Teenage Apprentice: dance and sing through town. They'll probably enjoy that.
Dog-Prophet: Set out to convert other dogs already!
(6-1) The insane teenage apprentice decides that's a very good idea. (1) The teenage apprentice loses his voice! (2) And no one likes his dancing.
(1) Your dog-prophet decides to- squirrel!
Followers: 1 distracted Prophet Dog with a speech impediment and a gift for drawing adopted by an insane stuttering teenage apprentice who has a side business selling the stuff his dog draws and who can destroy objects with song.
Prompt my prophet and disciple to put on a concert for the masses. And convert them all.
(2) They decide to practice first. (2) They jam out, but fail to come up with any tunes.
Followers: 1 rocker prophet
1 rocker disciple
"If one method doesn't work, that doesn't mean it cannot work in a different context." - The Book of Angel.
Brainwash the parents if they look at the book. The reading of the book helps, but at this point it'd be good to leave nothing to chance.
(3) The parents ask the child if he stole the book, then ask him to put on a shelf of random scrap.
50% Holy Book: The Book of Angel
Nyeh, screw the violence. I set up a wall of squiddyness around the village, and command everyone inside it to do the macarena!
(1) A wall of squids appears around the village. Since squids are pretty small, so the wall is about 6 inches high. (5) A booming voice yells "Everyone do the macarena!" (5) The villagers comply.
Prophet: Repeat last action.Since he has the eagle now I won't smite him lol
Merchants: Last action, but convert those who dislike/are neutral about there current religion.
Assassin's Guild: Keep running, and if necessary incapacitate the chasers using some form of ranged weapon (daggers, smoke bomb, est).
Town watch wives: Now that they have power over the town watch, convert them.
Zarut: Plant holy thoughts about Zarut in the minds of the bishops and such of the other gods, to get them to question there current faith.
(1) Your prophet starts looking for where all of the other followers went too. (4) He finds the cloth merchant and decides to hang out in his store.
(4) Another 10 converts join.
(5 vs. 4) The mob catches up to the assassin's guild (2) who don't seem to have any range weapons on them.
(3) The town watch wives are busy. They did just get married.
(3) The priests decide Zarut isn't really the threat they thought it was.
(You have about 1/5th of the town converted. And I don't remember how many died.)
Holy Book: 2 turns away from completion. Next installment due in 2 turns.
Followers:
Bob the lazy clean thug prophet with falcon
1 wavering thug attendent
1 rich cloth merchant
30 townspeople
5 merchants
1 book merchant
15 thugs
1 Chief Assassin
4 Assassin's Guild Members
30 wives of the town watch
10 bandits
Enemies: On'Li
Goddess of Wind and Pity
The god of Magic and Disease
Get the entire village on drugs with DIVINE INTERVENTION. If AAAAAAAAAAAA says a village is on drugs, the village is on drugs.
The followers shall now proceed to convert drugged up villagers while being on drugs themselves.
(6) Congrats, you just addicted the villagers to barbiturate. They all fall asleep
Alternate Title: Old Spice Guy
Holy Dance: Walking the Dinosaur
Followers: 1 sleeping prophet (+1 to combat), 5 sleeping men holding torches and pitchforks (+1 to combat), one reluctant sleeping household
Enemies: 1 sleeping village
Conjure up some alcohol and execute the booze plan.
(The NSA going to have a field day. I just looked up dangerous drugs and drugs in general, now I have to find 100% alcohol)
(6) You summon several barrels of ethanol. (4) YOur prophet sets up a distillery. (1) Then he goes blind from taste testing his own booze.
Followers:
1 old blind strong farmer prophet
Enemies: 1 ugly humiliated former prophet turned successful self-help book author
Send giant eagles and falcons to eat Zarut's assassins.
(1) You summon
a tree. Stupid typos.
Holy Book: An Account of the Matyrdom of the Prophet of Odessy
Sacred Animals: Birds of Prey
Followers: 1 historian and his family of 10 + 2 servants
Enemies: The Followers of the God of Sleep
Party People
Place my hand on my prophet's forehead, to heal her insanity.
Create some kind of lightning as a warning shot, then tell them to STOP FIGHTING! NOW! in my best, booming divine voice.
Impede Zarut's actions. All of them, since he seems to get so many.
(6) You cure your prophet's insanity utterly. You are hailed as the god of magic and disease returned in human form.
(5) You then conjure a giant lightning bolt to strike the ground.
(2) You fail to impede.
Followers: 1 prostitute
Enemies: Zarut
Prophet: Continue luring away the horses.
The Rider: Scour the land for ghosts and spirits.
(1) Your prophet is caught by an angry mob.
(6) You find plenty of ghosts. They don't seem to like being disturbed.
Followers: 1 prophet with power over horses
Enemies: 1 angry mob
Shift all that jealousy onto the wounded of the god of Jealousy and then make their wounds extremely fatal. Heal My wounded, and have the archers continue firing the bows while the others try to break into the temple.
(6) They lose all their jealousy and start wondering why they have to attack this god anyway. The followers of the god of jealousy feel very jealous and charge. (5) Then the wounded ones die. (1) You kill your wounded so they can join you. (5) Your archers, seeing the followers charge at them feel motivated to shoot. (1) They suck at shooting, and two of them shoot themselves by mistake. (4 vs. 3) The jealousy followers kill and injure 7, but lose 3 men.
Followers:
1 prophet
26 villagers
4 injured followers
8 villagers with bows
2 injured villagers with bows
Enemies:
4 fanatical followers of the God of jealousy
1 injured follower
Contact our artist fellow. Clarify that he is to produce a book, based on our image, worthy of reverence.
(5) You contact him informing him that he has been chosen to produce a book based on your image. (4+1) He seems fine with this, and is well-qualified.
1) Inspire "Marley and the Wailers" to begin working on the "You Need Ganja" Remix in order to inform the town about the wonders of ganja.
2) Flood the lord's room with the holy herb to make him more susceptible to suggestion and then command his son to convert him to the faith.
3) Commend the partying followers for upholding the tenants of the faith but remind them that their god sorely needs the census data.
(5) "Marley and the Wailers" get to work. (4) "You need Ganja" looks like its going to sound good.
(6) The lord gets crushed to death by the holy herb. On the plus side, the son's in charge now. On the minus side is that his uncle is put in charge of the estate until the son is 21.
(6) The partyers decide to tell you what they know. "The town has, like, 700 people, man." "Yeah, its like the biggest town around it." "The major religion is worshiping the God of Law" "Yeah, but there's that weird cult that promotes baby worship and huge parties. They say that having a baby is like, the most holy thing there can be. It sounds kind of cool."
Followers: 1 incredibly high prophet named Marley
14 young men and women
1 young lord
Smite the prophet, start over in a different village.
(2) You miss the prophet. "hey what was that for? Eating roasted kitten with peanut sauce is one of the best dishes ever. The more the kitten is kicked, the better it is.
I think this is the weirdest turn ever.
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Topic: ROLL TO CONVERT (Sign-ups Are Closed) (Read 55298 times)