes out decking out that office of his!:D
[4] Wait for it.
Sweet. Find a survivor of the alien fight, treat for PTSD (Eurodance Variant PTSD, that is) in awesome office.
[5] You bring the survivor down to your office, making incredible breakthroughs in relieving his psychosis [2] until the plasma cutter the armoury master gave you explodes, burning the survivors face horrifically and sending him into flashbacks, until he tries to claw you to death, and you are forced to put him down.
((Didn't realize you were assuming that. And it's neither an RtD nor past tense, but yes we are co-players of a game where Demons Run originated.))
Don space suit. Continue quest to remove pink paint space bugs from the hull.
You continue your eternal quest to ruin our paint job.
Go calibrate something.
You go to your quarters shut the door and begin moaning. When someone asks whats going on you just scream "CALIBRATING" (yeah you should prob be more specific. A lot more specific.
experiment in ways to cook the space parasites that have been living in the airducts
[1] You find that the best way to cook space parasites, is to not cook them, feeding them to the crew raw. This results in [2931] deaths. Also you have stomach parasites, because you always try your own cooking. Shoulda just stuck to chicken and waffles
Kyehehe... Cloning, huuh~? I can work with that~
position myself in cloning, making sure that I still have control of the remnants of the ship that last hosted me (the fighters)
((But seriously did you just put the psycho AI in charge of the place she can make an army of monsters on short notice?))
Well you have fun with that. Try not to make any horrible monsters that devour the crew and tear up the ship. Its fine if they only devour the crew though. Those things are expendable.((caustic cleaning chemicals kill everything also If I checked the suit I would have noticed the fault in the seals))
Fix the faults in my gear while muttering about damm mass produced crap then check over the rife and fix that up too
[/quote] Please bold your actions, almost missed you. Also [3] You um...maybe make some headway? You aren't too sure [2] so you decide to test it out anyway, firing the LAZOR and it explodes in your face. Good thing you fixed those hard seals, or you would be in need of cloning.
Name:
UW-DA-P4Job: Weapon Design/Manufacture
Biography: An experimental AI unit designed to be unpredictable in order to prevent enemies from being able to guess its next action. Although successful in its purpose, it lacks any concept of practicality, logic or sanity.
"Combat data analysis is complete. Developing suitable counter-weapon to hostiles..."
"weapon design complete. Commencing weapon creation."
Create a bladed flail that utilizes components from light fixtures and assault rifle magazines. Incorporate a chemical cleaning agent and a method for spraying it from the weapon.
You are installed into a nice robot body, because I am tired of sharing ship space
The flail is surprisingly effective, solely due to the cleaning supplies that it can fire. The rest just kinda hangs there.
Name: Vivyan Blackbourne
Job: Roboticist
Find any crew members still in critical condition and replace the damaged organs, minus the brain, with cybernetic equivalents. Also replace any lost limbs.
[6] You find Dansmithers dead body. You then put his brain into a robot body, because DAMN HE GOT FUCKED UP. Literally.
PROTECT THE SHIP
[1] You try and protect the ship from itself, but there is too much going on, so you just kinda stand there banging your head on a wall to the beat of eurodance.